I REALLY FREAKIN LOVE YOU

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

I’m no better or worse than anyone else.

I deserve the same things in life as anyone else.

I’m a human being.

Right now, I am feeling ________(fill in the blank).

I don’t know how I’ll feel in 5 minutes, or tomorrow.

I can’t predict the future.

Life is full of painful, pleasurable, and boring moments.

“Beating” mental illness is actually the norm, not the exception. Most people who have a major depressive episode never have another one. 80% of people who survive their first suicide attempt never make a second attempt. 93% of Borderline Personality Disorder patients achieve remission. Up to 74% of people with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder achieve significant clinical improvement in their symptoms, and 20% achieve full remission. Half of Generalized Anxiety Disorder patients achieve remission after the acute phase of treatment. Even disorders with relatively low rates of remission - bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoid personality disorder - generally become milder and easier to manage as you age. Psychiatric symptoms tend to peak in your 20s and generally drop off as you get older, especially if you seek treatment. 

This is why the narratives we use to talk about mental illness matter so much. Right now, the dominant narrative is that mental illness is “an imbalance in the brain” and that it’s largely something that people are born with. There are upsides and downsides to this. The upside is that it promotes the idea that mental illness is not the ill person’s fault, and it helps us understand that mental illness can impact anyone, regardless of their life circumstances. The downside, however, is that it’s sort of given us this idea that mental illness is inborn and unchangeable. People have taken on the idea that “that’s just how my brain is”, when the reality is that, for most people, mental illness is less of a stable trait for them, and more of just a shitty thing that they are going through for a little while. The idea that mental illness is just “in your brain” also erases the very real connection between your life circumstances and your mental health - while it’s very true that a wealthy person in a happy marriage can become depressed, it’s also very true that living in poor conditions and being in an abusive marriage can be the cause of depression, and that improving your life circumstances can lessen or eliminate mental health conditions. 

If you have a mental health condition, it’s very important that you not resign yourself to the idea that you’re going to be like this forever. Chances are, you won’t. Even if you have a mental health condition that is associated with low rates of remission, it is possible to make leaps and bounds in your functioning, and to get to a point where managing your condition becomes second nature to you. Our understanding of mental illness is improving every year, and new therapies and treatments are becoming available all the time. If you seek treatment and do your best to manage your condition, you have every reason to believe that you will make huge improvements. 

it’s the kind of addictive behaviour we engage in that doesn’t actually benefit us in any way, such as:

- Reading The Comments

- ruthless discourse that won’t accomplish anything

- checking up on people and topics you shouldn’t

- 90% of body image stuff

- constant stream of devastating news

and so on, and so on!!

there are suddenly far less barriers and boundaries between our hearts and the entire rest of the constant, churning world, and sometimes the only thing holding us back from pointless hurt is our own willpower. that’s not always gonna be enough.

we feel shame for turning off anon, for blocking those who hurt us without giving them a “fair chance” first, for leaving a discussion, for leaving a space, for going offline, for missing out. we keep martyring ourselves, and for what? our hearts are not made for this.

- take stock of just how much time, energy and emotion you pour into something that doesn’t give back, and find out what’s Gotta Go

- “i’m only going to check this thing ONCE a day”, then week, then month, but at that point you probably no longer have a strong compulsion to Check

- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing right before bed, because it will just make it hard to sleep”

- “i’m not going to check this upsetting thing first thing in the morning, because it’ll ruin my whole day”

If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”

please, if you’re really young on tumblr, try not to get swept up in the discourse and the tremendous amount of arguing with strangers that goes on here. i know you probably feel mature for your age but this website, like, really psychologically affects youth, and i encourage you to be cautious about your interactions with people on here

depression memes about wanting to die aren’t a healthy coping mechanism and can lead to worsening symptoms of your own mental health if overindulged in

you are not garbage. or trash. i know these terms are popular on here, but you shouldn’t be calling yourself that. you have everything you need inside of you to become your best self, even if it’s hard to see that

seriously, really don’t trust adults who want to date you. don’t trust adults who call you hot, flirt with you, ask you sexual questions, or ask you for nudes. (that last one is VERY illegal, also, please get help from a trusted non-creepy adult if this happens to you)

the opinions of complete strangers who aren’t interacting with you typically aren’t worth it. move on, use the block button. it’s not worth engaging with people who are going to make you feel awful or unsafe

take breaks from tumblr if it’s getting really stressful for you. talk to friends if you’ve got em, play a videogame or do whatever it is that can take your mind off the massive amounts of Hell on this website

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

[Image: tweet from Heather Lindsaychen (@oceana1009): “Reframing motivation not as an act of will, but a thing that naturally occurs when I am rested, fed, and am taking things at my own slow pace has helped me a lot“]

Hey, here is a nice insight for those beating themselves up for their low motivation.

I’ve noticed recently that I have a mental flinch response every time I consider doing something. Even a really easy pleasant thing, like going for a short walk or getting a snack from the fridge, let alone things like washing the dishes or doing work. I feel an impulse to do the thing and then I immediately shut it down and tell myself “maybe in five minutes”. This seems really bad! And I suspect it’s partially caused by forcing myself to do things, so that now when I consider doing a thing my instinctive response is “no” because I… don’t trust myself about it, if that makes any sense?

So anyway, instead of forcing myself to do things, I’ve been trying out just relaxing and doing what I want and following the random impulses, and it turns out I can 1) have fun, and 2) get decent amounts of work/etc done that way without feeling awful about it! While beating myself up about things pretty directly led to doing even fewer things in the long term, because my brain learned to associate “doing things” with unpleasantness. Don’t make your brain do that, it sucks.

I also want to acknowledge that we can’t always just do whatever we want willy-nilly. But noticing mental flinches (I had characterized them as a mental wall, previously)—and giving thought to what is motivating them—can lead to really useful insights.

In a similar vein is the way we build up small tasks that we’ve been putting off. I don’t know about you, maybe-a-lizard, but I get the same mental flinches with a task that’s been sitting on my to-do list for too long. I’ve realized I’m getting “nope” signals and that if I take a moment to recognize whatever is causing those (guilt, uncertainty about the first step, bad feelings etc.), I can break the current negative associations and move forward into a more constructive place.

I think connecting these things (the mechanics of motivation, mental flinches, and self-reflection) is really powerful and can help a lot when your “get up and go” is more of a “get up and no.”

Just some additional thoughts :)