Caffeinated Chronicles

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A couple years ago I was introduced to the book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, which discusses four agreements that you should make with yourself in order to fulfill personal freedom. At the end of the day our own worst enemy is ourselves. The one agreement that has stuck with me the most and the one that I can’t seem to quite conquer is to not take things personally. If you live a ‘I don’t care’ lifestyle. Good for you. Now go fuck yourself. If what I just said bugged you or made you feel even a little uneasy then I hate to break it to you but you took it personally. Not taking things personally is easier said than done. I bet that you don’t even realize when you take things personally. For instance, when you're driving and someone cuts you off. Your reaction might be to honk, flip them off, yell or a combination of all three. I’m sure there are a million excuses you could come up with on why you reacted the way you did. It would all boil down to someone else’s actions that caused your reaction. I’m not saying that your reaction is wrong but I am saying that you took what the reckless driver did personally. You took it so personal that you had to react to it.

By taking things personally we are not able to live our own personal freedom. If someone calls you ugly. Don’t take it personal. If someone hits you. Don’t take it personal. If someone shoots you. Don’t take it personal.

How is that not personal?

How can you tell someone who has lived an abusive life that what someone else did to them is not personal?

As Mr. Ruiz mentions in his book, “nothing that other people do is about you. It’s about themselves.”

By taking things personally we make assumptions that people are living in the same world we are when in reality they are living in their own dream. We have made agreements with ourselves since we were younger. These agreements were passed down from our family, taught by others we encountered throughout our life, and some we constructed on our own whether we have realized it or not. Everyone has different agreements that they have made with themselves. What someone else says or does is based on their own agreements so even when it seems so personal. It’s not. By taking everything so personally we are living in our own hell. We create our own hell by hurting ourselves with taking things personally.

So what can you do?

The same thing I’m trying to do.

Not take anything personally.

Like I said before, it’s easier said than done. I’ve been working on this for the past couple of months. I’m not where I want to be but I can see progress. Now when I feel myself taking things personally I try to redirect my thoughts or simply ask myself why? I can truthfully say since trying to implement not taking things personally in my daily life that I have felt more free. By not taking things personally allows doors to open up to be who you are without the care or judgment from others because guess what? I don’t take what you say, do, or think personally.

Definition: lacking interest or excitement; dull  

Wake up, work, eat, sleep, repeat.