Somebody Sedate Me

But before he could think of any newer ways to torment the young blonde a sudden flash of what seemed to be divine light went off next to him blinding him momentarily.

“Gah! You could always warn a guy first, you know!” 

“Ah, apologies I forget about your light sensitivity-“ 

“for someone so divine as yourself, you sure have a knack for being late, frankly it’s getting annoying.” 

He crossed his arms as he scoffed a bit as he let his eye recover from the blinding light.

“Let’s get this show on the road, what are you going to accuse me of now? Hm?”

He looks at whatever form Reheal seems to have taken, it seems this time it would be that of a daycare worker if the apron decorated with finger hand paintings and stickers meant anything, not that they had the name of the place stitched on it either, it seems that they went for a female vessel this time, and a cute one at that with her sleek black hair pulled up in a half updo and her red framed glasses. 

“For starters, I would like to apologize for my tardiness, things have gotten quite… hectic and we seem to have ourselves a situation, I was hoping you would know something about it?” 

“A situation you say? Now what may this situation be?” 

“Well…”

They look around as if to be cautious that a passerby may hear their conversation. 

“Recently a group of our cherubs were sent on their daily mission to try to save a soul for the lord.”

“Uh huh.”

“But something went wrong, there was… a hellish intervention.” 

“Oh?” 

“It appears that some imps without a demonic owner had found their way up here, causing not only chaos and destruction on their wake but also appearing in front of humans-“

They pause a bit as they hesitate to say the next part, lowering their head in shame as they rub their forehead in embarrassment. 

“They meddled with the cherub's mission to the point where they caused the death of a man who was a candidate to eternal paradise.” 

Oh.

Malphas let out a low whistle as he placed his arms behind his head and looked up to the sky in the same surprised way.

“Wow… just… wow- Hold on, how am I to blame for this?” he asked, offended that the angel would think he would do not only something so careless but lazy as well.

Reheal looked at him with the same patient look in their eyes although this time he could see that they looked more tired but that could also be because of the avatar they chose.

“If i’m not mistaken, you are President of Hell?”

He scoffed as his one good eye stared back at Raheal’s bug eye look.

“Nothing more of a title really, the most I did was help rule some rings- if anything the title that fits the most is being “architect” of hell. Besides, you know I don’t spend any time down there- I mean if anything this is more like my jurisdiction!” 

He spread his arms looking around the park before leaning against the bench once again as he looked nonchalantly at the angel.

“Reheal, what is it that you’re exactly asking for?” 

The angel once again blankly staring at him speaks in their soft tone as always, but he could pick up a hint of exhaustion in their tone.

“I need eyes from the inside, something… feels wrong and everything is out of balance, without balance our divine plan is getting further and further delayed, and I'm not sure what but the high seraphim is hiding something.”

“Wow, questioning the high seraphim? I didn’t think you had it in you angel, if you wanted to fall you should have let me know.” he jests, the angel could only grit their teeth slightly as they clench their fists placed on their lap, only Malphas was capable of getting such a reaction out of them.

“It’s not conspiring! At least not when it’s about finding out what the heck is happening that imps and other hellborns are suddenly coming up here causing havoc.” 

He raises his hands amused seeing the angel finally have some emotion other than just a polite smile on their face, or well on their human avatar.

“Alright, but I figured you have angels who are usually in charge of investigating such things? I mean does it have to be me?” he protests not liking whatever it is that the angel was going to request from him.

The angel looks away momentarily, preferring to stare at the ducks wandering in front of them as they waddle away from the trail in a straight line.

“That was my first thought as well, but if the high Seraphim is hiding something whose to say they aren’t part of it as well? It’s something I need to figure alone.” 

He smirked at the angel's response, he knew the angel had always followed the divine law to a T but after a millennium of knowing them it was always nice to find new things about them.

“Careful with what you say Angel, it was that same thinking that got Lucifer expelled, well you barely came to existence when that all went down, huh?”  

The angel turned around as it craned its neck to look up at Malphas, their stare even more intense than before still showing the same soft smile on their face.

“You don't think I know that? It terrifies me knowing that I suspect that the high seraphim is hiding something, but it can’t be a coincidence with what happened recently- I can’t just let it go until I know the full story.” 

“What’s in it for me?” 

“What? What’s in it for you?” 

“Well I’m obviously not going to do this for free you know! I’m going to be losing a pretty dime with however long it’s going take me-“

“Can’t you ever do something for free? Must everything be a business opportunity for you?”

Malphas looked at the angel with a smug “You already know” look.  

Taking a deep breath Reheal decided that it was better to compromise with the crow demon than argue any longer, no matter how many decades in human years have passed Malphas never seemed to have changed, not even his appearance though they knew that the crow demon would always keep up with whatever the trending style was in, and at the moment he seemed to following it if his shag like hairstyle and floral shirt that was almost indecently unbuttoned was an indicator, no matter what he was still the same o’l Malphas as always.

“Fine, I will stop bothering you…. For five years?” 

“Five? Oh come on, that’s nothing to beings like us!”

“Alright, ten years?” 

“Make it twenty.” 

“Ten.” 

“Twenty.”

“Ten.”

“Nineteen?” 

“Twelve.” 

“fifteen?” 

“Fifteen.” 

“Well, you got yourself a deal!” 

Standing and stretching himself letting out a loud and dramatic yawn as he looked at the angel with a mischievous grin. 

“I guess I better get going huh?” 

“The sooner the better I say, I must get going as well, they will grow suspicious of my absence.” 

“Before you leave do you mind givi- Gah!” 

Quickly covering his eye as once again the angel leaves in a flash of divine light leaving its human avatar in confusion on how she found herself in the middle of the park. 

She looked around confused as to how she found herself in the middle of the park when she was supposed to be back at the daycare with the kids, but her thoughts were interrupted as the man standing in front of her spoke in a raspy voice.

“Oh my goodness! How did I get here?! Oh my god, the kids?! Sir, could you please-” 

“Catch ya later toots.”