i have a request for autistic reader if youāre interested?! reader being on the verge of a meltdown/coming out of one and needing deep pressure to help her calm down. maybe he starts by squeezing her hands and when thy doesnāt work he tries to hug her tightly instead and in the end the only thing that works is him lying on top of herš¤š¤feel free to ignore this if you donāt like it! iām autistic myself and have lots of ideas for fics hehe
I love my autistic kings and queens/ anyone else in between!! i am soooo interested in anymore requests that you have since this was such a fun one to write į°į©
°āā.ą³ąæ*:d°āā.ą³ąæ*:d
autistic!reader x softdom!rafe
Authors note: I am not trying to infantilise autism! i just simply want people to feel seen and heard.
Cutest strawberry divider from @strangergraphics!!
Warnings: majority fluff (we lovee) crying, overstimulation.
Your bike is a faded pink from the sun, screeching lightly as you stop in front of Tannyhill. itās looks out of place in comparison to Rafeās dark BMW parked lazily at the large front gate, the overly fancy, pearly white steps and perfectly tamed greenery surrounding the entrance.
You set it down gently, sniffling before you even make it into the house.
Tannyhill is nothing short of a safe space for you, a place that you could feel any emotion unapologetically without public stares. Youād been suppressing the feeling of dread that had been plaguing you all day, sweaty palms and an undeniable sinking feel in your chest- it had been too much public interaction, closing crowds in the town, then someone had bumped into you. A man, followed by his rowdy group of friends. It was small, hard but still somewhat subtle, but the way they laughed when you flinched, exchanging looks and shouting crude comments as they passed.
ā yābetter watch where youāre going bitch.ā
The door clicks behind you as you walk in, lacking your usual playful skip or whistly saunter.
Your breath is already heavy, eyes glassy and cheeks damp. Your little mary janeās pad on the marble floors as you search for Rafe; first the dining room, then his room, then the balcony where you usually found him smoking a joint. but to no avail.
Itās only when you hear his voice, loud and amused from his fatherās study, that you whimper slightly, just at the thought of his presence being close. His words get clearer as you get closer, you stop at the doorway when you approach, despite the way you had been longing for him the whole day.
āHoly shit.ā he chuckles deeply, phone held up to his ear as he paces his office absentmindedly in conversation. Youāre small in the doorway, leant against the side, lip trembling, and tears falling before you can stop them.
He spots you instantly, your indescribable sweet perfume too fragrant and familiar to miss. He turns, smiling before catching your expression. His expression darkens, smirk falling faster then it had appeared.
āYo Top, Iām gonna have to go.ā He doesnāt wait for a response, Toppers muffled voice cutting out as he throws the phone to the desk.
Heās by your side in two strides, hands on your cheeks. āBaby, what happened?ā his voice is deep and concerned, but the way he sounds like heās already ready to punch someone for you is horrifyingly comforting.
You shake your head, unable to answer. You fall into his chest, hands over your face, knees practically buckling.
āCome sit baby.ā he commands gently, pulling you over to the living room and out of the cold study, still wrapped up tight in his arms somehow.
He pulls you till youāre in his lap on the beige leather couch, arms tight around your waist. āYāgotta tell me whats wrong.ā
His voice is low, but you canāt concentrate.
You felt like you were going to pass out, but not in the dizzy way, just the way your body felt limp and numb, like you had no control, no pressure holding you down to earth.
You sniffle, pulling back. āC-can you just hold me please?ā you mumble, eyes closed as you concentrate on what youāre trying to explain.
His brows furrow, but his eyes soften. āSure baby.ā he mutters, already pulling you back into him, arms tight around you. Itās like a momentary relief, to feel so tight and squished against him, but itās not enough.
You sob again, too exhausted and upset, but itās not helping. You pull back again, looking up at him desperately. āNo like-ā you close your eyes, whining softly. āTight.ā you felt horribly indirect, but you didnāt know how to word it, how to describe to him what it was like to not even know what you wanted yourself.
He nods, trying to understand, hand on your cheek. āI donāt wanna hurt you baby-ā he whispers, but you shake your head, sobbing again.
āI donāt care, y- you wonāt.ā
He nods again, taking your noticeably trembling hands in his, he squeezes tightly, but still, not tight enough. He watches your every reaction, the way youāre still sobbing, tears falling and lips pouted. He pulls you into him again, your head under his chin, tanged legs deadweight on his thighs.
His arms are strong, grounding but itās still not fixing the aching like discomfort that wonāt go away. āBetter?ā he whispers hopefully into your hair, neck straining to see your face.
You sit up, hands clinging desperately to his neck. you shake your head, eyes flickering to a close. āOh baby-ā he mutters, holding your waist, stroking the hair from your eyes.
He knew that you couldnāt calm down like most people did, but now, he felt totally helpless. āWhat can I-ā he hesitates, you sniffle.
āLay on me.ā you say, pulling at his neck, his brows furrow, but he lets you pull him down gently. āIāll hurt you-ā he mutters nervously, you donāt speak.
Itās only when he finally lands on you with a grunt that a wave of comfort and warmth fills the overwhelmingly empty void- his broad weight all warm and crushing.
You sigh instantly, all shaky and whiny. You donāt dare move your legs from beneath him, your small uneasy body completely covered by his muscly limbs. You stay quiet for a moment, simply to taking in the way the pressure against your body evens out as he sinks into you further.
āBetter.ā you hum into his neck, still sniffly but overall calmer.
āYeah?ā he replies breathily, eyes closing and nose all nuzzled in your hair, the sweet, strawberry scent of your shampoo filling his nose like it always does.
He caresses your cheek with his thumb, but you pull away with gentle defiance. you were too overwhelmed for anything else right now, still recovering from your meltdown. āNot yet.ā you whisper, eyes closed as you revel in the ecstasy of relief, just his body on yours. He chuckles quietly, āAlright baby.ā
Later, youāre practically asleep beneath him, nuzzling into his neck absentmindedly with little sniffles and hiccups. Heās melted into you, satisfied with whatever silent exchange this was. this wasnāt about him, but he was humoured by how much he had started to understand your quirks, especially by the way you were both joined in an almost sync like state of peacefulness and bodily warmth. It was like helping you helped him in ways heād never admit.