My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because heβs bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it.Β
-βBabe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skinβ
-After stealing all of the blankets:Β βThis is my right as a humanβ
-After I take the blankets back:Β βI donβt want your freedom, America. Just blanketβ
-Sometimes he just saysΒ βHello?β as if heβs answering a phone call
-One night he just saidΒ βCabbageβ which is weird because he doesnβt know the english word for that when heβs awake.Β
-After spooning me:Β βYou have a nice buttβ
-βWho is that in the corner?β (terrifying)
-βWatch out for the red ladyβ (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like heβs speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket toΒ βeverywhereβ and then just saidΒ βhello?β after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: βThis is MY yogurt, Satanβ