Shark Puppy

a girl at the club spiked my drink with jasmine and a wave of tranquility washed over me

when it really started hitting she watched me gracefully compose myself and then pulled me off into a corner to touch on my thoughts and probe the depths of my insight

woke up the next day with a pounding sense of clarity and and wisdom

Danny Phantom really is a great concept for a comedy horror series. It’s too bad that concept had to enter the world through the mind of Butch Hartman.

Danny Phantom was the first fandom I was ever really active in as in I created theory and fanfic for it and I’ve been mildly disappointed ever since at the lack of vivisection on live subjects in every other internet community.

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

also note this is a PARASITIC infection. most diarrhea-causing pathogens you expect to contaminate your greens are bacteria (e.g. e. coli and salmonella), which are a different domain of organism altogether. cyclospora is a protozoan, which is bigger and more complicated than a bacteria (for reference, malaria is also caused by a protozoan). bacterial diarrhea can be dangerous, but you might also expect to weather it and survive unscathed. do NOT fuck with PARASITIC contamination. you should be scared of this one!

when I see breasts

your email found me at the grocery store irl. that's crazy that you gave it little legs and everything. it walked right up to me. everyone was so scared one person screamed when i picked it up. i said it's okay you just do this kind of thing sometimes. while i was reading, its little legs were just sort of dangling in the air. someone asked me if it's alive and if holding it like that made it uncomfortable. i told them idk i just get the emails i don't send them.

there's something so deeply dystopian to me how tech companies don't understand that a forced convenience is not a convenience at all. i'm sure autocorrect is helpful for many, but a function that forcibly changes my actual written words and punctuation is taking away my language. photo filters can be nice but i need to choose using them myself or else i have lost the ability to take the picture i want. i don't want a machine to draw or write for me. taking away the option for me to do things manually feels like violence!!!! all this talk of endless opportunity, why are you RESTRICTING me

disgustedly throws youtube autodubbing onto the pyre pile

here's a trick for getting this stain out. did you know you can make that dish in batches and it freezes great? that's actually really easy to fix, you only need a screwdriver and a replacement hinge. I can show you if you want. I can't buy you a new one, but maybe this will help. maybe the info will serve you one day. most people don't realize you can ask for a discount on those types of purchases, did you know? here's how I would try. maybe this will save you a little money. I don't have anything else to offer you. I hope it's enough. it's not much, but this'll balance the flavor and make cheap taste fantastic, it's crazy right? I wish I had more to give you. I've heard of that before, here's what someone I know tried. maybe that'll save you some time and worry. you can buy that part and do it yourself, let me take a look. here's what I would do. let's give it a shot. it's ugly, but it works. I hope that fixes it. I hope I made things easier for you.

can you hear the "I love you" between every sentence? if you listen closely, it's repeating over and over and over, every time you keep trying, owing your life a thousand times over to the ones who came before, to the ones surviving alongside you. keep trying, I love you, I hope this helps, I love you, we'll find a way, i love you. in the heartbeats of silence, I love you. there's nothing else I can give you, I love you. this is all I have. I love you.