Canadianno

Their other brand is EARTHBOUND ORGANICS!!!

this lair sucks. your hoard is only like 4 feet tall. you should really work on your image too, i only let you kidnap me because i thought it was cute how you got all flustered trying to be scary. you don’t even have a giant birdcage to put me in..? i’ll have the servants send one over. i’ll have them bring some more threatening outfits for your human form too. i can’t be seen with you wearing those rags. let’s do your makeup before they get here

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

turns out when you specifically seek out extremely pathetic and clumsy women to be your knights and maids they arent very good at being knights or maids

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

can you imagine if surgeons were like "well we tried wearing gloves while doing surgery for two years and it worked really well, like people stopped dying all the time.... but, I'm going to stop because I don't feel like it"

i have a suggestion

Revolutionary idea: imagine [character I like] with [disability I have]. More people should get on this!

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

Autism is some monkey's paw sort of shit, you've got the power to give people the most devastating rip-your-scalp-off level insults that will haunt them for life, with a completely straight face, but the catch is that you don't do it on purpose and also have no idea that you're doing it at all before people get mad at you for no apparent reason again.