Call me Roman, Caprine, or Goat! / PROUD WOLF THERIAN / Member of the Rainfang Pack! / kind of a misanthrope, please only interact if you respect nonhumans or if you are nonhuman / Hyacinth Macawkin, Goatkin, Demon!Romankin and Dragonkin! / He/it/pup / Minor / I draw blood and suggestive stuff sometimes but nothing 18+. / Obsessed with the creativitwins /
Before reading any of these, please check the trigger warnings just in case they aren't safe for you to read ❤
Last updated: August 3rd, 2021
-new additions in bold!
Feel free to suggest some fics, just dm me the link! A lot of these may be oneshots so I apologize in advance! The number of chapters will be under the fic descriptions though. If you believe one fic belongs in a different category let me know! I'll gladly change it :)
Canon fics
This is a section dedicated to fics taking place in the canonical Sanders Sides universe and in which Remus is written as he behaves in canon, so no aus or ooc Remus!
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"Please stay"
Patton falls for the person that used to scare him the most.
1/1
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The Things We Say at Four AM
Patton and Remus are just chilling at four am because neither of them can sleep and one of them let's something slip.
1/1
~
Take My Heart Clean Apart
Thomas is pining over someone. He’s heartsick—and Patton’s running a little (okay, a lot) worse for wear over it. Like heck he’ll ever let someone know about it though.
(Someone finds out anyway.)
1/1
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Acceptable behavior
Remus is surprisingly concerned about his boyfriend's boundaries.
1/1
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You Stole The Pillows
Remus steals all the pillows. Patton makes the best of the situation.
1/1
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Line Without a Hook
When Patton's entire world view is challenged--when he doesn't even know who he is supposed to be anymore, help comes from an unexpected source. Maybe things can be okay after all.
1/1
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Stuck With You
(Side note, I respect the fact that you can find Intruality_Overlord on like every platform I've checked 😭 very much worth checking out Moss's stuff!)
Patton and Remus cuddle and banter.
1/1
~
Sweet Pea
Recently, Patton and Remus's relationship has begun to change. When Patton lets a pet name slip by accident, a much-needed conversation takes place.
1/1
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Strawberry band-aids
Remus accidentally hurts himself and Patton takes care of him.
1/1
-
Kiss Goodbye
Patton didn't understand why you would ever kiss someone goodbye, especially if they had just died. Remus tries to explain it to him.
Aka Patton and Remus get into an argument during movie night after everyone else went to bed
1/1
(Caprine's side note: it's not as angsty as the title sounds, I swear)
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Bone Crusher
The first sign that Remus liked him was an actual bright blue octopus sitting in a fishtank in his room when he got back to it one day there was a light green sticky note on the front of the tank that read, in jagged, messy handwriting, “This is Bone Crusher, Lord of Darkness, Destroyer of Worlds, but she is okay with you changing her name -R”
1/1
-
Cookie Jar
Original idea came from @jessibbb on tumblr, they're very nice, check them out for a lot of amazing intruality content! Patton is too short to reach the cookie jar, Remus finds his short boyfriend adorable.
1/1
-
I Love You, It's Disgusting.
Uh-oh. Remus has fallen in love with Patton. How disgusting. He wouldn't have it any other way.
1/1
-
For you, I’ll try
"But wait, maybe he could do just that. Desperately searching for a pen in the drawer where he kept all of his bones, Remus simply allowed for the ideas to flood him, his butt dropping on the nearest chair shaped thing. It was grossly domestic, but there was nothing he couldn’t do, especially when the challenge in question was something Roman enjoyed. Remus could barely hold back his excitement, his smirk wide enough that the ends of his mustache tickled his cheeks.
He was going to create such a cute, lovely story Patton would never want to read any of Roman’s shit ever again."
1/1
[Caprine’s side note] Oh. My. GOD. TALK ABOUT SWEET. I AM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY. JUST LOOK AT IT.
-
AU fics
This is a section dedicated to fics that take place in any kind of au, whether that be a human au or a soulmate au of some kind!
~
Cool Josh
(because I'm a sucker for fake boyfriend fics 😔)
Patton has had a big crush on his best friend Remus for the longest time, but he's not planning to make a move anytime soon. At least he wasn't.
But when Remus needs him to pretend to be his boyfriend, what's a pining gay to do but pretend to be the boyfriend Remus told his dads he had?
1/1
~
The Heat Between Us
Patton doesn’t like to be touched. But maybe he’d be ok if it was Remus touching him.
1/1
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Freak like me
1/1
~
Do You Wanna Build a Pillow Fort
“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!” with intruality
1/1
-
The Long Way Round
Remus doesn't like watching romantic movies, but one of the ones his brother was watching gave him an idea.
1/1
[Caprine’s side note] Fake dating with a twist? I love it. Also the line “You mean the fluffy-haired child development major, who has thighs so thick you would willingly die under them? I might remember you mentioning him once or twice.”
-
Poly fics
This is a section dedicated to fics that involve poly ships!
~
Is it Selfish to Love and Be Loved?
Patton needed advice.
And not the kind of advice that he could find in books or online, no, because there was no way that anyone in all of history had ever been in the situation that Patton was in, right now, it was wholly and utterly unique, which meant that if he wanted advice, he was going to have to get it from another side.
1/1
~
And They Were Roommates
Patton's not in love with Remus. That's ridiculous, they're just roommates. Not to mention, Remus already has a boyfriend.
1/1
[Caprine’s side note] OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES
Peachsneakers oneshots
This is a section dedicated to Peachsneakers! Their intruality oneshots are some of my absolute favorites so I've provided the links to each one of them :)
All of these have 1 chapter, but they're still absolutely worth the read!
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Cookie Misadventures
Patton and Remus bake some cookies.
~
Apple Blossom
Remus needs his hair washed. Patton is up for the job.
~
Black Holes
Remus takes Patton to the imagination.
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To Love Like You
Remus finds out a secret.
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Kittens
Remus gets creative.
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Silent Flavored Popsicles
Remus has a sore throat.
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Cookies for the Soul
Remus has bad days. Patton relates.
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Milkshakes
Remus brings Patton a surprise.
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Made with Love
Remus has a question.
~~~
AU section
~~~
Body Swap
Patton can't wait to meet his soulmate. Remus is convinced he doesn't even have one.
Waking up in Patton's body changes that.
~
You Are My Sunshine
Patton falls for his soulmate on the way to class.
~
Unfinished fics
Just fics that are good but not yet finished! They'll be added to whatever section of the list they belong in once they're finished ❤
-this section may take time to update due to the fact that I put off reading a lot of unfinished fics 😔 I swear I’ll edit this eventually it just hurts reading anything that isn’t done
~
The Effects Of Shame
Remus... has a crush. Just a small little thing, so inconsequential, well, you probably can't even call it that! ...right?
Wrong. Very wrong. He's in absolutely in-over-his-head pining for Patton, and he knows that people like him don't get happy endings.
...Right?
45/?
[Caprine’s side note] Guys this fic is LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I don’t care what you’re doing right now, stop it and read this immediately. It’s packed with angst but it has a lot of really nice fluffy moments too and I just adore everything about it, idk man just read it please I can’t even put into words how amazing it is.
~
Silicon Hearts
Patton is sick of the others treating him like an innocent uwu boy and goes to Remus for help. They try fake dating as a way to convince them that Patton is mature and an adult like everyone else. Only one problem though; Patton seemed to take a liking to his fake boyfriend. Too much of a liking.
2/?
~
[Caprine’s side note] Chapter 2 is out!! This fic is so well written 😭 I have no words, the way Remus is written is so good, I mean all of them yes but god I love their writing for Remus
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to simplify: churches are forbidden to promote specific political parties or candidates, in order to maintain tax-exempt status. no religious institution is allowed to make explicit political statements, including “this party is bad,” “this party is good,” “you should vote for x,” “you should not vote for x,” or “let’s raise money for x political party or campaign.” all of those things are super illegal! if they’re going to act as a political entity, they need to pay taxes like any other political entity! report their asses!!!!
getting other people into rarepairs is so hard. wtf am i supposed to show them?? the 30k+ multichapter fic… written by ME?? the multiple pieces of fullbody fanart… ALSO by me?? the 12hr long spotify playlist… curated by ME?? i don’t think so. nuh-uh. no sir.
Why was it so hot? Sweat trickled down his forehead and the warmth felt so suffocating.
A pair of arms...
What were they doing wrapped around him? Who's were they? Why wouldn't they let go? He can't breathe.
Choking...
His throat felt closed up. He couldn't speak. Hot tears fell down his face.
God this heat...
He tried to move, tried to pry free. If this was Remus he would have let go by now. He would've known to let go.
These hands...
They were familiar. A bad kind of familiar. They were of a man Patton knew all too well. A man Patton wanted to forget.
"How did he find me?!"
Patton woke up in a cold sweat. He felt around himself. It was just his body. He took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm down.
He kicked the covers off of himself, swinging his feet off the bed and planting them on the ground. He shakily rose to his feet, wiping his face and moving out of the room.
Patton looked at the couch. Remus was laying there, sound asleep. Patton swallowed the sticky feeling in his throat, breath still jittery. He took a few steps closer and carefully layed himself down on the couch. On Remus. He rested his head on his chest, letting out another breath.
His eyes were darting around the room. It was the two of them... it was only the two of them.
There was nothing to worry about...
Patton whimpered before he let out soft sobs against Remus' chest. He gripped the fabric of Remus' shirt and cried.
He felt a hand on his back and he nervously glanced up at Remus. He still looked to be asleep.
Patton shuddered but he snuggled closer, finding comfort in this warmth. He pushed his head against the underside of Remus' chin, a few more tears falling down his face before he eventually drifted back to sleep.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Patton's eyes fluttered open and he yawned. He sat himself up and he froze when he saw where he was.
He forgot he had moved to the couch.
At least Remus was still asleep. He could still make it back to the bedroom and Remus never had to know that-
"Are you feeling better Patty?" Came a voice that interuppted his thoughts. He looked down again to see Remus looking at him through half-lidded eyes.
"Yeah I feel fine! Better than ever! I just..." He paused, biting his tongue before speaking again.
"I don't know how I got out here on the couch." Patton lied. He hoped Remus wouldn't push it and that would be the end but instead the Duke sat up, brushing one hand against Patton's cheek.
"You were crying this morning." Remus uttered. Patton sucked in his breath. How did he know?
"No I wasn't-" Patton lied again. He tore his gaze away from Remus' and looked at the carpeted floor.
Remus' thumb ran over the bottom eyelid of one of Patton's eyes and the moral side turned back to him.
"You know. It's nothing to be ashamed of. To cry. Roman would tell me that all the time." The Duke explained, readjusting their position. Remus held his arms wide open for Patton.
"You don't have to lie to me. We can talk about it." Remus offered. Patton felt his throat seize up and his eyes got watery.
"H-How did you know I was crying?" Patton asked, voice cracking and eyes locking onto Remus' soft gaze.
"You woke me up when you layed on top of me." Remus said with a small laugh.
Patton lunged forward, holding Remus tight, tears silently falling off his face again. He pushed his face into Remus' chest, muffling his cries.
Remus held the back of Patton's head and his other arm wrapped around Patton's waist, his hand moving to comfortingly rub circles into his back. He leaned his head down, resting his face in Patton's soft curls.
"There you go Patty. Let it out. It's okay, I'm here."
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
The two of them walked hand in hand down to the breakfast hall. Patton had started to calm down but he was still sniffling, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.
Remus pulled out a chair for Patton and he sat down, tearing his hand from Remus' grip.
The Duke stood by him for a bit before he moved to get him something to eat. Patton sniffled, wiping his eyes once more. He sucked in a breath and sighed.
He was mad at himself now. For being so vulnerable around Remus. For even thinking it was a good idea to snuggle up to him. It was stupid.
Him and Remus didn't mix... they didn't get along...
Patton looked over towards him. His heart clenching in his chest.
Did they?
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
The two of them met up with the other four near the main entrance. Remus had his hands on Patton's shoulders, as a way to comfort him Patton assumed.
Logan was saying something about going to a space museum today. Patton wasn't really listening.
He caught little snippets. Something about needing a buddy and how they wouldn't stay in a huge group the whole time.
He sniffled, eyes watering as he leaned back against Remus. He didn't do it on purpose... it was an instinct...
He was leaning into arms that were willing to comfort. It didn't matter who's they were.
Patton then tensed up as he remembered his dream. He started shaking and he bit his lip and his heart was pounding.
He saw a figure in front of him, looking at him with concern.
"Patton?"
Patton couldn't answer, couldn't make out the features. He couldn't tell who was in front of him.
He assumed it was probably Remus...
The moral side broke into tears again, hugging whoever it was in front of him. The person holding him spoke to someone else.
"Dude what the hell did you do to him?" The voices became a bit clearer.
"What did I do? I didn't do anything, he's just got stuff going on right now. I wouldn't hurt him on purpose! I may be a monster but I'm not that cruel."
Patton choked on his tears.
That was Remus... they were accusing him. They assumed he was the reason why Patton was crying.
Stop blaming him... he didn't do anything wrong...
There was an unbearable ringing in his ears. He couldn't hear anything anymore. All he felt was his feet moving across the floor as he was guided in another direction. He kept his eyes fixed to the floor, tears collecting on the lenses of his glasses.
Two hands moved Patton's glasses to the top of his head. Two hands wiped the tears from his eyes and face.
Two hands kept him silent...
His vision became clearer. He looked up, seeing Virgil stood in front of him.
"Pat are you okay? Did Remus hurt you or something? I'll kill him if you need me to!"
Patton's throat felt dry.
They were all friends. Virgil was threatening their friend. Because he was crying? This was wrong... it was all wrong...
He felt a sob rise in his chest. He started crying again.
"He did, didn't he! We should've split you up when we had the chance, having you room with Remus was a mistake." Virgil said, cupping Patton's cheeks, and looking him over.
"W-What are you looking for..." Patton managed to mumble. Virgil's eyes met with Patton's.
"Literally anything. You're crying and it's because of Re-"
"No its not!" Patton shouted. He started crying more and more, hiding his face in Virgil's chest.
"He... he didn't do anything..." Patton sobbed, hiccuping and gripping onto Virgil's hoodie.
He would never do anything to hurt him. Had the others not been paying attention the past few days?
Paying attention to all the nice things Remus did for him?
How could they just assume that Patton was having a breakdown because Remus had physically harmed him?
He would never...
"Oh. We totally jumped the gun. Sorry Pat I just... I saw you freaking out and then you started crying so I had to assume the worst and get you out of there." Virgil explained.
Patton tried to hold back his tears.
"Remus is our friend and you're assuming he'd hurt me?" Patton asked, wiping his eyes.
He watched Virgil freeze up, biting back his lower lip and moving his gaze away from Patton's face.
Patton scowled, wiping his face again and straightening himself out, marching back to where the others had met up.
He saw Roman and Remus shouting at each other and he picked up his pace, running. He pushed himself in between the twins and the shouting ceased.
"Patty!-" Remus exclaimed, reaching for him. His fingers grazed Patton's sleeve when Roman pulled him away. Remus looked up at his brother, anger festering on his face.
"If you couldn't tell Remus, I think you've done enough." Roman spoke. Patton looked to Remus, worry in his eyes.
"But I didn't do anything. Patty tell them!" Remus pleaded. He looked desperate. Patton felt his heart swell and he pushed Roman away, running up to Remus and hugging him tightly.
Everyone watched in slight shock.
They all knew that the two never really got along. In fact, everyone thought for certain that Patton hated Remus' guts.
When they all saw Patton in tears while next to him they automatically guessed it was because of something he had done. They didn't think to stop and listen... stop to consider that maybe something else was bothering him...
Remus carefully lifted Patton into his arms and he cried softly against Remus' neck.
The Duke drew small circles into his back with his knuckles, glaring daggers at each of the other four.
"Lets just leave and get the vacation for today started. And all of you need to stay away from Patton." Remus seethed. Each of them made quiet noises of affirmation and Remus turned on his heels, walking out the door towards their shared car which they had used to get out to the hotel.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
There was an awkward silence amongst each of the sides throughout the car ride and while they entered the building. As soon as Logan was done explaining their meetup plan, Patton and Remus were out of there.
Patton stuck close to Remus' side. He appreciated him at the time when he had defended him from a conversation that was just making things worse...
But now...
Now he wished he at least had one other person there. Despite how much they'd been spending time together so far they haven't been able to start conversations that last a long time. There was still nothing in common between them.
Remus poked Patton's cheek, snapping him out of his thoughts.
Remus grinned and held up a map, looking at Patton.
"Whereto first, Patty?" He asked.
Patton scanned over the map, spotting an area labeled "Space Planetarium". He pointed to it, looking up at Remus.
"Lets go here." Patton suggested. Remus looked at the map for a bit before leading Patton towards where it should be.
"After we check out a few places we have to join up with the others for lunch. Then after that we can start looking around again." Remus explained, Patton nodded, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He looked up, catching a glimpse of the gift shop. Remus followed his gaze and smiled widely.
"We can stop there too, don't worry." Remus said, hooking his arm around Patton's shoulders.
The moral side took in a deep breath.
"This will be fun." Patton muttered to himself. He hoped he was right.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Lunch was bitterly quiet. All that was exchanged was quiet apologies.
Remus and Patton sat away from the others. Not too far away, but away enough that they would have to move closer if they wanted to talk to them.
Patton would constantly give sad glances to his other friends from down the table. He sat with Remus so he didn't hurt his feelings but his own feelings were crumbling.
He wanted to talk with his other friends too... wanted to laugh with them... smile with them...
He was tired of Remus.
Patton scolded himself. That's no way to think about your friend! You're having a good time and you're going to keep having a good time. Even if it has to be with Remus.
He's a good guy deep down. Patton knew that. It's just that sometimes it was possible to overdose on your Remus intake for the day.
He blabbed quite a lot. It was often hard to distinguish what exactly he meant when he talked...
No matter how hard Patton tried he could never fully understand Remus or his silly rambles.
But it did feel nice to listen to his voice. Hear him talk so passionately about something. It was better than their awkward silence.
Much better.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Patton stepped into the gift shop, looking around. There were so many cool trinkets and space books and there was planet themed jewelry and clothes. Patton couldn't believe his eyes. He remembered Logan's advice to "Stay within the budget."
Patton hoped there was at least something in here that they could afford.
He wandered around the store before spotting a wall full of stuffies. His mouth went agape as he spotted a monster sized plushie stacked in the middle.
It was a ginormous, round German Shepard plushie made to look like it was in a space suit.
Patton reached his hand forward, eyes wide and full of wonder. He touched the plushie's cheek, melting at how soft it was.
Remus walked over to him, resting his chin on Patton's head.
"You like the big guy, huh?" Remus asked, nestling his face in Patton's hair.
"Yeah..." Patton mumbled. His fingers moved to hold the tag and he flipped it open.
His heart sank at the price. It was way over his budget... he could never get it.
Patton sighed, rubbing his eyes. Maybe he didn't need it anyways. Patton slumped his shoulders and walked away from the wall of plushies, moving to look at things that were likely more affordable.
Remus watched as Patton dragged his feet across the store and he turned back to the German Shepard.
A large grin crossed his face.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Patton waited outside of the gift shop. He ended up getting a keychain of a little astronaut monkey. It wasn't his favorite thing in the world but it was cute and affordable. Now he just had to hang around for a bit until Remus joined him.
He picked at his nails and was fidgeting with the keychain before he noticed someone walk out of the gift shop.
They had the giant German Shepard in their arms.
The person holding it... It was Remus.
Patton lit up, heart fluttering in his chest and smile widening.
"Oh my goodness! How did you afford this?!" Patton squealed, running up to the Remus and gently taking the plush from his arms, squeezing it as tight as he could.
"Ah you know. When Lo told us he was planning a vacay I decided to save up a bunch, mainly to splurge on possibly exotic keepsakes. I figured it was better spent on you than myself." Remus said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Patton's grin dropped and he locked eyes with Remus.
"You... you didn't have to spend your money on me Remus." Patton spoke, tears brimming his eyes. Remus rushed to action, scooping Patton into a tight hug and wiping away his tears.
"Oh please. I think the best souvenir I could ever get from this trip is just seeing that big goofy grin of yours. Trust me. I spent it on you because I wanted to." Remus explained, brushing away a tear that dripped down Patton's cheek.
Patton buried his face in the plush, his smile beaming with pure joy.
"Thank you Remus... so so much."
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
The car ride home was filled with playful banter. It seemed everyone was starting to get along again.
Patton was glad.
He hugged Cookie, which was the name graciously given to Patton's new plush by all of his friends, as close as he could.
He yawned softly, the sounds of his friends voices slowly fading.
And just like that he was out for the count. Sound asleep with his cheek pressed against the stuffie.
Remus glanced over at Patton when he noticed he wasn't participating in the conversation anymore, smiling at the sight. He gently combed one of his hands through Patton's hair, uttering a soft 'goodnight' to him.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Patton woke up in the hotel bed. He sat up, stretching himself out and yawning.
"Oh you're up sooner than I expected." Remus said as he walked through the bedroom doorway. Patton rubbed his eyes and stretched, leaving Cookie on the bed and slipping down onto his knees, rummaging around in his case until he found a pair of pj's.
"How long was I out for?" Patton asked, standing up and looking towards Remus.
"Not too long. You were passed out a majority of the car ride and I carried you back here. Then you were asleep for about ten minutes but that's it." Remus told him, sitting down on the bed and holding Cookie to his chest.
Patton nodded and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door. He took in a deep breath.
There was a new candle lit on the sink. Patton read the label.
"Lotus Pond"
"That sounds so pretty..." Patton muttered to himself. He looked in the mirror, touching a hand to his cheek. His eyes were a still bit red from all the crying he had done.
"Oh well." He muttered, setting down his clothes and changing.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
Patton entered the bedroom a good twenty minutes later, sitting down on the bed next to Remus.
The Duke gave Patton a wide grin and set Cookie on the bed next to him, pulling Patton into a tight hug.
Patton squeezed tight, smiling warmly. The feeling of his arms... it was a comforting feeling... a new familiar feeling.
All too soon he broke his grasp, standing from the bed and walking back towards the doorway.
"Goodnight Patty. Sweet Dreams." Remus spoke, turning away and heading out to the couch.
Patton held his breath and he quickly stood from the bed, rushing over to Remus and grabbing his arm.
Remus looked back.
"Something wrong? I'd say it seems like you just want me to stay in here with all this stopping and such. Not to mention the whole couch thing. If you want me to sleep with with you just ask me." Remus said jokingly, voice a bit flirtatious, though behind it all it was just a playful comment.
Patton bit back his nerves.
"I do. Want you to sleep with me." Patton said, gripping Remus' wrist. His eyes were big... determined. His cheeks turned a bit red as he noticed the flustered look on Remus' face.
"Hey now Patty-Cake, don't you think we're moving a little fast?" Remus asked, he turned his head away as his cheeks turned cherry red.
"I mean we haven't made ourselves official yet." He joked. Patton stomped his foot, a feeling of bewilderment and franticness overwhelming him.
"You know what I meant!" Patton yelled, tugging on Remus' arm and hugging it to his chest.
"I just... need a snuggle buddy."
Remus rested his hand on Patton's cheek, looking him in the eyes.
"It would be my honor..." Remus said, eyes seemingly sparkling.
Patton led Remus back to the bed and they layed down, nestling awkwardly against each other.
Patton tucked his head under Remus' chin and Remus wrapped his arms around Patton's middle. They locked eyes with each other and flushed before looking away.
"This feels... really gay..." Remus muttered, heart pounding in his chest. His face was so close to Patton's.
As much as Patton agreed, that wasn't what this was.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
imagine if you’re the parent of some super adorable tiny elementary school pony and she gets her cutie mark one day while listening to Insane Clown Posse on her horse ipad and u look and its a fucking hatchetman. and you realize your 10 year old child is destined to be a part of the dark carnival.
imagine being The Virgin Mare-y and giving birth to Horse Jesus and then he gets a cutie mark when he’s a preteen and its a crucifix. and you’re like “should i be worried about this”
Help. Help me. I have been dragged back into rarepair hell DAMMIT
Would y'all be chill if I started posting undertale content?? Ik I kinda hAVE already buuut ?? Would that be ok? I'll still do Sanders sides! I've just managed to fixate on something else
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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If you are like me with the anxiety and the depression and the executive dysfunction
- DON'T say to yourself "I need to take a shower"
-showering is a long multistage process that requires you to be vulnerable (naked, wet, blots out sound, what if someone calls/rings the doorbell, etc)
-INSTEAD say to yourself "I'm just gonna go turn on the water right quick"
-small one step task checked off your list
-your anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and it will be none the wiser that you have tricked it into BEGINNING the shower process
-once the water is running you are already there in the bathroom with the water running so you might as well finish the job
NOTE that this trick works for like. Fucking everything.
-Don't "work on your WIP"-- just open the document
-don't "make the scary phone call" -- just pull up the number in your contacts
-don't "make lunch" -- just pull out a loaf of bread
-don't "do the dishes" -- just open the dishwasher. Literally just open it
Remember ur anxiety brain is a dumb motherfucker and that you CAN therefore TRICK it into being functional
also bonus tip: for those times when u just need to lie on the floor and be a worthless lump of anxiety-ridden garbage for a few hours, download Duolingo and pick a language. Are you going to be fluent in a week? No. But it's easy to focus on and that way when you've been down there for half a day and your shitty fukken brain is trying to convince you you're garbage because it KEPT you there, you can counter with "excuse you I just spent the last four hours TEACHING MYSELF A FOREIGN LANGUAGE you punk ass bitch."
