My biggest secret

My partner of three years does not touch me

I lost the closest people to me i love

I feel like i can’t talk to them

It feels awkward and forced

Phone numbness is at all time high

I can’t live my life because i get stuck in a constant loop of shuffling apps and rereading the same traumatizing news

I have no desire to do anything i enjoy

I am stuck

I cannot get up and enjoy life

But who wants to do it alone

I want to share it

And i feel as if i have no one to share it with

I’m scared to go to the museum alone

I have opportunity today but my time is dwindling

Others can move and walk but i can’t

I’m stuck in a realm of work, school, home

And i can’t do any of them

Medication helps some times but other days I’m on my own

I’m always alone

I will always be alone 

Even my own partner told me they don’t feel in love with me anymore

Aging is an extremely terrifying thing that I have the biggest fear of and I don’t know if I would actually be able to handle it - or if i even want to

I haven’t ate anything in probably 24 hours - nothing substantial at least - budget! lol!