queen

Seb stepped back as he watched as a soft blanket fell to the grass, avoiding the fabric from enclosing him. “Ah, a girl after my own heart!” He picked it up, wrapping it around him, warmth and comfort bringing a smile to his lips. Then, he continued with the task at hand - making Cali happy once more. “It’s dark and it’s cold but you’re still lovely.” He sang softly, awkwardly laughing between words, he had never done this for someone before. “I’m getting old and more untrusting.” His heart growing all the more confident due to her reaction, Cali remained a safe place for him, and for that he was eternally grateful. “Take me for a ride, I won’t let you down, baby.” His eyes finally met hers, his fingers taking on a mind of their own as they strum over the chords. “I’ll be right at your side, even though you’re crazy.” However thankful he was for the blanket, the ultimate goal was to get inside, into the warmth of her arms. He paused, staring at her for quite a long time, “come on, Cali. What’s a guy gotta do to get inside? Not that I’m not thankful for the blanket - because I am.” He raised his arms up, the huge blanket clearly burying his small frame.

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His eyes darted across her face, studying her features for quite some time. Jax knew Cali well enough to know when she was holding back, this was certainly one of those times. Did he still care to know? His eyes locked with hers as she spoke, seemingly truthfully, which made it all the more difficult for him. It was too much for him to break down now, tell her all his true emotions. “Don’t act like you know me, Cali. That boy is dead.” He stepped towards her, holding eye contact. “Believe me, you won’t be getting to know this one.” He scoffed cruelly, looking away then, the air between them becoming a little too thick. “Fine, you may not be a whore, but you are certainly traitor and unworthy of anybody’s time. Especially mine.” Why he was still stood here, amusing this girl, he couldn’t say. Maybe, he was still a fool for her after all this time. “You know what they say, Cal. The truth will set you free.” Though he said it with a bright, sweet smile, the words left his lips in a threatening manner. How he so completely desired to destroy her life, as she had done to his. Unexpectedly, with everything torn little pieces, thrown across the floor for the world to see.

“Honestly it– well, it tends to make things more difficult.” He admits to her. Upon hearing Eloise’s name, he swallows hard. “O-Oh, you– you know Ellie?” Hid voice wavers. “Nothing…. nothing happened. I-I’m just a worry-wart.” He tries to brush all of his problems off and sweep them under a rug. He couldn’t have people knowing just how pathetic and out of control he felt– how would that affect his social climbing? No– he needed to be a charming and proper young man for the cameras. He can already hear his mother insisting he do so in his head. He shoves his hands into his pockets as he ambles close by Cali. “Damn, I really do need to calm down with some weed.” He laughs nervously, grateful for its legality and accepted nature as of not too long ago. “Anyway– w’what, uh– what business are you in, Cali? We should at least get to know one another if we’re living together, let alone calling each other friends.” Oliver grins softly.

A small smile found its way to his lips, just as he thought he would never smile again. His fingers danced effortlessly over the strings, creating a sweet tune. “Yeah, I could, but the point is to, kind of, sing to you?” She didn’t yell at him in absolute disgust at the sight of him, so that was a good sign. Maybe, just maybe it wasn’t too late. “I wrote you a song. Named it Cali.” He laughed softly, somewhat embarrassed at the stupidity of himself. “The lyrics are shit, so I’ll save you from that monstrosity. But the tune didn’t turn out so bad.” He was known for taking his time when writing music, but he had a sudden hit of inspiration due to the recent events in his life, most of them unfortunate. But somehow, in this moment, those worries were far from his mind. It was just him, Cali, and his guitar playing swiftly in the air. “Cali - Cali, Cali, Cali.” He sang playfully, a warmth spread to his heart, one he was afraid he would never feel again. But maybe, anything was possible with this girl by his side. However long she would remain there, though, was unknown.

alessia nodded her head as she listened to cali’s advice. she made some good points, that was for sure. “i guess that’s a good point. i just feel bad when i don’t interact that often. i care about my little group of fans and i don’t want to disappoint them. and it’s not about the money, people just ask for them all the time and a lot of people sell theirs anyway.” she opened her phone up to her instagram feed and showed it to cali, “like, does my feed look good enough to sell the presets i have? then again, i kind of like the idea of having a custom feed that no one else does?”

The girl smiled as Alessia spoke. She loved how kind and considerate Alessia was and Cali knew she could learn from her as much as she had mentored her. “You could never disappoint. I’m sure they’ll understand and be happy with what they get.” She smiled. “Although I also love seeing your face on my feed.” She winked. She loved the relationship she had with Alessia and how easy it was for the two of them to just talk about everything from their social life to their career. “I think your feed looks great! I mean what do you want to do with it?”

starter // @calihmu​

He craved to be in the warmth of Cali’s arms the moment he left Val’s presence, her news weighing heavy on his heart. The unfortunate events that occurred between them had made that all the more difficult though. So he decided to do the only decent thing he could do, his only gift in this life, to write a song. It wasn’t much, but it was the only thing he had to offer her, and perhaps the only way to get his true thoughts presented without making an absolute mess of things once again. She had to know how deeply sorry he was for the cruel things he had said to her, shamefully it’s not the worst thing he had ever said to someone. So here he was, outside in the cold, harsh air of the night with his guitar, standing outside her window desperately trying to get another chance. He threw a well placed stone at her window, a small sound rang throughout as it hit the glass, his attempt at gaining her attention. This was as cliche as he could get, on any other day he would surely end his own life, but somehow, he wasn’t the same person in this moment. Or maybe he wouldn’t be that same person ever again.

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Jax shook his head, anger filling his chest. He couldn’t even tell the truth from the lies when it came to Cali, that fact he despised. If he had been her first everything, then how could she throw it all away so callously? “Everyone told me you fucking left me for someone else. Do you know how shit that made me look?” Not to mention how it made him feel. But he wasn’t about to give that information up so willingly. “I can’t even defend you because that could very well be the reason. I have no fucking clue why you left.” He thought they were good together, that they were on the right track. Oh, how wrong he was. He had to convince himself that everything he had been told by others was true, that she had cheated, that he hadn’t been enough. It was the only way to let her go. “I don’t care. You’re dead to me.” He wished it was that easy, to just speak it into the air and have it simply be. But their time apart had proven it wasn’t. “What the fuck did I even see in you? I should have never given a dirty whore like you a chance.” A cruel and deliberate reminder that he knew her darkest secrets, just as she knew his. Why couldn’t she forget everything she knew about him, and he forget her just as simply in return?

He walked towards her, stride in his steps and a ruthless look on his face, eyes colouring a cold darkness. “I will never love you, Cali.” He spat, eyes red from the raw hurt of the drugs and from the sheer tugging Cali had on his heart. The things he spoke of held nothing of truth. But this was the price he would pay for protecting this girl. His sharp jaw pronounced as he clenched under the pure tension his body was feeling. “Don’t you understand that? I am not another boy for you to confuse your feelings with. I am the boy you will fuck for pleasure and then he wants you gone.” That is the role he played best, attempting to provide anyone with anything deeper was a fools quest. His voice was raising now, tears falling from his eyes, “this will never happen!” His hand gestures were getting wilder as his emotions continued to lose control. Cali would hate him forever after this conversation, but he would swallow the hurt and continue forth.

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alessia: FAIR ENOUGH

alessia: YESS I'LL GET MY PHOTO PRINTER, U GET THE FIRE!

“Dinner before sex?” Ruben repeats through something mixed between a laugh and a huff, amused by her request. “Nothing’s wrong with wanting that, babe. I just figured that wasn’t your thing. I mean, at least not with a guy like me,” Ruben teases as he pulls the blonde back in for another kiss, allowing his lips to linger on hers for a moment longer than necessary. His hand reaches over to brush away a stray hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear with a drunken grin. “You’re just being nice. Keep talking like that and my dick isn’t going to be the only thing growing tonight,” he laughs lowly as he places his hand on her hip, squeezing the clothed skin. He can’t help but playfully roll his eyes when she calls him soft. Ruben Rousseau wasn’t soft. Sometimes he just wasn’t thinking with his penis. “Oh, please. Do you have a thing for nice guys? Is that what you’re trying to turn me into? Gross,” he laughs lowly against her lips, pulling back for a moment. “But no, really. Why are you saying all this? You don’t have feelings for me, do you?”

“Well?” She begins, toying and fiddling with the bottle in her hands, tapping her hot pink acrylic nails against the glass. “What’s your gut say? I always try ‘n follow my heart. Some shit really do be complicated, so you gotta’ trust yourself and dive in.” She advises her friend with pursed lips. Although, she’s not sure how she feels about Cali crushing on Ruben. They were only friends– but at times it seemed as though they were more. However, Pamela finds herself disinterested in holding him back from other women. After all, she was simply his artistic muse. Nothing more. “Y’know… I’ve known Ruben for a few years, and… w-well, I know he ain’t the type to cuff a wifey.” She warns her. “Honestly…? It’s easy to catch feelings for such a stud.” She says quietly. “He’s got wandering eyes, but… he’s easily one of the kindest men I know.”

“Is it possible for my gut to say both?” Cali wasn’t one for picking, especially when she expected the two to break her heart. “Honestly, surprisingly enough Ruben is the safer option here...so him.” She sighed. She would rather be safe than sorry. “Yeah, trust me you don’t have to tell me twice. Weirdly enough though I ended things with him before coming on the show and he came back, so like maybe there’s something there. Or who am I kidding myself? It’s like...it’s them and then it’s me....” Cali said sipping her drink some more. She was not one for self confidence, despite the confidence she pretended to exude. “It’s just like...it’s sex but it’s also not just sex. I don’t know, dude.”

“He’s an asshole! Why the fuck are you protecting him?” A deep sigh. “I’m just a no good stripper to him, what the hell do you think?” She rolls her eyes. “It don’t even matter. I left that hustle behind me for a reason.” Pamela narrows her eyes. “Anyway– in love with two guys here already? You must be dick-matized.” She says light heartedly with a laugh. 

He inhaled sharply at her threat to go to Ruben, he couldn’t have that. “No! No. I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, okay? Just don’t… talk to him about this.” His sad eyes followed her every movement as he tried to escape this hole he had dug himself. “I was fucking high, Cali. I was being stupid. You can’t hold things I said during sex against me.” How easily the cruel words came to him was terrifying, but the fact he could lie to her like that was all the more concerning. “Him and I - we just kissed. And I felt… different.” He started pacing, head buried in his hands at the constant stress and anxiety in his nerves. “You can’t do this to me, Cali. You can’t just tell me you have loved me this whole time.” It wasn’t fair, even if it was true. A part of himself was mad at her, and even more so at himself. Their time had passed, why didn’t she understand that? 

“Girrrl…” She tucks her lipgloss away, playing with a strand of curled brown hair as she takes in the information Cali gives with eyes widening. “I been told you Jax Griggs ain’t shit…” She scoffs. “He thinks he runs the fuckin’ world with his daddy’s money– you shoulda’ seen how he treated me and the other hoes at the club when he was in town. He don’t know nothin’ about hustlin’.” She puts him down. “He wasn’t good enough for you, babe. I swear girl, these ‘lil boys ain’t worth our time.” Pamela scoffs. “They really do be havin’ worse periods than any chick.” A sigh as she swigs her beer finally. “Sounds messy. Woo, chile.”