What's Your Emergency

I mean, I might be a little bit biased, but hey, I’m allowed to be biased. Someone needs to remind you of how sexy you are. Hey, nothing wrong with stretchmarks either. You pushed a damn child out of a hole that is definitely not big enough for such things. That’s because Dex is a gentleman, and y’know, perfection. 

She really would have. Then again, I am not father material. 

We have that ‘I share a birthday with you’ bias. Sexy? Oh gosh, Bas. I don’t know about all that but we live in Los Angeles which is literally the city of attractive people, and I happen to work around some of the most attractive of the attractives. 

I can’t say I wasn’t basically ready for parenthood since I was a kid but I think that when it happens, you end up loving this little person you made so much that nothing you expected makes sense anymore. For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a good father. 

Oh pfft. You’re a damn snack, babe. Kids. Kids everywhere. Teenagers the bane of my existence. Okay, well, yes, your Ex is a god; what I would give… Why would you let anyone see that? If that was mine, I wouldn’t want to share. I mean, fuck. Sex with him must have been amazing. 

So unfortunate. Our kids would be beautiful

You’re very kind.. and extremely biased... but I’ll accept any compliment regardless considering this body has super attractive stretch marks on it. Haha because he was a firefighter and then a trainer, and you know Dex. He’s a good guy. Even if people looked, he would have never cheated on me. Well, it was definitely not awful. 

They would have been. Sophia would have been a great big sister to our artistic and near-sighted offspring. 

Almost 30. Gross. We’re so old. In gay world, I’m basically dead. 30 was old when we were kids. Hell, 20 year olds were adults to me when I was 5. Now I’m like… 20 year olds are children. Hey, what’s wrong with being a single mom? I think you’re a kick ass mom. Yes, that Dex. The gorgeous blond god that is him. He’s my personal trainer, and his ass… Also, did you let him leave the house in grey sweats? Because he does that, and it’s not fair. 

Awe, babes. If I was straight, I would 100% be your boo.

In hetero world, i’m basically dead too. They definitely are children though. I took Sam to a concert when he was fifteen and he made a friend there. I kept an eye on this kid because I didn’t want him to be alone around strangers, right? The kid was eighteen. There is nothing wrong with being a single mom but I promise you that no one has any interest in dating a single mom with a rambunctious five year old and an ex that looks like Dexter. And of course I did let him leave in those sweats. They’re insanely hot on him and we may be broken up now but I still have eyes. And we had a very healthy sex life when we were together. 

Alas, we were never meant to be. 

Seriously, all he needed to do was fuckin’ ask. I would have said yes. But, whatever. He’s a dick. Eh, I turn 30 in a few months… it’s time for me to live out my last few months of my 20s. Party. Drink. Fuck. All that fun shit. Think I could get Dex into my bed? Or is he straight as a damn board?

Stace, your glare is a gift. I love you. 

Don’t remind me of the big looming 3-0. We have less than three months. I still can’t believe we’re almost thirty. I swear when I was little, I used to think 30 was so old, like I’d have my life together, not be a divorced single mother. Dex as in.. my ex-husband Dex?

Your whole presence is a gift. I love you too. 

He pulled the ‘we’re on vacation, have a little fun. It’s just sex, it’s not cheating’ thing. I wouldn’t have had an issue, if we had talked about it first. Like, I have no problem with an open relationship, I have no problem hooking up with other guys, or having threesomes. I have a problem with it not being discussed and him cheating. 

Eh, I don’t know when, or if, he’s coming back from Paris. Not that I care. 

That’s terrible, Seb. Communication is necessary in a relationship and you’re absolutely right. What he did was cheating and you deserve to be treated better than that. You did right leaving him. Single isn’t always fun but neither is settling for less than you deserve. And if he does come back, I’m fully prepared with my death glare that my family will tell you looks like an angry Care Bear but the message is still there. 

Ooh, I do love when they start to say “no”. Daddy is much more fun than Mommy, don’t you know that? Probably because Daddy takes her to Disneyland. What? No springing the penguins from the zoo? Now why on earth wouldn’t you let her do that?

It’s been her absolutely favorite word this week. I think she’s reverting to those terrible two’s that we were priding ourselves for surviving. Well, she’s a daddy’s girl through and through. I told you we should have had a boy. Because i’m clearly a terrible mother. She has her bag packed and is currently pouting waiting to see you. 

You know I’ll be there.

I can always count on you, Dex. Soph and I had a rough week this week. She’s really started to enjoy saying “no” a lot more so we had to go to our room this afternoon and she’s very much unhappy about this. What she is happy about is going to stay with daddy because apparently daddy is much more fun than mommy. Heads up, mommy also said no to springing the penguins from the zoo and letting them live at our house. I’m such a monster.

Look here, I can’t help if I get called in but I will do my best Stace.

I know how it can happen with a call but I’d really like to have one meal together with the family. We haven’t sat down together since Thanksgiving and even then, you had to run out early. I’m beginning to forget what you look like. 

I can’t really escape that word, she’s twelve after all. Next birthday is the big one. You still have a few years though, instead of a few months, cherish it. Let her be little, I’m still hanging on to that very last bit of little. It’s beautiful, that’s not lie. But California has a beauty of it’s own too. She really is, but I have to say, speaking of biases, I’m pretty sure I have one in regards to her. Up the pole, huh? Well if anyone could, I’d put my money on her.

Tell me, just how old does it make you feel to think of the fact that you will quite literally have a teenager in a few more months? From what I can tell, you’ve done a wonderful job raising her. She was very sweet to Soph. Aw, see, you say that and now I have that song in my head and there’s a very real chance I’m going to end up pulling out her baby book and crying over some of these oatmeal raisin cookies I made. Well, every good father has a bias towards their own child so I’d say that’s a good thing. Haha, yes, she’s insistent. Always questioning why people go down but no one goes up. 

I used to be ale to hide out behind Beth, but now she’s hit or miss when it comes to photos, the pre-teen is strong in this one. She’s been loving the move though. Beaches are a regular thing, well as regular as I can make them, back in Seattle even in the summer they weren’t as great as they are here. And school has been great. She’s a smart kid and has this charm about her that allows her to fit in anywhere. How’s Sophia?

Oh, that’s a buzzword that I’m trying not to say. I don’t want to risk saying “pre-teen” and tempt it to come faster. I’m not ready for Sophia to grow up. As it is, I swear she was just in my arms, waking me up at two a.m. to hold her and rock her back to sleep. I’m really glad she’s loved the change. I’ve never been to Seattle before. I hear it’s beautiful but I have a bias to L.A. Your Beth is such a sweet thing. Sophia has been doing well. She’s a little ball of energy and has decided to make it her life goal to climb up the pole at the fire station. 

It’s some social media app, or something. Another way to waste time and kill braincells, if you ask me. 

Something tells me every single one of my family members likely has this. Actually, I think my older brother does have this. I do admit that I am a big fan of Facebook. It’s pretty much a photo gallery for my little girl.