In an Age of Darkness, Light Appears

Me: “Hey, psst”

Deer: “What?”

Me: “Hey man, she’s just not that into you.”

Deer: “But she’s pretty, I really like her.”

Me: “Yeah, but she’s clearly not feeling it. And she’s honestly kinda mean.”

Deer: “Huh? Really?”

Me: “Yeah, did you hear what she said about Jessica?”

Deer: “What?”

Me: “She called Jessica a bitch.”

Deer: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, you can do a lot better.”

Deer: “Oh. . . . but I really like her. . .”

Me: “I know, but you don’t deserve that kind of energy. Besides, you know who really likes you?”

Deer: “Who?”

Me: “Jessica.”

Deer: “For real?”

Me: “Yeah man, you should totally ask her out!”

Deer: “Oh! She’s pretty too.”

Me: “Yeah she is!”

Deer: “Okay, I’ll go talk to her!”

Image credits: http://blog.adventurepublications.net/2024/01/white-tailed-deer-rut-season-begins/

“Mom”

“Eat your grass, Mal”

…

“Mom”

“Mom!”

“MOM!”

“What, Malachi?”

“There’s something over there! It’s LOOKING at us!”

“Huh? For heaven’s sake, it’s just a human, Mal. It’s not doing anything.”

“But it’s freaky!”

“Look at everyone else, they’re not bothered by it. Would Alice and Jordan be doing bath time if it was dangerous?”

“I guess not”

“We’re alright Mal. Finish your lunch”