Shark Puppy

i love my misandrist mother i asked her one time if she liked lord of the rings and she said “i’m tired of men going on adventures”

nothing more pathetic than when people just respond to the obviously bigoted "why are all poly people gross and fat?? 🥴" shit with "nuh uh i'm actually poly and i'm thin hottt🥰 [insert 10 selfies]"

if you are being compared to fatties as an insult it might be kind of cool if your immediate kneejerk response was not to agree that we ARE gross and luckily you're NOT one of us

The exact translation is “ale killed us” which is somehow better

"next time, log in faster with fingerprint/face/iris recognition!" how about i keep typing my password like i have for the past 25 years and you fuck off

don’t look at all my lip balms

there are four coasters and you put the coffee cup on a book

don't look at that either

(bravely) tote bags suck!

I just don’t wanna carry a bag that only goes on one arm, I hate being permanently lopsided. but like.  At the same time. I feel like a kid when I wear a backpack. And the backpacks made for adult adults are all ugly. there’s gotta be a better way.