I don’t think I’ve ever been at such a low point in life. I’m sure covid has a lot to do with it. And I am facing old demons finally. And my health is shit in every way. Mental illness is no joke and it took me 31 years to realize it. Once my body started falling apart and I started getting gray hairs, I realized it’s time to take time for some self care instead of drinking and focus on @taylorswift’s lyrics and music more than I ever have before. When I heard the song This is Me Trying, I played it on loop for like 13 days. I hope that one day I can meet her to tell her in person that she literally saved my life. I went to that dark place. I’m still there. People still think I’m doing shitty as I try my hardest. I drove to the look-out (literally) and I’m still walking that tight rope, trying my fucking hardest not to shatter.