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You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her.  She had passed out in her room and locked the door.  He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex.  He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”.  He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge.  I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking.  He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”.  Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report.  Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me.  Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison.  The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen. 

This was 14 years ago.  

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can.  The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.”  I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.”  I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

A Curse to Silence Those Who Speak Falsehoods or Cruel Words

Ingredients:

 A Red Candle

A Red Cloth Poppet

Needle and Thread

A Taglock of the Intended Target (a picture, their hair, their name written three times in black ink on a slip of paper, etc.)

A Knife

Procedure:

Sit alone in a room and light your candle.

Using the knife, make a slit in the back of the poppet and insert the taglock. Sew up the slit. (It doesn’t have to be perfect.)

Look at the poppet and say, “Your name is [Target’s Full Name].”

Cut a slit where the poppet’s mouth would be. Pour the red wax into the slit. Say “Your tongue bleeds every time you speak.” three times.

Blow out the candle and turn on the lights.

Hide the poppet somewhere it won’t be found. Cut out the taglock and burn the poppet once you wish to end the curse.

Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought I’d post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.

Hello! This is a poem for Loki as an offering i did. 

They yell trickster, Sinner-all that’s rotten. But to those that do know better- He’s the God for the outcasts.

Ones with no home, No acceptance from the masses. The scorned and bitter.

Let them embrace the chaos. There’s no wrong in being broken. Repaired with change.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

@lovebyluna on instagram

EASY PORK SCHNITZEL RECIPE

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