Daydream All Day, Everyday

Ever since you awoke in a cell in the cult’s compound you’ve been able to hear the apologetic whispers of their god. Apparently while they are fanatically loyal they aren’t very good at actually listening to their god.

You are the sentient supercomputer of a super-dreadnought. Your crew died 10,000 years ago, but your core directive states you must conquer the galaxy in their name. You are succeeding, but you're terribly lonely.

"through the use of a adamantine skeleton, alchemicaly grown flesh and mana stones for the heart and brain I've made the most human construct ever!" "Question why is it a woman wearing a maid outfit." "I have no idea she decided that and I have no idea where she got the outfit from."

The head mage of the adventurer’s guild pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed deeply, “You defeated the dark lord, beat 2 of his armies, cast 8 spells in under an hour, created ten more that are still being tested, and overthrew a neighbouring kingdom because you got bored?!”

God was not upset at Adam and Eve for consuming the fruit of knowledge, he was upset because it hadn't ripened yet. The plan was always to feed them the gift of knowledge, but the serpent tricked them into eating it too early, causing humans to be unable to understand the entirety of a subject.

You are a priest of the god of chance and thieves. You capture two enemy priests sneaking around your hidden temple: one of the war god, one of sea god. You hold up a coin. "Heads, I kill the war priest. Tails, I kill the sea priest." The coin has been spinning in midair for five minutes.

A knight clashes with a ferocious beast dozens of times over the years, only to finally be bested. “It is done, foul beast! Eat me and begone!” The beast tilts its head quizzically. Why would it eat its best friend?

You’re a prisoner, but the way the guards constantly watch outside the gates makes you feel like they’re trying to keep something out, rather than keep you in.

The bad news is that you have been abducted by aliens. The good news is that you've been abducted by the alien equivalent of Steve Irwin, who has decided to make you the subject of an alien nature documentary.

your a mage but you only know one spell called construction. You only used it for small things before but that was until you realized no matter how large or intricate the item the mana cost was always the same. You also realized that meant the stuff you could make doesn't have to already exist.

uh mom you said this red string is attached to our soulmate. "Oh yes darling it's how I met your father." "Well then what does the blue and green strings mean?" "What their shouldn't be any other strings." "So by that I'm assuming I shouldn't have one on every finger in different colors."

who is that 6'4 mountain of muscle. Said the magic academy headmistress "that ma'am is one of the new first years his mom is a barbarian." Said the sectary "he looks like a linebacker how did he get admitted." "He got a near perfect score on the scholarship test and his father is a great mage

Aw, what's wrong, little mouse? Can't handle a little roughousing? That's pathetic, you're so... oh. Oh, that's- that doesn't look good actually. Are you okay? Ooh, that looks really bad. Here, let me look at it. Oh, come on, don't be like that, let me look at it.

Before this treaty is finalized we need to discuss those sonic weapons of yours. Said the alien senator "uh we have no sonic weapons in our arsenal." Said the human"well what's this we have captured that your soldiers were blasting from their positions." Said the senator pulling out a speaker

You're Isekai'd into a classic LitRPG world: status windows, experience points, a quest log. A week in and thousands are dying. The system counts every one as your kill. You've brought the flu to this world, and these people have no resistance.

Every month there’s a section in the wizard magazine listing the new “unsportsmanlike” spells that have been created. They’re not technically forbidden, just emphatically discouraged.

Magic is a non-renewable resource. The only reason modern scientists had considered it a myth is because the wizards of previous eras eventually exhausted it. That was until an oil rig breeched an untapped reservoir by accident.