An Expression of Feeling
I wish I could tell him how much he means to me and how lucky I am to have him in my life. I wish I could tell him that as much as I love having him as a friend, my feelings go beyond that. I wish he knew how much it means to me that he makes me laugh and feel alive. I wish he knew how long I've felt this way. But he can't know, because he won't feel the same. I'm just that weird, serious friend who isn't really very significant. So, even though every moment I hold my silence kills me inside just a little bit more, I'll carry on in silence, hiding my pain behind a smile. Because watching time go by and knowing our lives are going separate ways soon if I continue to stay silent hurts. I can't lose him... but I don't think I can keep him, either. Sometimes I think I might have a chance, but then those moments are eclipsed by the ones where I feel invisible once more. My heart hurts, and I don't know what to do. I want to break down and cry, because he likely will never know how I truly feel.
