*radio static gets louder*

The event itself is a huge annual project for me, it helps bring people together every year and help them learn new things and share experiences, and I take it very seriously. It's been the biggest thing I've had to manage for the past 4-5 years.

The panelist seems nice, and definitely was sincere and meant well at the time, which is why I don't name them or their panel to diss on (someone else could be harsher than I... and I don't want a big squabble). I myself am still a bit too shy to try and submit a panel myself yet-- I feel I couldn't put everything into good enough words yet-- so they did something big I couldn't, which is impressive! Their panel certainly helped someone out there to be sure, it just wasn't me. I got the wrong impression on what to expect from the title and description, which got me feeling sore at the time... I tuned in for one thing, got something else, and got salty about it. No one's fault, really. Maybe I should see if they've posted anything since then that'd help me out or not.

okay, let's start here: a huge part of the community are children, yes. that means most of the actual lifestyle-ish advice will be targeted towards folk still in school or just barely out of it. a 16 year old high schooler can't really give you advice on how to deal with your job (sorry, this sentence sounds kinda snappy but I can't seem to word it any better). I'm 22 and currently in university, living on my own with my boyfriend, we have to pay bills, manage the apartment, etc - advice for how to deal with shifts in school isn't helpful for me either and yeah, that kinda sucks, but those kids CAN'T give me advice on anything else lmao. also, from the POV of a teenager, anyone over Idk 25 (or even younger maybe) probably seems like a Real Adult and basically ancient. So naturally, those "old otherkin" are treated as community elders in a way, which makes sense because you very very rarely find nonhumans over 30 here on tumblr. doesn't mean they don't exist obviously, but they're probably on other websites and in forums. what I mean is (again, in a neutral way): if you feel weird in a community this young, maybe tumblr just isn't the right place for you. it's natural for generations to kind of, chill in seperate places because The Vibes of older and younger people are just different from each other. So, they will each find their own places and if you feel like the community here is too young for you, that's okay! but that doesn't mean the community is bad or "internet poisoned" - it's just not what you vibe with. what I'm mainly trying to say, is: I understand your disappointment, I really do, but instead of dwelling on this and seemingly forcing yourself to try and participate in a community that doesn't feel good to you, maybe you should try to focus your energy on finding places that DO feel nice and fitting.

on the definition of otherhearted: to my knowledge, the distinction is pretty clear. otherkin = identify as vs. otherhearted = identify with. I AM a werewolf but I see myself IN ravens. and about the whole "everyone had to figure it out for themselves" - yeah. that's the thing with identity after all. definitions and words can help to find ways to express what you feel, but you have to find out what you feel on your own. that does suck sometimes, true, but you saying you could learn more about yourself from a meet-up with other nonhumans than you could from reading essays just points this out. essays can give you words and insight in other's experiences but only you and your feelings can tell you what you are any which words might describe you. the same goes for coping mechanisms, what might work for others might not work for you. you can look for helpful tips online, but in the end you have to figure out how to deal with your urges at your workplace. I'm sorry, maybe I'm reading too much into your post, but that part of it just seems like you expect others to give you a definite guide on how to deal with your specific situation...

Lastly, I have to admit that I maybe took your post a tiny bit personal?? as in, I didn't feel attacked (that would be fucking pathetic anyway lmao) but I felt called to comment on it in a hopefully constructive way. Idk, something just doesn't sit entirely right with me when you call a panel someone put work into "useless garbage", just because it wasn't helpful to you personally. Also, I agree that a lot of discourse is pointless, but certainly not all of it - and you don't have to participate in it of course, but you just seem a little judgy towards people who do (and basically same thing with the comment on the "you're valid"-stuff, a huge chunk of it is annoying and useless, true, but just generally calling it stupid is... meh)

All that makes sense! I do find it strange though that when I was first getting into Tumblr alterhuman stuff, most of the more active community was 14-16somethings, and almost a decade later... it's still mostly 14-16somethings. Makes sense for new people to arrive, and for them to arrive at a certain age, but it's like... where did the would-be-adults-by-now go?? Did they realize they weren't otherkin and leave? Get scared off by people making fun of them? Also feel alienated by all the kids and go elsewhere...? It's strange to me that it's remained a community of mostly teenagers since like 2014 with seemingly no increase in percentage of adult alterhumans in all that time. I guess I could look elsewhere, I just like Tumblr and wish I wouldn't have to leave it to find a more fitting community... If everyone who thinks the Tumblr alterhuman community is too teen-centric leaves, then it'll always be mostly for teens here...! If the vibe is off, well... I don't see a lot of people cultivating different vibes. Moving my presence to Dreamwidth, Cohost, or some forum I've never browsed before is time and effort, and learning a new platform is as well. I've been on Tumblr far longer than I've had this blog, and so Tumblr is the easiest platform for me to do social things and feel immersed in a community most of the time. I'd still be on Tumblr regardless if I moved my 'kin stuff somewhere that might or might not have better vibes, stretching my attention and energy even thinner. Jumping ship is a big deal! It'd be nice to have more people stick around.

On the otherhearted thing: Sincere apologies, but I've heard that one before, and "strongly identifies with" is even counted under a few definitions of otherkin. Never really see anyone draw the line where "just relating" ends and otherhearted begins, without the implication that potential millions of average people are actually otherhearted without even knowing about alterhumanity. I've posted that particular gripe before iirc, but I also use otherhearted as an example because its usual definition is so vague, is rarely defined in a vacuum (it's nigh always "not as strong as my kintype" when someone describes their personal experience instead of saying what it's like without having a kintype), there's no one saying how to tell having a hearttype from just having such bad species dysphoria you just think you're not truly 'kin (which was my problem for a while!), and discussions about its definition just repeat the same thing you have and leave it there. Where's the progression, the otherhearted community on its own? I love the idea of otherheartedness and often wonder if I am such, but the vagueness of it all makes me wonder if it's just an idea-- a fun label-- to everyone explaining it even when they have hearttypes (not to invalidate anyone, I still believe it's A Thing, it's all just kept so unclear compared to otherkin)... Just one example of how the tumblr alterhuman community sometimes feels like going in circles for me.

I am aware that at the end of the day, it's up to me to figure out what works for me indeed. I just guess I wish there were more experiences from others I could read up on for reference... Helps to have someone say something-- maybe even to themself-- and go "I didn't think of that", even if it winds up not being exactly what I need. The more available to reference, the merrier! Even if it's not for my exact situation! Everyone says we all need to journal and post our experiences more, so I suppose I wish everyone (me included!) maybe practiced that, heheh...

Yeah, I may have been a bit harsh on that particular panel. I'm sure it was helpful to someone. At the time I watched it first, I just found myself feeling quite misled by its title and presentation in regards to what I expected it to talk about. Expectations versus reality was what got me so worked up with it, possibly even more than what they did talk about instead (I expected more... advice, but the advice was mostly internet stuff I already knew how to deal with). The panelist seemed nice enough, I just got annoyed when they never got around to what I listened in for (I'd have asked during, but I could only catch a recording). If someone else felt helped by it, well... that's an objectively good thing! No problems for me with such people-and-creatures.

Which is funny since, like you said, there's some posturing going on about who has been where the longest and how much weight that gives their input. Not a bad thing, but when all that's being discussed is terminology and personal feelings (along with the bloat from spam blogs just making aesthetics), it's kind of useless for someone trying to make actual changes to their lifestyle.

I'm disappointed to hear that about Othercon. I didn't go, but I expected a bit better than that.

Not gonna name the panel and speaker that let me down here since they don't seem like a bad person and I don't want them to get attacked or whatever... but I will say that while I can respect how Othercon doesn't need one to have a minimum experience/age/community presence in order to be a panelist, since new voices can be valuable! I just wish a better quality check had been done for a topic that's important to me at that time...