everything sucks and im tired

I was about to say “how do you know someone has done that unless it’s you, OP” but then I recognized the name and I went on twitter to check and sure enough he was my creative writing professor in college

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car

I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.

You fool, that was Arby himself.

I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

The kids are right Jazz

But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

this is because the writers of korra have a condition peculiar to authors where they are unaware of adult occupations other than “schoolteacher” or “cop”. i call it “jk rowling disease”

Pour water on the sun Get rid of that big yellow blinding orb of despair

cant get over the fact that the mandalorian has very little plot and is literally just sexy space cowboy single dad pedro pascal flying around doing freelancing gigs for gas money to protect his 50 year old green son who is an infant. star wars has peaked

i wish i could be brave like brave from disneys brave but instead i am coward from real life

im rattatooie from the kitchen