O Captain My Captain

“Uh well I hate to be the bringer of bad news…and your warning just made me more nervous…but we are kinda running out of food…”

“Just don’t shoot the messenger…” she quickly added, throwing her hands up.

Leela simply stared at the biologist, expression blank, before sighing. “Don’t be nervous. All I have to throw at you is my coffee, and I need it more than that.” It was meant to be a joke, but even her own laugh was forced. 

“Not that I can tell,” she muttered, but before she could push herself up, she felt a presence by her side. Ezra moved her hands to take each side of her head, cracking her neck. Once she was able to get the kink in her neck out, Ezra turned her full attention to the captain.

“Everything’s fine here.” Ezra didn’t hesitate to take the hand that was offered to her for help. “Di’you check on the rest of the crew?” She asked, interlocking her fingers with Leela’s as she used the captain to anchor herself as she got up. “Is everyone else all right?

Bracing herself, Leela hauled Ezra to her feet with only a little effort. “We seem to have a couple minor injuries, cuts and scrapes, so on. Otherwise everyone is okay,” she responded, and then shook her head, the ghost of a smile on her face.

“Sorry for bothering you then. I just wanted to stop by and show you the map I’ve been making? I got a pretty decent start on it when I was out scouting for a water source.”

“Apology unnecessary, kid, that is something I can get behind. Andbefore I forget, how is our water source problem looking?”

“I follow directions fine. I just don’t like having the rules changed on me every five minutes.” She didn’t trust the captain’s sudden change in demeanor, but she bet she knew what had caused it: the reminder of her mother. It darkened her already pretty black mood. “Don’t worry, I’ve already been yelled at by two different people who think I’m the dumbest thing to produce carbon dioxide since the first aerobic bacteria. I wouldn’t go near any of their stuff if the entire planet caught fire.” Shelley huffed out a breath, considering her options. She didn’t want the captain distracted by worrying about her, and she didn’t want to be considered a liability or ‘precious cargo’ either. “You don’t have to worry about my mother throwing a fit if something happens to me, you know. She had already started cooking my replacement when I left, and it’s not like she’s ever been particularly involved in my existence, except to tell me quarterly what a disappointment I am to the family legacy.” She laughed, and even in her own ears it sounded bitter and small. “Anyway, point is, if some, like, snow monster or whatever eats me, you aren’t gonna be court martialed.”

Arching a brow, Leela almost smiled at the girl’s suggestion, but thought better of it--it might make her words seem threatening, which was unnecessary given that she had all the power anyway. She was going for a more tough-but-reasonable vibe. “I’m not worried about your mother’s response. Sure, she could kick up a fuss and cause trouble if she wants, but that’s minor in comparison to the hell that will come to my crew if something happened to the child of an important NICA figurehead on a mission that was supposed to be simple, on a planet that is meant to be habitable.” Which was the exact reason she had decided to shoulder the entire burden herself; her crew didn’t need to be responsible for anything Shelley did. The blame would go no further than the captain. This was supposed to be her crowning achievement to-date, though, and therefore she had just enough motivation to keep the new addition safe along with everyone else. “My word is law. You are not to do anything without permission until we find something you are reasonably good at without supervision, and I am going to treat you like I would a cadet. If you have a problem with that, now is the time to say so.”

“Good. Don’t let go of that attitude. We need practicality now more than we need compassion, especially if we’re going to survive for an entire year.” Cassia had faith in Leela, but she didn’t really have a habit of trusting anyone completely. They needed someone to lead them that understood that feelings were irrelevant in the face of survival. All that Cass knew told her that they were going to have to make some horrible decisions in the future and she wasn’t going to be responsible for another tragedy. “Definitely do that. Any help we can get from the planet itself will be incredibly helpful in extending our supplies.”

“On it.” Leela scanned down her preliminary list of ideas and goals for the first few days as they figured out how to manage on their own, but she had essentially left the doctor to her own devices, knowing that she worked best when left alone and was more than capable. Sometimes that could get hard. Sliding her eyes across the landscape to check for any eavesdroppers, she lowered her voice just enough that it wouldn’t carry, keeping her tone conversational. “If you ever need it, some extra bottles were gifted to us before we left and can be found in various areas of the ship and packed with supplies... There’s probably one or two in with one of your lighter boxes. They’re limited, but everyone needs to take the edge off sometimes.” Offering Cassia a polite smile, Leela nodded at her before turning on her heel. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“We’d make history,” she beamed. “Ha, no, we’d definitely have to stay alive,” Elisa said with a small chuckle. “Otherwise the papers would read; another mission failure, and none of us would want that.” Elisa wanted this mission to be a success, and she was sure her other crew members felt the same way. Nodding in agreement, “Pop shelters would be a good start. They don’t offer the best of protection, but they’re all we got right now. Shall we go see where they are?”

“Mission failure would be the horror story ending nobody would talk about.” Yikes. Shaking her head, Leela pushed on. “That’s a great idea. If you can find anything more specific to your area of expertise to do, then absolutely go for it, but until then I’m afraid I’ll have to set you up with odd jobs.” She smiled apologetically. “At least you’ll have company in that. I’ll see what I can do about making teams to get stuff done.”

“I’m sure everything you’ve heard is bullshit,” she grumbled, but she didn’t really want to continue the confrontation. She really didn’t like arguing. It just … seemed to happen a lot around her. She was probably too sensitive, like her mother constantly said, and took everything too personally. “That time the Chem lab caught fire was a controlled experiment, the teacher just came back from lunch early.” Which was a variable she could not have accounted for. That was the time she got expelled because they thought she was making a bomb to blow up the school. Just because she was quiet in class and was marginally ostracized. Puh-lease.

A long silence hung between them as Leela resisted the urge to sit down and put her head in her hands; instead, she tried to be exactly as businesslike as she was with the rest of her crew, if perhaps a little less chummy. “Noted and ignored. The most important thing to me is that we are on the same page as far as my authority goes. Plenty of this team doesn’t work well with authority, but just about all of them have thus far managed to work with me. I need you to do the same.” If one unexpected trust fund baby upended her entire system, survival would be that much harder to maintain. “We’re in a high-danger environment and my orders may not always make you feel warm and fuzzy, but my top priority is keeping everyone alive. Which means no controlled experiments, please. Maybe stay away from the experts’ materials until we make you a more integrated part of the effort.”

“Yeah, we just have to convince some of the others of that…”

“I should probably make myself useful. Anything I should do?”

“I’m not sure I have a job for you yet, but I will. Keep track of everything that goes on, though, and see if anyone needs help with something you can do. Problems should be brought straight to me or my second-in-command, okay?”

“I probably weigh less than one of those stupid tubs of manure!” she said, defensively crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at the ground. “And I’m not some idiot fresh out of NICA training. I know for a fact that this mission could have sustained at least two more people, because it’s all my mother complained about for weeks after the roster was announced.”Chewing on the inside of her lip, Shelley thought that perhaps that piece of information might not have been public knowledge. Oops. That’s what she got for eavesdropping. “Anyway, I can shoot a phaser. And I’ve basically been taking care of myself for the last five years – it’s not like I’m a civilian.” The disdain in her voice came directly from her mother, and she kind of hated herself. But, in her defense, the captain reminded her a lot of her mother, which just made her feel worse about her existence in general. Her mother had made disappointment seem like a world-ending occurrence, and as such Shelley tended to react defensively. “I’ve got basic survival training.”

“How do I know you’re not ‘some idiot fresh out of NICA’?” Leela asked incredulously, losing her cool far faster than she would have liked. “Maybe you’re some kind of kid genius, why not, but I don’t know that and you’re not giving me any proof of it yet! This entire team was hand-picked as the most excellent people in their fields, and you are a new liability we have no prepared for. I don’t care what your mother--” Oh, God, her mother. She stopped short, analyzing that juicy detail from every angel she could think of. If something happened to the Blauvelt child, the entire crew could suffer for it. “You know what,” she started again, recomposing herself and putting some emotional distance between herself and the situation, “There’s nothing we can do now, so you are officially my problem. I am the captain here. I do not know anything about you beyond what I’ve heard, but here on Cernnunos, my word is law. I’m going to find out what you’re best at and make you useful, got it?”

“In my defense, I don’t eat much.” Didn’t eat at all, when she could avoid it. What had started out as a way to control one small thing in her life had kind of … morphed into something that controlled her. “And I brought my own supplies. I just … had to get away.” She felt exhausted, suddenly, like she’d run a marathon, and while that wasn’t a new feeling for her, she was usually much better at hiding it. The day’s events were all catching up to her, though, as she felt her shoulders sagging and was helpless to keep them up. “I promise not to be a burden on the crew,” she hoped she wouldn’t be a burden to anyone, “but it’s not like you can just send me back anyway, apparently.”

“I don’t think you’re understanding the gravity of this,” Leela said, pinching the bridge of her nose and holding in her sigh. “You’ve been on a plane before, right? Planes are designed to carry a certain amount of weight a certain distance, and at some point that maxes out. Put too much extra weight on a plane, it won’t be able to reach its destination. Maybe it crashes. Spaceships are similar, and often worse, because space travel is not nearly at the level of advancement it needs to be to allow for extraneous things or people. You,” she started again, “are extraneous. I get just having to get away, I do, but this was a poor choice. I’m not saying we’re stuck here because of just you, that seems unlikely, but now our engineer has to consider that as a possibility and I’m sure the crew will love hearing that news.” If the girl didn’t want to be a burden, she really had no idea what she had gotten herself into. They already had one crew member with almost no training for space travel or survival whatsoever; another, and with apparently similar levels of naïveté... “Please tell me you’ve had some kind of training in something.”

“Well, y’see … And this is a really funny story, trust me, you’re totally going to laugh…” She shrugged a little, deciding to bite the bullet and just come clean. They were stuck here for heavens only knew how long and it wasn’t as though the Captain couldn’t find out anything she wanted to know from NICA. Particularly once her mother found out she was stuck on-planet. “I kind of smuggled myself on when everyone at the loading dock was distracted and hid in the botany lab or garden or whatever it was.”

Leela just gaped at the girl as she explained, a muscle slowly working in her jaw. She considered herself a composed person, she did, but this was really testing her patience. “So you’re telling me,” she started, her voice as even as she could keep it, “You snuck onto a space craft fitted with exactly enough water, food, supplies, and fuel for nine people to go on a thirty-six hour mission.” If looks could kill, hers had to be withering. She sucked in a slow, deep breath, eyes closing as she tried to reign herself in even more. “What, pray tell, possessed you to do such a thing?”

Cassia quirked a brow, a frown finding its way onto her face. “I really don’t care about theirfeelings about safety. I’d rather have an unhappy crew member than an injured or dead one. They can’t be careless, not like they might on a regular mission. I hope they realize that before month six rolls around and I’m out of painkillers.” Blunt and a little cold, perhaps, but she knew what needed to be done and she wasn’t going to sacrifice safety for comfort. “Good.” Her brows furrowed for a brief moment, not really needing faith in her to get the job done but appreciating it nonetheless. “No one knows more about medical procedure in uncolonized locations than me. Your faith isn’t misplaced. Just don’t forget I’m only human and our supplies are limited. I might be able to craft a splint out of a piece of wood, but fixing a punctured lung isn’t quite so easy.”

Carefully not the derail the conversation, Leela kept her reflexive I-was-simply-mentioning-it defense to herself and offered a single sharp nod. “I fully agree with you. Keeping everyone alive and well is my top priority, even if they are’t happy about how. I would like them to be happy, but you know best.” The mere thought of a crew member with a broken limb or punctured lung or any other serious injury made her want to crack her knuckles; the only possible worse scenario was death or any kind. She was not about to fail that spectacularly when lives were at stake. “I’ll have Underhill find whatever he can on the local flora, I imagine any plant life that could help replace some basic supplies will be useful. It won’t be ideal, but it’s the best idea I’ve got.”

“Don’t get your hopes up too high. At best, the ship can probably serve as shelter, life support, and communications. That’s not nothing, but it’s not enough. I sincerely doubt I can get her spaceworthy with the supplies I’ve got here.” Dylan admitted. “I’m going to go start looking. The kid has fifteen minutes to catch up and then I’m starting without her.”

Leela kept her disappointment as tempered by her lack of surprise as possible; she had expected the ship to be essentially useless as far as getting them home went, but hearing it was still less than ideal. “Best of luck to you,” she said by way of a good bye, weariness at their situation steamrolling ay lingering amusement she had at Dylan’s standoffish nature.

“I don’t think I’m on your list,” Shelley muttered. She’d been dragged over to the main group by Terra and was feeling more and more out of place when everyone else was wearing NICA space suits and she was wearing … well, the rags of whatever outfit she’d grabbed from her closet yesterday morning. Stowing away had been a pretty impulsive move. “I’m Shelley Blauvelt.” Please don’t recognize my name, she thought to herself, even knowing it was a lost cause.

Leela almost didn’t hear the stranger when she spoke, but the unfamiliar face had her eyes narrowing--had she missed someone? Impossible, she had prepped for this mission religiously. “Blauvelt,” she repeated, recognizing the name for all the wrong reasons. “You’re not one of my crew members. What are you doing here?” What is a Blauvelt doing here was the actual question, but not one that could be asked in nearly any situation.

“Well at least we can be honest with each other, right?” He admired people who weren’t easily offended. Living in close quarters meant that people who had a sensitive skin quickly became the cause of drama, and he’d never been all that good at not teasing people anyway. His sense of humor didn’t exactly rub everyone the right way. “I’m with the reporter girl. You think she can fend for herself?” He clapped Leela lightly on the shoulder with a wink. “I’ll look after her. Then I’m comin’ back for that trophy,” he said, pulling on his pack.

“I think she’s lovely but I do not trust that she can fend for herself, no,” she said, contemplative for a moment. “Not that I think anyone here should need to anyway.” She was tall for the average woman, and between that and the training that had her standing straight-backed and official-looking, most people didn’t get physical with her--the shoulder clap took her by surprise, but she brushed it off with a quick grin. “The trophy might just be the biggest sleeping bag, just a warning.”