I am not a whale killer

"i get a little bit genghis khan" was such a strange and delightful thing to say in a pop song

there's a delicate balance between "seeing something on my dash so often i end up caring about it unexpectedly" and "seeing something on my dash so often that it gets added to the blocked list with extreme prejudice"

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

if he had been there it wouldn't have gone down like that

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

favourite rpg trope is the merchants in incredibly hostile environments. we are at the evil curse mountain and youre just selling me items normal style

Essential worker during covid

God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.

ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.

You gotta watch this one the whole way through.

(flashing lights warning at around 3/4 ways through)

Nobody who has seen this has ever forgotten about it.

they wanted him dead for his sad brown eyes and his slut waist