Doing My Best

winter

2021

Going from friends house

Kyoto

Around 2019/08/04~

Green green everywhere

During the night I can feel sadness creeping in. What do I want? This life or something else? To be alone here or there?

2018?

Visiting Japan trough memories.

Can I go back and just start from the beginning?

2020/?/?

I think of him, idealizing and still shaping him in bright soft light. Asking what could have been if?... Stupid decisions cause it won’t change anything and it will hurt me even more. I say to myself-leave it be. It was wrong. It was bad for you and you have suffered dearly. The best thing that you can do is to forget him forever. And I will. Yet I catch myself going back to past and remembering every bit of him. What would have happened if it worked out? Would life be easier? No yes

2020/02/?

So tonight is so long and lonesome. No wonder why I am going backwards to the past. I remember too much and I crave for tiniest bit of that pink mist that was floating in my head for months. I remember and remember and for the thousand times can’t get it off of my head. Now I know that something was real. At least my heart was real.

2019/08/12

Japan/ Fukui

The moon is beautiful isn’t it?

2019/08/13

Japan/Fukui

Per jauna

Per kvaila

Japan/Fukui

2019/08/13

I haven’t been posting in a ling time.

But today I felt how memories and pain from the past comes again. I feel like I lost something again.

Nagoya Japan

2019/07/14

Nagoya Japan

2019/07/14

Nagoya Japan

Nagoya Japan

2019/07/14

Nagoya castle.

Gold color is in the air. If you breathe in deeply you will smell luxuriousness

Nagoya Japan

2019/07/14

This is the best day!

Peachy evenings

2019/06/~

Japan/Fukui

I wish I could easily change what’s going in my heart but there are things I can’t control.

2019/06/15

Japan/Fukui

During these hot and humid days of summer I try to stop the time. I am at that point of my youth where nothing is happening and I am at peace. I need no lover to remind me how adorable I am. And I need no money to have fun. I am stuck in this circle of night and day. All I want is happiness to others.

But this mood swings back and forth too quickly. Now I see how pathetic I was and how silly I am now. I try to imagine myself as person worth others time and love but in the end all I have is bitter taste in my mouth.

2019/06/16

Japan/Fukui

Unreal colors and I feel like floating in the mist.