"Oh hello! I have been sent by King Titania to personally escort you to the Gala situated inside Lhye Ghiah"
"Now if you'd please follow me and we shall be on our way. I wish you the most wonderful evening." @fourteenthz

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if i look back, i am lost
Peter Solarz
cherry valley forever

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hello vonnie

Discoholic 🪩
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
styofa doing anything

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Love Begins

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@caorann8
"Oh hello! I have been sent by King Titania to personally escort you to the Gala situated inside Lhye Ghiah"
"Now if you'd please follow me and we shall be on our way. I wish you the most wonderful evening." @fourteenthz

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hey guys check it out I can do a frontside 180 with my stomach haha
hopital
just 4 u. I braved Phone Art while on Turbo Morphine (I think they called it dilaudid. it's Turbo Morphine 2 me)
oh ur super flexible? yeah well lmao can u do THIS??? (throws up and dies)
u know in retrospect my stomach shrimping wasn't even the worst part so far. it was the tube that went to third base with my floppy ass cardia. through my sinuses. just straight up cockwarmed a silly straw all the way thru my esophagus for 2 days
I'm a fool. a fucking fool. an absolute clown. do u know what happened minutes after I posted this.
I found out my body cannot handle opioids.
my muscles lock tf up and deliver the worst pain imaginable in every direction at once. I can't describe it. it's not just pain it's the sensation of every disgusting awful flu ache you've ever experienced in your life condensed into one square inch of your body, all over your body.
do u know what alternatives hospitals have to opioids? HA, HAHAHA
they don't
GUESS WHOSE HOSPITAL IS GETTING HIT BY A TORNADO
made the saving throw 😎 not today, Satan
Y'ALL WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT BIOLOGICAL PROCESS STARTED LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE SURGERY
THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO
I'd love to say this has been an educational experience, but unfortunately I run on Spite and simply vow to torture my blorbos even more now
which is saying something while being in the Vivisect the Half Dead Child fandom
I LIVED BITCH!!
Stomach is back where it should be, I got some guts stapled and skin glued, and recited Dexter's Lab every time the nurses mixed powdered medicine in with my applesauce. I'm bored of drinking ramen and watching Resident Alien reruns so I'm gonna peruse the tags!
I cannot tell you how many times I unironically gazed into the middle distance and thought this
I've learned things can be true and also a shit post at the same time. unfortunately
starting to think maybe I've been saying this too much all my life and karmic justice just backed up in the pipes before exploding. still gonna obliterate those twinks tho. get back here Siffrin I'm not done with you yet
this guy is getting the true moral of this story
I HAVEN'T IN YEARS so either the AO3 curse has a disconcerting half-life, or it extends to discord servers and Google docs. both are horrifying and deserve a federal grant for further investigation
you and me both! isn't nature beautiful
you've made me realize my most recent fic in my gdocs is in fact the darkest thing I've written. so maybe all the ppl in the tags claiming AO3 curse aren't as wrong as I've been thinking they are
god's a bitch and I'm into omegaverse
I feel like I should get a medal for enduring something so fucked up that randos on the internet think I must be lying. yeah bro me too
did I stutter
honestly the worst part about all of this is the fact that I can't watch Murderbot. I want to so bad. but I refuse until I'm feeling halfway alive again
fuck life. I give myself lemons. AO3 on hospital Wi-Fi
you do not. like emphatically, I don't think that's a great idea
I'd say I'm sorry but tbh this seems very on theme for ISAT so
THANK you I need everyone to remember I'm a gamer first, god's favorite crusty sock in the bottom of the drawer second
the ARE a lot of people in the tags calling me Jesus Christ
I'll admit that one's on me. when I started being unable to eat anything, my first thought was not "stomach straight up saying the abdomen's haunted"
I hate that I was actually considering getting white haired anime boy haircut right before all this happened. could you fucking imagine
don't carbon date me like this
Rascal Flatts was right. life is a highway and it's riding me all night long
the abortion was a success! (/silly)
they snipped and stitched some things, yanked the whole sucker back down UNDER my diaphragm where it belongs, and did this thing called a fundoplication where they wrap and stitch the top of the stomach around the bottom of the esophagus. it’s supposed to help keep that little bastard in its assigned seating
what I had was a called a combination sliding hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies) and paraesophageal hiatal hernia (stomach wants uppies but through a different hole in the diaphragm bc it’s not like other girls, making it look like it’s trying to phone home), along with combined organoaxial and mesenteroaxial gastric volvulus (stomach flops around like a dead fish and twists itself shut like a bread bag AND goes upside down). the former usually ends up cutting off blood flow and starts necrotizing the stomach (very dangerous), but I was extremely lucky that hadn’t happened yet!
the hernias are uncommon but not terribly rare. the stomach flopping around? that’s rare. the fact that I had both of these at the same time, where they both did ALL AVAILABLE BAD THINGS POSSIBLE?
to put it gently, according to one resident, I had surgeons fighting over me. pictures were taken. I had like six separate groups of medical professionals coming into my room regularly. my surgeon shook my hand like I was a celebrity. it was honest to god hilarious.
all in all, I spent 3 months thinking I was being a huge wimpy diaper baby, only to find out I narrowly evaded death bc my friend Moth told me to go to the ER right away, and it triggered a panic attack big enough to make me do just that. the poor ER doc came in sweating with the initial CT scans like “I’m gonna be real with you I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m looking at but it’s giving INCREDIBLE Emergency Surgery”
I’m upset I don’t get to birth an alien baby, but considering how it was Rapturing into my chest, it probably would have been a chest burster anyway. I want to kiss Miss Xenomorph as much as the next guy but I think I’ll just stick to sending prime numbers out into space until one returns my booty call
EDIT: btw I love the dog jokes lmao I had no idea volvulus was common in dogs! don't worry I'm not a werewolf (unfortunately), I simply have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which makes all my connective tissue soft and stretchy. So we're waaaay more prone to having organs (and joints) slip n slide around and do things they REALLY aren't supposed to. But I wish I was a werewolf even more now. when will it be my turn
haha that was a fun near-death experience glad it's over though GUESS WHO JUST GOT FIRED
ARE YOU KIDDING ME THERE'S ANOTHER FUCKING TORNADO
my clowns in hellsite, I have no idea how my house is intact when there are trees uprooted by my mailbox. if I had less staples in me I'd bend over and moon the sky
I'm not gonna keep dragging this post on I swear I'm just still on pain meds (I can handle higher doses of weaker opioids for some reason! yippee!) so I'm gonna look through the tags one more time and address a couple things I've seen often
- no, I wasn't doing anything in particular to fuck up my guts. sometimes our organs just Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 right through the polygons. don't worry about it, it's rare and you get a fun story to tell ur friends
- yes, I was fired because I missed too many days nearly dying and requested more to recover from nearly dying. what can I say I'm a needy unreasonable bitch
- yes it's pretty lame to do this to someone right as they stumble off the operating table and get dumped with expensive medical bills. yes this is legal. yes I'm filing for unemployment. yes I would leave mouse poops in the CEO's coco rice krispies if given the chance. love and peace ✌️
- it's cool my dudes I live in the Midwest, basements are an evolutionary aspect of natural selection here. we've also got Steve Templeton I'm pretty sure he fights the tornadoes off himself
- Murderbot TV series good :)
- don't worry guys I know the original artist for Life is a Highway. Lightning McQueen
- there are a LOT of you offering advice on how to avoid the torment nexus. while having a Siffrin pfp. just an observation
- who the fuck is Job
please laugh. every drop of joy I squeeze from this karmic fart parade is another finger shoved firmly up god's withered asshole
can everyone stop being funnier than me for 2 minutes
I only fucked someone once and it was bc they replied to my reply on their comment to the fic I filled for their kink meme prompt on Livejournal. it was vore. and my name's not Jesus
no I'm going I want to ask Joshua how he got that gay
can y'all stop comparing me to deities I'm already on thin ice here with one or possibly more of them
no this is Patrick
I'm sorry to disappoint but I only have 2 weed smoking girlfriends. if anyone lets me borrow one of theirs tho it would really help the Make A Wish Foundation. I beg them once a week and they keep telling me I'm "not a child" and "already got two wishes fulfilled"
take a ticket and get in line if you're gonna make an attempt on my life, you goddamn heathen
you can't give me this after I was just accused of being Dave Strider
DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE
World Heritage Post
Got his ass together in three words
Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.
Today on Goober Squad Adventures, plumbing the depths of Aloalo Island! And Robyn's couch.
featuring @stardustdiver's Wint and @robynostornwyn!
And just what were you looking for under my couch???
it does admittedly bum me out a little when people see strawberry and immediately go "muscle mommy!!" or "dommy mommy!" just because she's tall or a femroe--she is in fact a 0 on the muscle slider, and she is not meant to be dommy in the slightest
literally part of why i made berry is because big and tall girls being allowed to be girlish and ultra femme and silly and cutesy is important to me, irl tall formerly-a-girl who has always felt out of place trying to express my love of cute and pink things--so when people immediately fall back onto the "all tall women are doms regardless of their actual personality" or "all femroes are supposed to be butch" brand of stereotypes it makes me :(
your 'dommy muscle mommy' has all the presence of a sparkly pink marshmallow peep and the consistency to match. she has more boob than muscle and brains combined. the only thing she's dominating is the quadruple tier ice cream sundae she just ordered for dinner. if you ask her to step you on there's a nonzero chance she starts tearing up because you are lovely and don't deserve to be crushed :( that sounds mean :( wouldn't you like a hug instead??
Hi there, a friend sent me here. May I raise you my malibu barbie femroe who's a big ol' nerd, also 0 on the muscle slider and has a pink SCH fairy and pink carbuncle. Miss Kyrsswyda is in no way a dommy mommy aside from a stern frown if you try to hide injuries which is honestly more heart breaking.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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We could make our own HoH tower if we stack up all of our Roes on each others shoulders!
I think we need more Roes...
feat. @verysmallcyborg @stardustdiver @the-worrier-of-light and @redwylde
uh oh... the goobs got hit with the lala beam
featuring @robynostornwyn's Robyn, @stardustdiver's Wint, and @redwylde's Fyr!
Two ASTs casually healing each other
Friends with Benefics
Fun fact: The Limsa Aetheryte benches are 5 femroes wide :)
Fyr (@redwylde) + Robyn (@robynostornwyn) + Wilfreda + Wint (@stardustdiver)
Happy nameday to @stardustdiver's Wint! Your tea, as requested. I trust the company is to your liking? ☕
weeeh thankyou wil 🥹🤍💙
wol and lord commander duties cant catch either of them if they are in mor dhona 😉 we'll be sure to tip the wait staff too 🤍

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Feelin blue
saw the prompt "just go into gpose zoom in your oc's face and make them do /biggrin and take a picture" on bluesky. and honestly. valid.
A "salad" of radishes on the side would make this dish perfect.
You could add mozzarella pearls to the radish salad. Soften the pepperiness of radishes a little.
Do they sell mozzarella balls that small?
Yeah, they're sold as mozzarella pearls. The idea is that you can throw them into a salad, instead of shredding a normal sized mozzarella ball.
Some stores have mozzarella in a tube shape and it's firmer. You can slice pieces and put them on pizza and they keep the shape better.
Yup, balls and bricks are what I'm familiar with.
But yeah, more spheres for the sphere menu! xD
could have mochi for dessert
At the Tumblr Ball Pit Diner

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Thank you @the-worrier-of-light for letting Wilfreda play in the snow with Robyn!
The problem with having a child with an attorney that has spoken to the child like an adult since birth is that she's 4 years old and she's negotiating the order in which we're going to complete tasks as a family to best suit her idea of an ideal day.
Penny: We go home, we play the mirror game, we have dessert, we play more games, we have fun deal?
Me: Okay well actually we're going to go home, have dinner, then dessert, then we can play your video game, then tubby then bed
Penny: Okay no tubby, games first, deal?
Me: This is not - what is happening right now?
Penny: Dada?
Dada: Arbitration?
Penny: DEALS!
Every single thing in our lives has become a negotiation and it is frankly ridiculous as it is hilarious.
Penny: I want to use bare foot when we go outside
Me: I didn't know we were going outside but you have to wear shoes girl
Penny: okay but what about I use bare foot's but at Penny's house? This deal?
Me: you know what yeah fine if you agree to not fight about shoes when we leave the house you can be barefoot in the back yard, deal.
Penny: -sticks her hand out expectantly- we deal?
I think I just made a verbal contract with a 4 year old.
She's attempting to establish evidence I think
Penny: but I want to go shool pwease
Dada: okay well it is 8pm, so you have to go to sleep now
Penny: okay but I see my fwiends at shool now please, deal?
Dada: Darling no one is at school, all your friends are asleep as well.
Penny: all Penny's fwiends are sweep? What about we... get in Dadas car and check to see watch them sweep, yes deal?
Dada: I cannot begin to explain to you why that can not happen
The great thing about being beholden to Penny the Deals Warlock is that she is also beholden to the art of the deal
Me: (watching Penny scoot her step stool over to where we keep the candy jar): hey honey we're literally walking out the door to go get dinner, maybe we wait on the candy okay?
Penny: Oh but I will have some candy?
Me: Why don't you come have some mac and cheese and then when we get home you can have some candy, deal?
Penny: (running out the door) oh, yes this is deals!
We are visiting my family and Papa has quickly had to pay patronage to Penny the Deals Warlock
Papa: (yesterday morning, when Penny was a little grumpy) What about you come downstairs and we'll have some waffles and then tomorrow Papa will take you to the Diner in town for breakfast?
Penny: (extending her tiny hand to a VERY confused man) this is deal?
Papa: (not knowing hes entering a literal contract) uhm yeah deal.
-smash cut to 6:30 AM this morning-
Penny (running down the hallway in bare feet) 👹BREAKFAST DEALS👹
Penny has a canker sore to end all canker sores, to the point where she hasn't been able to eat so we had to make some deals surrounding getting some medicine on it because a hungry Penny Rose is like a angry demon queen
Me: Okay baby this is going to suck. This is going to hurt real bad for a second and then it's going to feel weird and then it's going to feel good. You're going to hate it. But if you let Mama get these three medicines in and on you [Listerine, Antacid, Tylenol] you can scream it out and then we'll go get some ice cream! Deal?
Penny: (obviously not thrilled with this idea) okay, three big shreams, three medicines, ice cream ... it will suck... ice cream ... deal. (Sticks out hand and we shake on it)
Me: okay let's do this I'm so sorry (starts the process)
Penny: ( In between her big screams ) IM GONNA GET LOTS OF FRINKLES