JACKAL.

❛ hey ghosts! tousle my hair! ❜ 

❛ will you haunt me for the rest of my life? ❜ 

❛ so — so this is just a bunch of hobos and rapscallions. ❜ 

❛ that’s not creepy? that didn’t make your spine tingle a little bit? ❜  

❛ I’m just gonna’ get the fuckin’ holy water. ❜ 

❛ hell is supposed to be an awful place, I image the place is terribly maintained. ❜ 

❛ fuck that demon, he’s white washing the history of this house.❜ 

❛ should we poke it with a stick? ❜ 

❛ I won’t argue that your logic is flawed. I just hate it because it’s detrimental to my argument. ❜ 

❛ oh shit, what up! I’m takin’ a selfie with some demons, yo! ❜ 

❛ jesus said chill. ❜ 

❛ you’re looking for me while grunting like a zombie! ❜ 

❛ they’re really just getting boned by fate right now. ❜ 

❛ gimme a little purple nerple or something, lets have some fun.❜ 

❛ holy shit balls! ❜ 

❛ why i’m walking here by my fuckin’ self is beyond me. ❜   

❛ I just love seein’ ya’ squirm! ❜ 

❛ well this seems all horrible and awful in general. ❜ 

❛ if you slit my throat tonight, I’m gonna have a hard time forgiving ya. ❜ 

❛ put it on wikipedia and lets leave. ❜ 

❛ I bet I could squeeze an apple till it exploded. ❜   

❛ here we go! rock and roll buckaroo! ❜ 

❛ you hear that in the distance? it’s the excuse train coming. ❜ 

❛ that demon’s racist! ❜ 

❛ those are some chunky paws on our daughter. ❜ 

❛ don’t be bruce willis from die hard. ❜ 

❛ your unrelenting skepticism is exhausting — it drains me of all happiness and energy, and I hope you know that. ❜ 

❛ I wanna see this girl eat some spiders. ❜ 

❛ that’s a real thing, pal. ❜ 

❛ — not jack nicholson, he was too cartoonish. ❜ 

❛ joke’s on them – no bed to shake. ❜ 

❛ he’s exactly what’s wrong with hollywood! ❜   

❛ my fuckin’ hard-on exploded. ❜ 

some of these are quotes from tiktok creators, and some are from various other forms of media that were popular audios/trends on tiktok

❛ God fucking dammit, Dave! ❜

❛ Oh, a fresh pie! Save me a slice. That’s good. Okay, that’s good. Yeah, that’s…alright that’s good. Oh - okay. Alright. Okay. Alright. Okay. That’s good…that’s good! It’s….IT’S ENOUGH SLICES! ❜

❛ It’s becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! …I am small. ❜

❛ Have you ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend because she has a twin sister and you got confused and fucked her dad? Well that’s how it feels to drive a Ford F2-50. ❜

❛ I live inside you forever! With Satan himself by my side! ❜

❛ I’m picking up really sketch vibes. ❜

❛ I’ve brought you a gift. It’s a crystal, nothing more. ❜

❛ You probably think this world is a dream come true, but you’re wrong. ❜

❛ I was protecting ____. I will always protect ____…..I’m on my way to murder ____! ❜

❛ How is it that you go about defining good and evil? ❜

❛ People are always saying “omg ___! You’re so cute! I’d die for you!” So die. Sacrifice your soul for your queen. ❜

❛ Someone has been in my room and taken my beers away from my room.  ❜

❛ I don’t think so, darling. ❜

❛ I’m fast as fuck boy! Still fast as fuck boy! Come get some! I don’t think you have any idea just how fast I am! ❜

❛ Look at this distinguished gentleman! Look at the way he is sitting. Yes, very distinguished. Mmhmm. I see. I see. ❜

❛ You were dead! I saw you die! ❜

❛ You’re waking the neighbors. SHUT UP! ❜

❛ What the fuck is that fucking thing? What the fuck? Hello? WHOA. CHILL. BAD VIBES! ❜

❛ Not only did you do that, they got your ass on camera! This is the clearest video I’ve ever seen. This is the most HD shit ever! This is 4K. How did they get you in 4k? ❜

❛ What does this do in your fancy car? OH MY GOD I’M PLANNING AN AIRSTRIKE! AHHH! ❜

❛ I may not be a smart man, but uh, I know something’s fucked up when I see it. ❜

❛ Do I remember?…..no. ❜

❛ It is hot as hell in this fucky ass, hot ass room I’m in. IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER?! ❜

❛ No more contacting please. Thanks. Appreciate.  ❜

❛ The trash man! I come out and I throw trash all over the ring. And then I start eating garbage. ❜

❛ Am I a lady or am I a rat? ❜

❛ Goodnight to people with daddy/mommy issues. ❜

❛ I am fucking crazy, but I am free. ❜

❛ He can’t keep getting away with it!  ❜

❛ Baby I’m not even here. I’m a hallucination. ❜

❛ Seems a down right shame. Seems an awful waste. ❜

❛ Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of osha violations! ❜

❛ I thought you were kidding! I thought it was a joke! I even wrote it down in my diary!  ❜

❛ Everything’s cool right now. Might be some problems later, but uh, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. ❜

NOT spoiler free.  contains triggering subjects: missing persons, age gaps mentions, + more. please read and reblog with caution.

’ i’m guilty for loving him/her/them. and for hating him/her/them. for killing him/her/them. ‘

‘ i’m guilty for loving him/her/them. ‘

‘ i’m guilty for killing him/her/them. ‘ 

‘ if you search her/him/them room, you’ll probably find it. ‘

‘ you’re not lying. ‘

‘ i didn’t see you. ‘ 

‘ i saw a woman/man living freely. not in a basement. ‘

‘ it didn’t make sense for a missing person to be in the living room making a call. ‘

‘ have you kissed someone significantly older? ‘

‘ are you daring me to? ‘

‘ i think because of our friendship, it’s where it all went wrong. ‘

‘  you’re officially a missing person. the police are looking for you. ‘

‘  friendship happens between two willing parties. ‘

‘ given the power dynamic between you, i wouldn’t call it that. ‘

‘ i can fix this. i’ll go home. i’ll tell them.. ‘

‘ i don’t know. i told you i’m not a good liar. ‘

‘ i need your help. ‘

‘  you kinda made it open season when you gave her/him/them a black eye! ‘

‘ why did you do it? ‘

‘ i didn’t have a reason not to believe her/him/them. ‘

‘ i don’t care! you abandoned me! ‘

‘ why isn’t she/he/they running faster? ‘

‘ then why would you send this letter?! ‘

‘ i will die trying to protect you from everything. ‘

‘ that’s a pretty big commitment at sixteen. ‘

‘ it’s a little bit of a stretch, don’t you think? ‘

‘ i know, just … call it a mother’s/father’s intuition. i feel it in my bones. ‘

‘ you’re so smart, you’re open, and you’re bold. ‘

‘  i’m glad, and surprised that we can just sit here together like this. ‘

‘ i want to believe you, but… ‘

‘ i saw you with my own eyes. ‘

‘ i followed you that night! ‘

‘ why are you doing this? ‘

‘ you’ve built a fortress around yourself for good reason. ‘

‘ you deserve kindness, [name:optional.]

‘ being on your side cost me my job, my reputation, my family as i once knew it. ‘

‘ can i confess something? ‘

‘ i used to really dislike you, like a lot. ‘

‘ i don’t hear that very often. ‘ 

‘ secrets are scary because everybody has them. ‘

‘ well, sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. ‘

‘ our parents have been basically married for a decade and we’re pretty much strangers. ‘

‘ talking might help. i can listen. ‘

‘ a therapist is not a sister/brother. ‘

‘ i don’t go hunting without arming up first. ‘

‘  you are actually trash, [name:optional]!

‘  really? what? no mocking whatsoever?! ‘

‘ i need to ask you something, and you need to tell me the truth. ‘

‘ how many times have you been inside this house? ‘

‘ i got addicted to the rush of it. ‘

‘ i don’t know what’s going on but, i’m here. ‘

‘ you can say that i pulled away from you but you pulled away from me too. ‘

‘ i don’t understand where all this rage is coming from. ‘

‘ but if you want to talk, you know where to find me. ‘

‘ god, you sound just like her/him/them. ‘

‘ i’m so sorry. i jumped to conclusions and i didn’t… ‘

‘ you’re embarrassing yourself. ‘

‘ now run along. ‘

‘ as i very clearly stated, i don’t want to speak with you in this moment. ‘

‘ did you see her/him/them? ‘

‘ i just don’t know what to think. ‘

‘ you know i would never lie to you. i would never lie to you, okay? ‘

‘ you know i would never lie to you. ‘

‘ [name:optional], i hope you rot in hell! ‘

‘ you are getting out and dancing with me this time. ‘

‘ if anyone can hear me, it’s [name:optional]. ‘

‘ that feeling is called guilt. ‘

‘ leave her/him/them alone. ‘

‘ you’re my new favorite person too. ‘

‘ you’re like my favorite person, maybe ever. ‘

‘ i was raised to be afraid of disappointing anybody. ‘

‘ christmas was truly the first time i really afraid of him/her/them. ‘

‘ making me doubt myself is so much worse. ‘

‘ you look awfully young to be an assistant principle. ‘

‘ you don’t know what you’re saying. ‘

‘ i think you should call the cops on me. ‘

‘ i think i’d be the prettiest girl in all of jail. ‘

‘ really nice smile, by the way. ‘

‘ i still don’t get why coffee smells so good yet tastes so bad. ‘

‘ i feel like i just disappeared and she just took my place. ‘

‘ i feel replaceable and it’s not a good feeling. ‘

‘ how did it happen? ‘

‘ i’m not sure you really want to hear about that. ‘

‘ so that’s a no, then. ‘

‘ there’s not a magic pill that fixes things. ‘

‘ we can do the work. ‘

‘ i believed everything you said. ‘

‘ i did everything you asked. ‘

‘ the moment that i questioned you, you tore into me. ‘

‘ you raised me to be blindly obedient. ‘

‘ my whole life, you have been toting me around like one of your purses. ‘

‘ why did you bring her/him/them down here? ‘

‘ hardly anyone knows who i am and i love snacks. ‘

‘ i’m going to be less like myself and more like what you want me to be. ‘

‘ can you not see how cruel that is? ‘

‘ can you not see how you ruined my life! ‘

‘ you didn’t even want it! ‘

‘ you stole what was basically my trauma journal and shared it in a courtroom. ‘

‘ we are just a few months away from the trail. ‘

‘ you’re not giving the impression that you’re the wronged party here. ‘

‘ i am the most hated person in the nation. ‘

‘ and you want me to be more like her/him/them? ‘

‘ we all want what we can’t have even if we have to change ourselves to get it. ‘

‘ there are some moments in life that changes forever. ‘

‘ you really like her/him/them, huh? ‘

‘ can you please just give me a minute. ‘

‘ it’s never going to be normal again.. is it? ‘

‘ you know, i can’t even remember when it ever was. ‘

‘ what’s happening to you.. i can’t even imagine. ‘

‘ i have no one. i have nothing. ‘

‘ [name:optional] isn’t who you think she/he/they is.

‘ we have evil living among us. right beneath our noses. ‘

‘ good aim. i’m impressed. ‘

‘ it’s a pretty lame and embarrassing first impression. ‘

‘ okay, well, i’m not leaving until you tell me. ‘

‘ why didn’t you say hi? ‘

‘ look, i know what i’m doing. ‘

‘ are you still on my side? ‘

‘ your memory’s been shaking since the trauma. ‘

‘ don’t you think it’s possible you didn’t see what you think you saw? ‘

‘ it’s kind of hard to tell which way is up these days. ‘

‘ i need to tell you something that is a long time coming.. you were right. ‘

‘ we kissed and i lied to you about it. ‘

‘ you deserve the truth. ‘

‘ i’m really really sorry. i really don’t know what else to say. ‘

‘ do you want to hit me? ‘

‘ say it again. ‘

Send me one to see how my muse reacts.

Trigger warnings: violence, murder, depression

“The first rule of ______ is: you do not talk about _____. The second rule of ____ is: you do not talk about _____.”

“Hit me before I lose my nerve.”

“Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that’s your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me.”

“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re never really awake.”

“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.”

“I found freedom.”

“You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick.”

“I’d fight Gandhi.”

“If you don’t claim your humanity, you will become a statistic.”

“People are always asking me if I know [name].”

“Never been in a fight. You?”

“I don’t even have to come into the office, I can do this job from home.”

“We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.”

“You wanna see pain? Swing by First Methodist Tuesday nights. See the guys with testicular cancer. That’s pain.”

“My dad never went to college, so it was real important that I go.”

“Ah, flashback humor.”

“I didn’t create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!”

“Hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It’s not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go!”

“All right, if the applicant is young, tell him he’s too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without food, shelter, or encouragement he may then enter and begin his training.”

“With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.”

“Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.”

“I don’t wanna die without any scars.”

“Listen up, maggots!”

“Fuck Martha Stewart.”

“For a second I totally forgot about [name]’s whole controlled demolition thing and I wondered how clean that gun is.”

“I know everything you do, so if you know I know.”

“You met me at a very strange time in my life.”

“I’ll bring us through this. As always. I’ll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you’ll thank me.”

“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.”

“The things you own end up owning you.”

“This is your life, and it’s ending. One minute at a time.”

“[Name], I’m grateful to you; for everything that you’ve done for me. But this is too much. I don’t want this.”

“More than one side? You’re Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Jackass!”

“Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!”

“All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.”

“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.”

“What would you wish you’d done before you died?”

“Our fathers were our models for God. If our fathers bailed, what does that tell you about God?”

“…We’re the same person.”

“Is that your blood?”

“I can’t believe he’s still standing.”

“He was a decent man, and we’re not gonna bury him in the fucking garden!”

“Three minutes. This is it - ground zero. Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?”

“I know this because [name] knows this.”

“You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, He hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen.”

“Self-improvement is masturbation. Now, self-destruction…”

“If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay,  you are now firing a gun at your imaginary friend near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE!”

“It’s cheaper than a movie, and there’s free coffee.”

“Is that what a real man is supposed to look like?”

“Lord knows what they charged.”

“I look around, I look around, I see a lot of new faces.”

“Listen to me, I’m giving you a direct order. We’re aborting this mission right now.”

“With insomnia, nothing’s real. Everything’s far away. Everything’s a copy of a copy of a copy.”

“You’re going to call off your rigorous investigation. You’re going to publicly state that there is no underground group.”

“Why would anyone want this shit job?”

“We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.”

“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.”

“These guys are going to take your balls. They’re going to send one to the New York Times, one to the LA Times, press-release style.”

“[Name], what the fuck is going on here?”

“It’s called a changeover. The movie goes on, and nobody in the audience has any idea.”

“I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”

“Life insurance pays off triple if you die on a business trip.”

“[Name] is dead. They shot him in the head!”

“When people think you’re dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just…”

“Why do people think I’m you?”

“Yeah, you’re sorry, I’m sorry, everybody’s sorry, but… I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. And I won’t. I’m gone.”

“Get the fuck out of here, you’re fired!”

“This isn’t a real suicide-thing. This is probably one of those cry-for-help things.”

“You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”

“I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”

“Losing all hope is freedom.”

“I’m not [name]!”

“We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives.”

“I ask you for one thing, one simple thing.”

“Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We are God’s unwanted children? So be it!”

“If I didn’t say anything, people always assumed the worst.”

“People do it everyday, they talk to themselves… they see themselves as they’d like to be, they don’t have the courage you have, to just run with it.”

“I have a better solution. You keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, my job will be never to tell people these things that I know.”

“[Name] had bitch tits.”

“You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“That’s, um… That’s an interesting theory.”

“Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?”

“Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive.”

“I feel like destroying something beautiful.”

“This isn’t love, it’s sport fucking.”

“It could be worse. A woman could cut off your penis while you’re sleeping and toss it out the window of a moving car.”

“I see all this potential, and I see squandering.”

“Why would anyone possibly confuse you with me?”

“[Name]’s philosophy of life is that she/he/they might die at any moment. The tragedy, she/he/they said, was that she/he/they didn’t.”