seeds i've sown.

 𝐈𝐓'𝐒   𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇   𝐀   𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐌   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐉𝐀𝐒𝐎𝐍   𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐃𝐎𝐎𝐑  ,   the   doorknob   reverberating   (   once  ,   twice   )   off   the   wall  .   he   takes   no   notice  ,   stomping   angrily   into   the   room  .   in   the   back   of   his   mind  ,   his   childhood   therapist   sighs  .   take   deep   breaths  ,   she   always   told   him  ,   count   to   a   hundred  .   he’d   scoffed   then  ,   and   he   does   the   same   now  .   anger   is   GOOD  .   better   than   being   hurt  ,   better   than   being   scared  .   and   he   is   scared   now  ,   a   little   .   jakub   is   a   good   investigator  ,   as   loathe   as   he   is   to   admit   it  .   good   enough   to   solve   this   case  ,   maybe  ,   when   so   far   jason   hasn’t   been  .   and   it’s   not   a   competition   –   at   least  ,   it   shouldn’t   be  .   what   matters   is   that   the   case   is   solved   –   but   isn’t   it  ,   kind   of  ?   one   he’s   losing  .          ❛           carlebach  ,          ❜          he   says  ,   palms   slamming   against   the   man’s   desk  ,          ❛          you’ve   been   sniffing   around   my   crime   scene   again  .          ❜                          / /                          @carlebach​  .

                          THE  DAY  HAD  GONE  AS  WELL  AS  IT  COULD  HAVE  .     well . until now . though , perhaps there was a silver lining to be found in the  ...  annoyingly noted dint in his drywall . jason’s on the warpath   ...   no change there , that underlying irritation something that has jakub’s mouth practically twitching at the corners . and while the room stills with the slap of palms against varnished wood , jakub simply continues what he was doing   ----   tidying away his work , hands idling every so often when jason gives a hint of movement .

a private investigator , eh ? xavier had a bit of insight , and he was thoughtfully intrigued . such a valiant affair , but would it last , he wondered . he had crept upon the other’s study , because it was blatant and rather troubling how easily accessible it was . as someone who was snooping the tropes , surely jakub would find something a bit more secluded . 

“ you seem stressed , my troubles are insignificant until i can help you help yourself . after all , residing in this town is enough excessive baggage for us all , let alone the mystery of our missing own falling upon ourselves . i feel for you , what will ease your thoughts ? ”

                          STRANGER SPEAKS LIKE A POET    ---    and jakub is reminded on how , within most met , there is something to fall in love with .  his fingers move as he thinks this , piling up notes and photographs, and putting them away carefully within the bottom drawer of his desk with the turn of a key . only then, does his attention settle upon this   ...   oddly emphatic creature , and his lips pull into that of a tired smile .

– “HELLO JAKUB,” SHE GREETS, STEPPING OUT FROM THE SHADOWS. she’s already made herself familiar with him, following him discreetly on the streets, trying to assess whether he was incompetent or a real threat to everything she was trying to build. with the missing persons roster she’d stacked up, concerned parents and friends had sought out help in a number of ways. most of the time it was the police – police who were generously incompetent. jakub on the other hand…well, he didn’t adhere to the same bureaucracy. lips curl into a sweet smile as she comfortably sits herself on the edge of his desk, as if she’s an old friend. “i’m actually here to help with your workload a little bit,” she offers, hair framing her face in a way that would be almost angelic if her smile weren’t so WICKED.

victoria runs red fingertips across the files on his desk, stopping when a certain names grabs her attention. “i think we can resolve this pretty rationally, don’t you?” she smiles sweetly down at him, “quid pro quo. you stop poking your nose in places where it doesn’t belong, and i’ll make sure you don’t get hurt for it.” 

                          THE  SCENT  CARRIED  WITH  HER  HITS  HIM  LIKE  A  TRUCK  .   through the invasive smells of coffee and printer ink  ,  beneath whatever clothing had steadily masked   ---   there was very little denial on the correlation between this  ...  and whatever tiny scrap had sat beneath blood spatters and struggle marks .   so . he was in danger   ---  and she seemed the type to play with her food .     “  Y’KNOW   ...   there’s a chair  right  there  .  ”     and yet he didn’t find the drive in him to muster up any sort of fear    ---   he’d escaped death once , only to turn into this . perhaps a second time wouldn’t be so bad .   still   ...  he was getting ahead of himself .

“   𝐘𝐎𝐔  .  𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄  𝐌𝐘  problem  .  ”  sabrina  held  a  tattered  envelop  in  her  hand  ,  opened  &  closed  so  many  times  that  it  was  beginning  to  tear  .  stained  by  tears  that  weren’t  hers  ,  &  if  you  listened  close  enough  ,  she  would  swear  she  could  hear  the  hours  of  brutal  screams  between  her  friend  &  soon  to  be  ex  husband  .  (  she  never  liked  the  guy  much  ,  &  she’d  made  it  awfully  clear  through  her  blatant  show  of  rudeness  ,  but  she’d  never  pegged  him  for  the  nasty  type  -  not  with  his  below  average  pay  check  &  barely  good  looking  looks  )  .

boots  hit  the  floor  with  a  steady  rhythm  ,  oomf  ,  to  smack  the  envelop  on  his  desk  .  “  i’m  curious  :  are  all  private  investigators  assholes  ?  or  do  you  guys  genuinely  get  a  kick  out  of  throwing  people’s  lives  in  shambles  ?  ”  palms  flat  against  mahogany  ,  she  glares  through  her  skull  ,  fingers  twitching  into  fists  .

                          WELL  .  THIS  WASN’T  EXACTLY  A  NEW  SITUATION  .   the headache that accompanied it had his fingers itch for the whiskey in his bottom drawer to thin out the mulch he’d been calling coffee   ----  but he refrains . no , instead , jakub’s eyes stay steady on the young woman who  ...  quite frankly , was likely to earn him  ..  another ..  noise complaint ;  while hands reach out to the envelope to turn it in his palms .

                          instead , the only council to be found was wholly inappropriate   ---   the silhouette behind glass panelled door of his office  -  slash  -  apartment had entered by now , forcing jakub’s eyes from his laptop & requiring him to   PULL  HIMSELF  TOGETHER  .    he  attempts  a  smile  .

 it’d  been  a  rather  slow  day  at  work  –  not  many  people  needing  to  go  to  a  bookshop  early  in  the  morning  –  but  that  was  fine  with  leah.  it  gave  her  time  to  herself,  and  she  didn’t  have  to  deal  with  so  many  people  like  she  did  at  the  bar  (  the  only  reason  she  tolerated  it  so  much  was  because  the  pay  was  great,  and  she  got  along  well  with  the  manager  who  let  her  go  off  on  shitty  customers  whenever  she  wanted  ).

 she’d  just  started  rearranging  some  displays  behind  the  front  counter  –  perched  tall  on  a  step  ladder  –  as  gentle  thrums  of  some  nameless,  indie  cover  band  played  in  the  background  when  the  trill  of  the  front  door  bell  set  off  behind  her  back.  ❝  shit,  ❞  leah  cursed  lowly  to  herself  as  she  quickly  made  to  jump  off  from  her  perch,  ❝  sorry.  how  can  i  help  you?  ❞  she  added,  her  voice  rising  to  address  the  new  arrival  as  she  spun  around  to  meet  them.  

                          HE’S  ALWAYS  LIKED  TO  BE  AWARE     of where he had found himself living .  though recently  ,  there had been far too much of a demand of his time for him to properly acquaint himself with a staple of each type of store . a few big chain bookstores crossed off his list later , and jakub had followed his phone here  --  until his nose had perked and led him the rest of the way . he knew about secrecy , but he knew seattle was some form of hot - spot for   ...  whatever the hell this collection of new scents belonged to . still . manners were a must , and curiosity was swallowed .

                                                 TRAIT BREAKDOWN: PART ONE. DEVOTED.  ---  THE PUREST EXPRESSION OF GRIEF.

he has seen you in his dreams ;  and he says he sees you in his future . his past has led to you , in some wild way  ---  and he shall take your hand and ground you for as long as you shall allow him . he says he has two hands , one to hold himself down and one to pick you up . he says he has two shoulders , too . one to weep upon , and another to sleep against . he sleeps well and deep when he is beside you ; and you know you are not the first he has said all this to . there is a sad poetry to how his heart openly bleeds .

EASILY-MANIPULATED.  ---  I’VE NO LANGUAGE LEFT TO SAY IT.

                                ⧼ gregg sulkin, nonbinary, he/him & they/them / arsonist’s lullaby , hozier + the ruffle of papers by a window you SWORE you had shut a moment prior ; the soft shiver down your spine from a lover’s aching gaze & the anger that sits in your hollowed out bones, space made for feelings your body can barely house. ⧽ ━━ don’t look now, but that’s jakub carlebach. the twenty-six year old child of the moon has been here in seattle for three months, and is a considered to be a nomad. they’ve always been devoted & observant, but i guess this town just brings out the worst in people ; apparently, they’ve been way more easily-manipulated & stubborn than usual. it wouldn’t surprise me if they knew what was going on.