cables vents

↻... [loading emoji thing] the think is that ik people love me. i appreciate it and i DO feel it. it just,, like,, never feels *enough* ig ? i just,, like want constant positive attention and stuff and if something slightly bad happens i just plummet into REALLY negative thinking. ima be real. i. just really want a partner- i love my f/os and other things. maybe if i had wii u gamepad physically or actually made plushies of yellow and shii id feel better but. i just want to feel romantically loved again. that prolly sounds kinda stupid but. it made me really happy. sure when thinking back they were. kinda bad. i dont think id like to like date them again. even if i still like them. because i cant get them out my fucking head. they still made me feel good. i like feeling loved and i like thinking of having someone there for me. and cuddles. i like those. anyways. maybe IM bad though. like i feel selfish cause even though i like the people i feel like i just want to be happy even though ik thats not true. like i want to be happy i mean- but i also want whoever could be there to be happy to. im sidetracked. sorry.

so basically. its the same as always. i want to feel loved and shii even though i know i am but it isnt enough. cable wants to be dead. cable feels like a bad person. cable is really fucked in the head.