The Gayest Ass

princess "complex"? hmph. I suppose it would seem rather complex to a commoner

princess "complex"? hmph. I suppose it would seem rather complex to a commoner

cartoon bully girl shoves me against a wall and goes "awww~ it thinks it's people~" but then i pull her aside and calmly inform her that i'm pretty sure i'm something else wearing the skin of a person and the more i describe it the more horrified and disgusted she becomes until finally she asks what i think i am underneath and i say. i dunno. but its probly something cool, right? and then she calls be a dweeb and shoves me against a wall again and asks me for lunch money. which i respond to with violent sobbing

She started kicking me and hitting me hard because I made her mad and i said "STOP STOP YOU'RE DAMAGING MY VESSEL" and she got really mad and told me to stop saying that and saying i'm a person and i insisted i wasnt and told her she should unzip my clothes and she called me a pervert and hit me more but eventually she did out of sheer curiousity and my body deflated and a small fox squirmed out of the gaps and looked up at her and she was really confused but then she decided the most sound option was to ask the fox for lunch money instead to which i responded with violent sobbing (fox)

Moral Of The Story: The Author Is Actually A Small Fox

Correct way to scratch a girl's back: she has to be on her knees between your legs with her face shoved in your bulge. For better access to her back of course

The pervert lesbian has offered to help scratch your back, will you accept Y/N

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time

anyone else get sick and fucking tired of making decisions. sometimes i just want to go pliant and pouty and be arranged and petted at. "puppy in a bad mood?" yes actually. "puppy want me to handle it?" yes, actually!

The ability to have nice conversations with strangers and especially store employees will save your everyday life from greyness

the trans girl who’s always scared is wearing a really cute outfit that’s a little outside of her comfort zone right now. you have to tell her that she’s pretty or she’ll explode.

reblog to touch the puppygirl

oh this is beautiful!

That final line!

I'm starting to think there is no single job that will ever meet all my needs, and also be tolerable over long periods of time.

I seem to have recently become the type of girl who will, in actual fact, kick her feet in excitement if she happens to be texting a charming young lady while in bed

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My expectations for an idealized partner are extremely unfair. I dream of a world where I can make it fair and agreeable.

hit us with the checklist bestie