i was too touched to see you clearly..

i went on my very first third date tonight.  i’d been super excited for it all week, and i literally could not wait to see this guy.  the first date was awful (my fault), but the second was pretty wonderful.  number three went south pretty fast.  the whole date was full of opportunities for something-- a kiss, a squeeze of the hand, shoulder brushes, something-- and yet nothing happened, and considering how little physical contact we’d made on the last two dates, i started wondering if it ever would.  so after throwing out some date extender ideas that were met with little to no excitement, i told him we probably shouldn’t see each other again, which seemed to genuinely upset him, and completely shocked me.  he seems like a pretty mellow guy, and nothing really got a rise out of him, at least until this.  i feel terrible for hurting him, but i left every date more than a little perplexed by his feelings for me (which i had hoped were there, but got no indication of, despite my probably overzealous admittance of interest in him), and i had to do most of the work for each date (planning, initiating conversation, etc.).  i don’t feel too bad though, it’s pretty clear that in the long run we would be mostly incompatible, and i have a clear conscience knowing that i’m not going to hinder him from obtaining what he wants from life, but i feel weird for not feeling worse about it.