as a mutable dominant with multiple intersections of identities, itās very rare that i will truly feel like i completely belong with one person. i think the more simple you are, the less structured your beliefs/mindset/actions are, the easier it is for you to feel you belong anywhere. itās much harder when you learn more about yourself, and also are aware that you carry so many layers that the one person you feel like you truly belong to, is yourself
with that being said, i feel like in this current stage of life, i feel more and more like a sag/scorpio placement, which isnāt surprising considering the fact that iām in my 1st house profection year. this is the year of new beginnings, new guided systems or beliefs, new physical changes, etc. which is funny cause i donāt think i fully was able to really dive into that until recently. i fully prepared for my 12th house year to be bad, and it was somehow better than my 1st house year. hm.
but anyway, i think that one of the few placements where im like, wow, this person really truly gets me, is another sag placement. thereās a mutual drive and desire to travel and explore and see the world and a constant need for curiosity. and we donāt fully care who comes with, because itās not a requirement to experience it for/with other people, itās for us. itās an itch that we crave that canāt be scratched in miniscule ways. we are willing to forsake almost everything we know and love just to be able to cultivate more experiences and growth for ourselves. and that isnāt just physically, i also mean mentally, spiritually, etc. being willing to say āmaybe i donāt know as much as i thought i didā and restart over. (thatās lowkey more scorpio but still sag)
and sometimes i feel bad for feeling this way cause i think some people would perceive this mentality as selfish, which in a way, it can be. selfishness isnāt inherently bad, and itās very well needed to practice figuring out who you are outside of what the world or others expects you to be. but also, i think it becomes selfless with how you utilize it. itās one thing to travel mainly for self-gratification, or learn for self righteous purposes. or to appear cool or āput togetherā for others. itās another to expand yourself so that way, it makes it easier for you to learn how to understand and expand others. it makes it easier for you to know what it looks like to practice love, grace, community care, boundaries, etc.
i see people say all the time that they love to read or travel, but whatās more important to me is the intention and the outcome behind it. i personally donāt like it when people treat traveling or learning as some kind of egotistical spectacle, something that people primarily do because itās fun and joyous and fascinating and cool for them. it sounds real colonial, which is understandable because thatās exactly where we got it from. a lot of people donāt naturally have a drive to expand themselves for others, they do it for the sake of boosting up themselves.
and to that i say, there can be a balance of both. you can enjoy it for yourself, and also, what are you doing with these experiences to make the world a better place? what are you soaking up all this knowledge and traveling to different countries, states, and cultures for? because otherwise, youāre no better than a colonizer, even if itās not done with malicious intent. and i think itās fair to say that most people in the west are more familiar with colonial methods of actions/thinking than any other type of method. it takes a willingness to acknowledge, accept, and deconstruct when you can.
