* 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐋

They aren’t developed AUs

                   Then, until death itself comes,                                           no calamity need be feared.

as requested by @ambitionbled (it won’t let me tag you, sorry!)

CONCERN.

❝How much have you had to drink?❞

❝You could have fucking alcohol poisoning!❞  

❝Easy, there. Try to sit up.❞

❝I think I might’ve overdone it on the alcohol…❞

❝We’ve got to go get your stomach pumped.❞

❝I thought you said you were clean!❞

❝Yes, it is a big deal.❞

❝Let me drive you home.❞

❝You are NOT driving like this!❞

❝You are gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.❞

❝Drinking until you puke is not normal.❞

DRUNK.

❝Is this real life?❞ 

❝I want to go to sleep but I can’t find any sheep.❞

❝How do you show fish affection?❞

❝Taco Bell is open 24 hours, right?❞

❝Tequila is not my friend? YOU’RE not my friend.❞

❝Drunk I am not.❞

-glasses on head- ❝Where did I put my glasses?❞

❝How do I tell my parents I’m a mermaid?❞ 

❝I’m not even tired.❞

❝I should call my ex.❞

❝I’m not drunk enough for this.❞

❝Does playing Mario Kart drunk count as drunk driving?❞

-hugging the floor- ❝I’m trying to stop the floor from spinning.❞

❝Can we go out for fried chicken?❞

ANGST.

❝What’s the fucking point anymore?❞

❝Screw recovery. I want a drink.❞

❝I’m too sober for this shit.❞ 

❝I don’t give a shit what you think.❞

❝I seriously don’t feel too good.❞

❝I didn’t even have that much to drink.❞

❝Will you stop fucking interrogating me?❞

❝I can drive. I’m fine.❞

❝There’s a reason I drink so much.❞

❝You’re the reason I drink so much.❞

❝I’m only happy when I’m drunk.❞

FLUFF/FUN.

❝You’re cute, you know that?❞ 

❝You wanna get wasted?❞

❝I’m bar-hopping tonight, wanna come?❞

❝What are you drinking, and why aren’t you sharing?❞

❝I’m having a party for two.❞

❝You’re so hot.❞

❝I’m usually too chicken-shit to say this, but…I really like you.❞

❝I don’t want to kiss you with your alcohol breath.❞

*kisses on forehead*

*kisses on cheek*

                   Then, until death itself comes,                                           no calamity need be feared.

PERSONALS/NON-RP BLOGS DO NOT REBLOG

“Your ass hurt done.”

“I’m not even angry or sad I’m laughing my ass off.”

“She’s a bitch ass lesbian.”

“There’s a whole ass milk.”

“OUTBACK MAN!”

“This isn’t some kinda weird ass thing about bears with onions.”

“BRUH WHERES THE FUCKING RVS I DON’T SEE ANY??”

“I’m going to punch your dickhole.”

“WHY IS SIRI SO MEAN!?”

“Fuck you, ‘We Like Pizza’ is a BOP!”

“Apparently, hamsters can actually scream as a signal of distress.”

“My friends then informed me that the woman’s ashes had been arrested.”

*WHIPS OUT MILK BONG*

“I have a bowl of just whip cream and chocolate syrup.”

“My lungs have been yeeted.”

“I got yeeted by a jellyfish.”

“LAST TIME I HAD TO FUCKING SKILL SHOT YEET MY SUITCASE THROUGH THE WINDOW, THEN RUN & JUMP IN THROUGH THE WINDOW BC WE WANTED TO GET HOME QUICK.”

“WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS CALLED MY MOM GAY?!”

“I scared the cats while stomping around screaming ‘I’M GAY!’.”

*SWINGS DINOSAUR AROUND* “SO LONG GAY DINO!”

“Let’s go gays! Let’s go!”

“I’m gay for myself if I could marry myself I would.”

“YOU CAN’T PRAY THE GAY AWAY!”

“I want to punch somebody.”

“I sit, cold & alone with boiled eggs.”

“Why did I think headbutting a boiled egg was gonna break it?”

“CHEESECAKE IS FUCKING HELL!”

“Oh, what the fuck I’ve never actually seen windmills do windmill things this is scary.”

“OH MY GOD FUCK OFF CRICKET PHONE HEADASS WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE TO ME!!!!!”

“Oh man just till you HEAR about WORK OUT weDNESDAY!!!!”

“Also yes (y/n) the fucking garden salsa sun chips are my life.”

“I just heard an Aussie dude in the background & immediately was like ‘oh no’.”

“Oh my god…a coconut is a mammal…”

“This is so sad can we get 100 likes?”

“WEED APPRECIATION DAY?”