deity

For the love of God, sound on.

@vensre

Sometimes “Sound on” is a disappointment. This is not one of those times

transcript: [in thick New England accent] “Holy fucking shit; MA! MA, COME OUTSIDE, THERE’S A FUCKING MOOSE! OR A BUFFALO OR SOME SHIT; THEY’RE FIGHTIN’! Where the fuck are you goin’?! MA!! Hoooly shit; this is some fuckin’ National Geographic shit. MA, CALL THE FUCKIN’ COPS OR THE ASPCA; THERE’S ANIMALS FIGHTIN’ IN THE FRONT LAWN!! OOOOOH SHIT!!”

No please don’t pull out! I have abandonment issues

start groping me in front of ur friends

She's a 10, but she gets wet when you tell her that you're proud of her.

i hate looking at the thermometer and seeing some fuckass number like 2

Don't ask her to change positions. Just put her in them

Be possessive over me. I like being reminded that I belong to you, that I’m yours alone.

Is there any other way?

mentally i am living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere in the woods and it's foggy and i am wearing a big sweater and baking banana bread

Why stress her out when you can stretch her out