as a mutable dominant with multiple intersections of identities, it’s very rare that i will truly feel like i completely belong with one person. i think the more simple you are, the less structured your beliefs/mindset/actions are, the easier it is for you to feel you belong anywhere. it’s much harder when you learn more about yourself, and also are aware that you carry so many layers that the one person you feel like you truly belong to, is yourself
with that being said, i feel like in this current stage of life, i feel more and more like a sag/scorpio placement, which isn’t surprising considering the fact that i’m in my 1st house profection year. this is the year of new beginnings, new guided systems or beliefs, new physical changes, etc. which is funny cause i don’t think i fully was able to really dive into that until recently. i fully prepared for my 12th house year to be bad, and it was somehow better than my 1st house year. hm.
but anyway, i think that one of the few placements where im like, wow, this person really truly gets me, is another sag placement. there’s a mutual drive and desire to travel and explore and see the world and a constant need for curiosity. and we don’t fully care who comes with, because it’s not a requirement to experience it for/with other people, it’s for us. it’s an itch that we crave that can’t be scratched in miniscule ways. we are willing to forsake almost everything we know and love just to be able to cultivate more experiences and growth for ourselves. and that isn’t just physically, i also mean mentally, spiritually, etc. being willing to say “maybe i don’t know as much as i thought i did” and restart over. (that’s lowkey more scorpio but still sag)
and sometimes i feel bad for feeling this way cause i think some people would perceive this mentality as selfish, which in a way, it can be. selfishness isn’t inherently bad, and it’s very well needed to practice figuring out who you are outside of what the world or others expects you to be. but also, i think it becomes selfless with how you utilize it. it’s one thing to travel mainly for self-gratification, or learn for self righteous purposes. or to appear cool or “put together” for others. it’s another to expand yourself so that way, it makes it easier for you to learn how to understand and expand others. it makes it easier for you to know what it looks like to practice love, grace, community care, boundaries, etc.
i see people say all the time that they love to read or travel, but what’s more important to me is the intention and the outcome behind it. i personally don’t like it when people treat traveling or learning as some kind of egotistical spectacle, something that people primarily do because it’s fun and joyous and fascinating and cool for them. it sounds real colonial, which is understandable because that’s exactly where we got it from. a lot of people don’t naturally have a drive to expand themselves for others, they do it for the sake of boosting up themselves.
and to that i say, there can be a balance of both. you can enjoy it for yourself, and also, what are you doing with these experiences to make the world a better place? what are you soaking up all this knowledge and traveling to different countries, states, and cultures for? because otherwise, you’re no better than a colonizer, even if it’s not done with malicious intent. and i think it’s fair to say that most people in the west are more familiar with colonial methods of actions/thinking than any other type of method. it takes a willingness to acknowledge, accept, and deconstruct when you can.
