My Trashy Blog for TWD

1. Holy crap we’ve reached 300!? When I made this blog I never expected it to amount to anything, I just wanted to shitpost about twd lol. So thanks for following, I love every single one of you💓

2. I’ve had some inspiration recently for a carl x reader fic and I think I want it to be a series if people like it enough. I still have a lot of work and planning to do on it but hopefully I’ll be able to post the first part of it soon:) 3. So so sorry for the lack of posts (I know I apologize in almost every post, hopefully one day ill get to a point where I won’t have to lol). I just haven’t had time to do anything other than working and school these last few weeks and I’m very sorry! But I promise to write whenever I have any free time & I hope you’re excited for what’s to come💗

Word count: 1,689

Pairing: Carl x Reader

Summary: Alexandria gets a new arrival who happens to be a huge part of Reader’s past.

Warnings: language (only once) and hints of abuse  

A/n: def gonna do a part 2 to this to finish the backstory & stuff so I hope you guys like it!

———–

You sat on the ground, leaned up against the gate that guarded Alexandria. You stare at the rip in your dark jeans, unable to think of anything else other than the fact that he was there. 

“I just wanna forget,” you sigh, throwing your head to the side in defeat, trying to hold back the tears he was causing. “Just forget it all,” you whisper as you bring your knees up and hug them to your chest.

———-

“Hey, wake up,” you heard as you felt a soft hand gently shake you awake. You slowly blinked your eyes to adjust them to the light. Once you could fully open them, you looked up to see Carl standing above you with a smile on his face. He was wearing his usual flannel and jeans, your favorite look on him. “Morning,” he said, sitting down on the bed next to you. You returned his expression and smiled back at him and slowly raised your arms above your head to complete your morning stretch.

“Mmmmm,” you sighed as you let your arms fall back down to the bed. “What’s going on?,” you asked, curious as to why you were being woken up. You didn’t know what time it was but judging by the bright light shining through the bedroom window, you guessed it was early.

“Oh, um, we have a new member. Dad wants everybody to meet him and stuff, you know,” he replied, falling over, landing on your stomach with a giggle and leaving his legs dangling off the side of the bed. You laughed at his tiredness as you laid comfortably on your back. You laid a hand on his head and slowly ran your fingers through his hair with a grin.

“I don’t know, I think I’d rather stay here with you,” you smirked, desperately not wanting to get up.

“I wish,” he hummed as he closed his eyes in relaxation. “But I’d rather be doing something else,” he said, startling you when he jumped fully onto the bed and straddled you, leaning down to plant kisses on your neck. You giggled at the small tingles you felt from his lips on your skin and brought your hand around his neck, and gently tugged on his hair.

“Carl, stop!,” you accidentally yelled when he unexpectedly tickled your side. He laughed at your little outburst, removing his lips from your neck to look up at you, which only made you laugh along with him.

Finally, after the laughter died down, he untangled from you and moved to the end of the bed, leaving room for you to get out from underneath the covers. “Alright, come on. We gotta go,” he said as he gently slapped your thigh.

“Ugh, fine,” you groaned, slowly removing the comforter from your body and sliding out of the bed. You and Carl had been dating for over two years and were more than comfortable with each other, so it wasn’t surprising when he didn’t leave the room for you to change.

You shuffled through your drawer in his dresser, pulling out a long sleeve sweatshirt and a pair of jeans since it was starting to get cold out, but also to keep the scar above your wrist hidden. You’d always tried to conceal it from Carl, so he wouldn’t ask any questions since your past was really hard for you to talk about. You rested your thumb over the spot the mark would’ve been on your sleeve, but stopped when Carl’s feet shifted on the floor. Once you were dressed, you put on your boots, quickly ran your fingers through your hair and looked at Carl as a signal that you were ready to go.

You reached out your hand to Carl to get him up from his spot on the bed, which he gladly took and you headed out.

You walked towards the gates of Alexandria, hand intertwined with Carl’s the whole way there. You looked up at the sky to see a dull, gray blanket of clouds foreshadowing rain.

Once you got closer to your destination, you saw all the other members of the community gathered around, shaking hands with someone whose face you couldn’t see through the crowd of people. When you reached the group, you were greeted by some of the others : Rick, Michonne, Maggie, and Daryl. The others continued to talk and mingle with each other and the new arrival. But finally, after about 15 minutes most of the people had cleared out and you could finally see who the new guest was.

Your jaw dropped when you saw him. The dark, brown hair, blue eyes. You tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t who you thought it was, it couldn’t possibly be him. You tried to assure yourself that he just looked really similar, until you looked at his eyebrow. And there it was, he had the same cut on his eyebrow that you remembered. Instantly, your stomach felt like it dropped to the ground and you felt your grip tighten tremendously around Carl’s hand.

“Geez, Y/n!,” he exclaimed, looking over to you. “Are you okay?” His voice shocked you out of your trans but you didn’t take your eyes off of him.

“Y-yeah. I’m fine,” you stuttered, still completely terrified at the sight before you. You couldn’t remember the last time you had seen him but the awful memories still burned fresh in your mind. You even still had some of the scars he left behind. You started to ruffle your sweatshirt sleeve just above your wrist, thinking of the mark you still have there. You knew you couldn’t face him. You just couldn’t handle getting that close to him, not after what he did to you. “Actually, I don’t feel good. I’m gonna go back and lay down,” you told Carl, not even giving him a chance to respond before taking off down the street.

However you did look back, still unable to process that he was actually there. But when you turned your head the first thing you saw was his eyes locked on yours, drilling holes into your head. As soon as you saw his menacing eyes you turned around and didn’t look back. You jogged all the way back to the Grimes’ house, went straight up the stairs, and locked yourself in Carl’s room. You paced across the room, ruffling your hands through your hair, still trying to comprehend what had happened.

———-

“There you are,” you hear a voice and approaching footsteps. You look up to meet Carl’s eyes and instantly regret it. You knew you probably looked like utter crap from crying and sitting out in the rain for so long, but you didn’t care. All you wanted was for him to be gone, out of your life for good so he couldn’t cause you any more pain, mentally or physically.

“Holy shit, y/n, are you okay?,” Carl exclaims, dashing over to you and crouching on the ground, holding your shoulders for comfort. All you could do was shake your head at him slowly, too drained to do anything else.

“How long have you been out here?,” he questions, gently brushing your wet hair out of your face. You just shrug, honestly not knowing how long you’d been sitting outside. He sighs in frustration, clearly from not understanding why you were out here, all alone, sitting in the pouring rain. “It’s okay. I got you,” he grunts, sweeping his arms under your legs and back and lifting you off of the grass. You wrap your arm around his neck for support and rest your head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat, the only thing that could calm your mind in this moment.

You begin to focus on the steady, rhythmic thump of his heart, letting it relax you as he carries you to his house. You almost fall asleep during the walk, exhausted from all the anxiety that had taken hold of your mind over the last few hours. But now you actually felt some sort of weight lifted from your chest, relief that you might not have to worry, at least for a little while.

Carl brings you back to his house, gently placing you on the kitchen counter once you were inside. You began to shiver, your damp clothes and hair sticking to your skin. Carl quickly notices and leaves the room, you assume to get you a towel or blanket. He quickly returns with a large, blue blanket and wraps it around your body. He then hugs you to him and begins to run his hands along your arms to warm you up. He continued this motion for several minutes before stopping to ask if you were warm yet. You nod, just barely moving your head.

“Y/n, what’s going on?,” he finally asks quietly, looking deeply into your tired eyes. You shift uncomfortably on the counter, reluctant to tell him about your past. What would he think of you if you told him? Would he do something irrational? Out of anger or hate? Could you even gather the strength to talk about it again? You took a deep breath, becoming overwhelmed again.

“Babe, please just talk to me. You can’t just leave me in the dark here,” he begs, his hand resting on your shoulder. You self consciously fumble with your sleeve, careful not to reveal the scar underneath.

“Why do you always do that?,” he abruptly asks, looking down at your hand on your arm. You quickly bring your attention to him, feeling a knot form in your stomach at his question. He looks back up at you, expecting an answer.

“I-I don’t know,” you tell him honestly. You actually don’t know why you always found yourself messing with the area, it was just something you’d always done. “I just…I don’t know, Carl,” you add, looking down, trying to refrain from crying again.

“You gotta talk to me,” he soothes, placing a hand on your cheek. “I can’t just stand here and watch you in pain,” he sighs.

“Okay, okay,” you sniffle. “I-I’ll tell you.”

Summary: Reader plans to leave Alexandria but their relationship with Carl makes things complicated and they must make the decision of wether to stay or go.

Work Count: 1,688

Pairing: Carl x Reader

Warnings: none

A/n: Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I’ve been busy with work and school assignments. I also haven’t had that much inspiration lately which kinda sucks but I’ve wanted to write this fix for a while and I finally did. Hope you like it. Also thinking of doing a part 2 to this but I don’t know… _______________

You want him dead, to pay for what he did and what he will do if he isn’t stopped. You want him to understand the bone-crushing pain you felt when he ripped them away from you forever, crushing their skulls like it was nothing.

This has been going on for far too long and no one is doing anything to stop it. Even after all the innocent lives he’s taken. You’ve had enough. You’re done with the continuous insults, the threats, the stealing, the murders. It needs to end before you and the other people of Alexandria lose everything, including each other.

He will take and take and take, until there is absolutely nothing left to take and no one left to fight. He will keep going until every spirit is crushed, every can has been emptied, every bone has been broken. And you wouldn’t stop until you and everyone else had justice. ______________

You lean in to kiss him, letting your lips linger for a little longer than normal. You couldn’t help but lengthen the kiss as it was probably going to be the very last time you would ever feel his lips against yours. But you realized you were blowing your cover when suddenly, he pulls away, breaking the kiss with a look of confusion.

“Are you okay?,” be asks as he runs his hands gently up and down your arms, his usual gesture for comforting you, just one of the many things that you may never feel again.

“Yeah, I’m fine, Carl,” you try your best to sound reassuring, however you can tell he doesn’t fully believe you when he gives you a look.

“Just tell me,” he nudges. “Whatever it is we’ll get through it,” he says and nods, now rubbing his thumbs on either side of your arms. When you look down into your lap, he knows something isn’t right. He knows you all too well; he’s figured out your planning to do something that won’t end well and his conclusion is correct.

“Y/n, what are you thinking?,” he asks in a rushed tone. Right then, you knew you shouldn’t have kissed him for that long because now it was backfiring on you. You were just so defeated at the thought of leaving him behind that you just wanted one last goodbye, one final kiss. However, our silence only makes him more anxious.

“Whatever you’re thinking of d-doing, don’t,” he stammers, becoming frustrated from being left in the dark. “Please, Y/n..,” he adds, his eyes searching your own for any sign of hope that you won’t go through with what you were planning.

“Carl…I’m…I’m leaving. And I needed to say goodbye,” you finally admit to him. As you expected, he didn’t take the news well and the anger and confusion became evident on his face. To distance yourself, you quickly got up from the bed and took a step backwards towards the door.

“Leaving? Why? Why on earth would you leave Alexandria?,” he interrogated. “Do I not mean anything t-,” he tried to continue but you cut him off as he was taking it the complete wrong way.

“How could you even think that? You mean the world to me, Carl!,” you exclaim.

“Clearly not if you were just gonna up and leave without telling me! What the hell were you thinking, Y/n?,” he says, raising his voice, but you don’t blame him. It’s your fault for coming to see him in the first place and you hated having to tell him you were going away. These thoughts began to make tears form in your eyes.

“You wouldn’t understand,” you try.

“Understand? You’re right. I don’t understand why you were just going to throw away everything that we had. Everything we’ve made together over the past three years, just out the window!,” he barks back.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m doing this for me!,” you become angry, your tone of voice matching his now.

“Okay,” he says after a moment. The sudden change of his voice takes you by surprise and you look up to see him staring blankly at the ground.

“What?,” you ask, just barely above a whisper.

Now he looks to you with a calm but sad expression. “I said okay. You can go if that’s what will make you happy,” he confirms.

“Carl, I-,” he cuts you off.

“Just know, that you are…the best thing that had ever happened to me. And I love you. No matter what happens.”

“Carl, I love you with all my heart, always will. You need to understand that I’m not going because I don’t love you, I’m going because I do. I know that that probably doesn’t make any sense but it’s all I can say,” you explain, hoping to give him a little closure of the whole situation.

“Tell me what you’re doing. You owe me at least that,” he says calmly.

For a second, you debate wether or not to tell him but ultimately decided that it’s only fair that he knows, even if you know he’ll try to talk you out of it.

“I’m going to kill Negan,” you announce confidently.

“God damnit, Y/n,” he says in frustration as soon as the words leave your lips. He shoots up from his spot on the bed and begins to pace around the room. You know he’s starting to get angry again but you can’t let it stop you from completing your mission.

“I have to do this,” you declare. “I can’t just stand by and watch! And besides, one day you’ll forget all about me. You’ll find someone new,” you state, trying not to sound too solemn.

“You are my world, Y/n,” he yells, grabbing your shoulders firmly and shaking you which takes you completely by surprise. “Don’t you get that?,” he whispers, leaning his head down slightly. All you can do is stare at him in shock as his body shadows over yours; you’ve never seen him this way before, so worked up. You’ve never seen him hurt so much because of you and it only makes you feel worse knowing you’re the cause of his distress.

“Y/n, please say don’t do this,” he finally begs, breaking the silence. You try your hardest to muster the courage to speak to him but you realize you won’t be able to when you can’t even bring yourself to look him in his beautiful grey eyes. The only thing you can do is slowly slide your body down the closest wall, trying to keep more tears from falling. You hear him sigh in frustration from where he stands above you, which only breaks your heart even more.

You feel so helpless that you wish you could leave your body and be somewhere else, anywhere but here so you don’t have to face him. But you know you’ll have to eventually. You sit on the floor, your knees bent to your chest and your head resting against the wall, your heart beating so loud from trying not to break down in front of him. You know once you let the first tear fall it will trigger the rest like the first drop of rain at the beginning of a storm.

Finally, and it makes you jump at his sudden movement, he removes himself from the wall, slowly treads toward the door, and leaves, slamming the door behind him. And as soon as the lock clicks the waterfall of tears begins to stream down your cheeks. You sob uncontrollably, trying desperately to hold back the sounds of your cries by holding your hands over your mouth, but end up failing. Eventually, you give up and drop your arms to your sides on the floor and just let yourself cry it out. You cry until you physically can’t produce any more tears and just let them dry on your face, not caring to even try to wipe them away.

Your mind starts to swim with old memories of him: your “first date” where he took you into the woods for a picnic, the time you stayed up all night reading each other’s favorite comics, the first time he said “I love you”. Everything comes flooding in at once, leaving you wishing you could erase the last two hours, wishing you could go back and have him here to hold you and tell you things were going to be okay.

You run your fingers through your hair and rest them at the back of your head, trying to imagine any possible way you could fix this and make things better. After what feels like hours, you realize there is no other way. You have to go through with it, for them: the people of Alexandria, for Carl. So that he can find someone else to grow old with and have a family one day. So he can live and survive. So he can be compensated for all the wrongs Negan has done, so he can have justice.

_____________

You sling your bag over the shoulder and head out into the dark night with nothing but the stars and a small flashlight to guide you. You creep behind the row of houses, careful to not be seen.

Your bag weighs you down a bit but you keep going, the thought of everyone’s futures the only thing keeping you going. The bag had enough food for a few days, you packed extra since you were heading to the Sanctuary on foot, two bottles of water, and a shit ton of weapons. You packed most of the weapons you’d collected through the years and all the ammo you’d need to take out Negan’s men.

You continue to sneak until you get close enough to the gate. Suddenly, you hear a pair of footsteps behind you. You look out into the darkness but see nothing, not until his shoes enter the illuminated circle you create with your flashlight. You quickly shine the light from his brown boots to his pale face, topped with the hat his dad gave him.

Request: hmm what about a carl x reader when a very cheery and happy reader is new to alexandria then she meets judith and she talks about her little sister and family as if they were still alive?

Word Count: 1,380

Pairing: Carl x Reader

A/n: I’m sorry this took so long for me to post. I’ve been sick and then I got really busy so sorry about the wait but I still hope you guys enjoy. Also the gif I chose is really big and I don’t know why? Edit: ok the gif was being rlly glitchy and it shows up on my laptop but not on mobile idk what happened, so sorry if you can't see it!

Warnings: none, slight fluff

—————

You stare above at the dark woman standing tall, her gun held tightly, as she watches you from the top of the large gate guarding what you assume is a community. You wait patiently, your face muddy and wet from the falling rain that’s lasted the last couple of days. You look up at the black clouds that have loomed in the sky for the last week and feel the mud squish inside your boots but somehow, you still find a way to smile. You don’t know how or why you smile, but you do. You’ve been this way your entire life, happy without a care for what’s happening around you.  

Finally, the woman disappears and seconds later, the large gate opens revealing a man with a scruffy beard wearing a brown, button-up, jeans and boots, and a dark skinned woman with dreads and a samurai sword. Your body tenses at the sight of it, thinking about how easily she could cut you in half with it, but it doesn’t keep you from losing your smile.

The man ushers you to step inside the walls so he can re-close the gate, and you do as you were signaled. You briefly walk towards them and wait for the man to return so you can introduce yourself, not letting your fear overcome you.

Once the man stands in front of you along with the woman, you reach out your hand and state your name. “Mady Wilson. Nice to meet you.”

The man stares at you for a moment with a look of shock but eventually shakes your hand skeptically. “Rick,” he says, “Rick Grimes.” Without a second glance, the woman follows Rick’s actions and reaches her hand out to you.

“I’m Michonne,” she says calmly before retracting her hand. 

Before anything else can happen, Rick starts with three questions: How many walkers have you killed? How many people? And why?

“Lost count. Two. And..they were trying to kill me,” you answer shortly but sweet.

It takes a minute for Rick to consider your answers before he lets his guard down a bit and smiles. “Welcome to Alexandria,” he says coarsely, his voice very deep and rough. “Lemme show you where you can stay tonight,” he adds as he begins to walk down the street. You smile and follow as he and the Michonne walk side by side, making sure to keep a little distance between you and them.

As you walk, Rick is silent and Michonne takes this as her moment to ask some questions, which you don’t really mind. 

“So, how old are you?,” she asks without turning back to look at you.

“Uh, I’m eighteen,” you reply happily.

“How long have you been out there?”

“Ummmm, probably…two months, maybe three. Not too long.”

“So I assume you know how to fight? Out there, that’s long enough for you to have learned,” she concludes.

“Yea, I’d say I’m a decent fighter. I’m also good with guns and knives,” you add and she nods in approval. 

“Good,” is all she says.

Once the interrogation is over, you finally reach a cute, two-story house with green shutters. Rick walks up the porch and opens the door, and ushers you to follow. You walk inside and the house is dead silent, peaceful. Michonne heads up the stairs and Rick shows you to your room and gives you a towel to shower with. He tells you to clean up and then you can explore the community for yourself. You decide to do just that. 

Once you clean up, you head back downstairs hearing a new, different sound. A sound you haven’t heard in so long you thought you’d never hear it again: the sound of a baby giggling. 

You race down the stairs to find the source of the noise. When you reach the bottom you are shocked to actually see a small child playing with a kid who looks about your age. Your sudden rush startled him and he turns to you, probably unaware of why you’re in his house. 

“Uh, hey. I’m Mady. I’m new here,” you explain to him and his confused expression fades. “Uh, Rick told me this is where I’d be staying…”

“Oh, yeah. Rick’s my dad. He said we’d be sharing the house with a new member. Guess that’s you,” he says with a smile while reaching out to you.

You take his hand with a grin. “I’m Carl, by the way,” he adds. 

Completely forgetting why you came downstairs in the first place, you are reminded when you see the little girl playing on the floor behind Carl.

“Oh my god! I haven’t seen a kid in so long. She’s adorable! Can I hold her?,” you bounce with joy and excitement at seeing such a small human as she giggles on the floor. He quickly smiles, picks her up, and hands her over.

“Yea, her name’s Judith. She’s my sister,” Carl says, chuckling at just how excited you are to see a child. A moment passes and you just play with her fingers and make funny faces until Carl breaks your trance. 

“Hey, Y/n?,” he grabs your attention cautiously. 

“Yea?,” you smile, tearing your attention from Judith. 

“Do you have any family? Or did you…before?,” he questions with a nervous tone, trying not to offend you.

“Oh, yeah. I have a sister, Amanda. Judith actually reminds me of her when she was younger. She had light blonde, curly hair and blue eyes like her. Anyway, she’s great. Really full of adventure and wonder; probably where I get it from,” you ramble with a laugh, “She’s amazing. When I was little, I was scared of storms and she used to come in my room to keep me company. Oh! There’s also my mom. She’s always been really protective of me and Amanda. Before, she never let us go out with guys or stay out past 9:00,” you continue, smiling at how different things were before. “ It’s always been just her, Amanda and I,” you continue, the burning image of you, Amanda, and your mom on your old couch eating popcorn during movie nights still fresh in your mind.

“What about your dad?,” he asks, completely unfazed by how long you had just been talking. You like that he didn’t mind your rambling. 

“Never really knew him,” you say and shrug. “He wasn’t around much when I was born and one day he stopped coming around. I guess my mom didn’t care to tell me and Amanda what happened between them and I was never brave enough to ask,” you finish.

“Anyone else?,” Carl inquires. You shake your head and shrug. 

“Nope. That’s it.” A few more moments of silence pass and you begin to play with Judith again but the innocent moment doesn’t last long before Carl asks another question.

“Where is she? Why isn’t she here with you? I mean, I don’t mean to pry or anything it’s just-,” he explains worriedly before you cut him off.

“Carl, it’s okay. You’re not prying, it’s fine,” you reassure him before continuing. “But she is, with me, I mean. Both of them are,” you begin as you walk over to him, Judith still in your arms, and take his hand and place it over your heart. “They’re right here, always. Just like everyone you’ve ever lost is right here,” you finish, while moving his hand from your chest to his own.