Storage Bin

Send me one of the following words in my ask and I’ll write a drabble concerning our muses. 

i think the most important lesson here is that spite is the best motivator in the universe.

alright, take it easy! you’re in talking jail!

that’s certainly not wink wink wink wink wink real advice wink wink wink.

not to be too controversial, but i like breasts.

i feel good, i feel cleansed.

people have been taking pictures of me on the subway for years.

what kind of batman am i? am i george clooney batman?

if it wasn’t for your loving mother, you would’ve been a serial killer.

i have some blood on my hands if you’re just judging me by my dreams.

do not talk about your weird “pig is in the oven” sex.

legally, if you say it’s a bit, you can’t be charged for crimes.

yeah, man. it’s cute as fucking hell, dude. all this shit’s CUTE AS FUCK!

we might be in jail right now and this is all a figment of our imaginations.

anywhere in the rust belt, you can get a hand job at an applebee’s.

i love whiskey, but sometimes what it does is it makes your spirit hard but your penis very soft.

human consciousness really was a mistake, wasn’t it?

the struggle is real. we’re all jfk this week, and life is hard.

my whole thing is that my body is a weapon for me to use against society.

i feel fine. i’m the happiest i’ve ever been.

this is so much more fun than stopping at a gas station for directions.

never record yourself. learn from nixon!

all you can do to really ruin a dinner in the 1970′s is shit your pants.

i’ve been shouting about it quite a bit.

you know when you’re high on cocaine and also hammered, but trying to tell secrets but no one else is around?

one cool thing about investigating your own murder, you’ll solve it.

i just hate nerd confidence.

nothing excites the youth more giving ‘em a fucking turtle.

you’d be bad in the fbi.

don’t you wish i had talent? you don’t think that i don’t wish that i had talent?

i know a lot of lawyers and i also know a lot of them that love cocaine.

well, i’m just thinking about- well, first of all, dunkin’ donuts.

your mind is far weaker than i thought it was.

john kerry, the only man i’ve ever believed in.

so you think you can trust the skies? haha, how simple and sweet your life must be.