inimitable appurtenances

#BlueJays Woman (with apols to Gretchen)

Well I ain't never been the selfie-stick type No I can't swig that Barefoot wine, I'd rather drink Bud Lite Lime In a tavern or on a Go Train or on a ten-game stand in May I've got posters on my wall of Stroman, Doc and Ace Row 30 looks down on me, but I don't give two rips I'll stand upright in my front row seat with cusswords on my lips

'Cause I'm a Blue Jays woman I ain't no high class broad I'm just a product of two cultures and I say 'take off' and 'tais toi' And I use my season tickets as bookmarks all year long And I know all the words to every batter's walk-up song So here's to all my sisters reading BB-Ref with me Let me hear a "fuck that guy" from the Blue Jays girls like me, hell yeah

Victoria's Pink line, well their stuff's much too flash But I can buy the same damn thing in November for less cash And still look branded, just as branded as those models on MLB No, I don't need no sequined top to catch foul balls aimed at me Well you might think I'm too loud, the wave dies here for sure But in my neck of Tumblr I'm just the girl next door

'Cause I'm a Blue Jays woman I ain't no high class broad I'm just a product of two cultures and I say 'take off' and 'tais toi' And I use my season tickets as bookmarks all year long And I know all the words to every pitcher's walk-up song So here's to all my sisters from sea to shining sea Let me hear a "fuck those guys" from the Blue Jays girls like me, hell yeah

Dear #BlueJays season ticket holder. Congratulations on paying money to reserve a strip of post season tickets to games that may or may not happen.

Your purchase requires alot of fine print that you should read. To spare you the zoom and page down stress, here is the very short version of your agreement;

1) Even tho you spent a ton of money to be at these games, you may not tweet, facebook or instagram photos of yourself and/or friends actually at the games. Hell, you’re not even allowed to talk about the games.

2) We, on the other hand, can take as many pictures and videos of you as we like, and use them however we want, and we can give them to who ever we like for ever and ever.

3) NOT SHOWN IN IMAGE ABOVE: You might die. That happens sometimes. /shrug emoji

Stuff I Saw #BlueJays #Mariners May 22 ... Chris Taylor has lovely stirrups. Theth Thmith got no thockth. Dustin Ackley is ready to pounce like a pouncey thing. King Felix, steady as she goes. OHAI Kawasaki, HAI! Goins and Valencia probably need more sugar.