c.d.

“I take much pleasure in being alone but there is also a strange warm grace in not being alone.”

“Look, let me put it this way: with me, you’re number one and there isn’t even a number two.”

"I have survived everything but I fear that I cannot survive myself"

“It wasn’t my day. My week. My month. My year. My life. God damn it.”

“You’re allowed to focus on yourself. Read a book without feeling guilty. Turn up your favorite song. Every day is yours.”

“Well, the rain had stopped but the pain was still there.”

“To choose the truth requires courage more than honesty.”

But for the moment, we’re alive. Which is why we have to live. Which is why we have to protect our time, our dreams, our spirit. We can’t give it up piece by piece. We can’t start dying before our time.

“I won’t cry though I will want to cry. Though I will hate myself for not crying.”

“I wish I had a someone who would observe me silently, who would capture all my habits and quirks, and still love me. Someone that would get lost in how my fine features define my face, while smiling or crying, and still love me.”

“I never said that I was beautiful but I thought that I was pretty at least a little, at least enough to save me the last sugar cube and leave the light on for me at least pretty in that little orange dress, and under the yellow, red, green candy lights at the roller rink sweet, and lonely, like a low hanging mango and no summer ants eating me from the inside but I have cried too much tonight for me not to be a princess with her nightdress dipped in hot snail slime and her cloud heavy head on the chopping block, the stars are crying so all the girls rolled up their jeans and ran beside the old sheep dogs ate their silver lockets whole dipped their hair into the magma heart of Mars and melted like witches in Oz, and fuck you, get bent, eat your heart out I will never be a girl like a girl is supposed to be.”

“When I was young I asked more of people than they could give: everlasting friendship, endless feeling. Now I know to ask less of them than they can give: a straightforward companionship. And their feelings, their friendship, their generous actions seem in my eyes to be wholly miraculous: a consequence of grace alone.”