SEASON ONE: EVA

- you have to figure out who you are as a person before you can offer yourself to others

- learn to trust the people you love

- earn the trust of the people you love

- never turn down the chance/the idea of meeting new people (vilde and sana)

- lisa’s laugh is the purest thing in this world and i love her

- MARLON’S EYEBROWS COULD PROVIDE SHADE FOR A SMALL SUBURBAN TOWN

SEASON TWO: NOORA (my favourite season)

- everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always.

- if you believe you have been sexually assaulted go to the police straight away

- confide in those you love

- THAT NOORA IS MY FUCKING STYLE ICON

- thomas’ smile. need i say more?

- about halfway through this season, i knew i wanted to learn the language and that i wanted to go to norway, and possibly live there one day.

- that “nei, vilde.” would be part of my everyday vocab (and quite the conversation starter for people who haven’t seen the show!)

- mennesker trenger mennesker. i live by this now. it’s brought me so much closer to the people in my life. 

SEASON THREE: ISAK 

- okay. first. TARJEI. SANDVIK. MOE. 

- never be closed minded towards learning about different mental illnesses

- not being sure of your sexuality is 100% okay

- eskild’s entire speech completely changed my life.  

- all the parallels to romeo + juliet re-sparked my love for filmmaking

-  livet er nå

- MAGNUS. MY SON.

- alt er love

SEASON FOUR: SANA

- jealousy is the most toxic human emotion and it sucks

- made me realise how important faith is to those who have it. before this i was such an asshole towards people who subscribed to a religion, and it makes me sick to look back on it. i’m not religious for many reasons, but i believe those who are are better off than me. 

- MARLON’S ENTIRE CLOSING MONOLOGUE  IS GOING TO BE PERFORMED AT MY FUNERAL I STG.  

CARNATION:If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?

JASMINE:What color looks best on you?

FOXGLOVE:Name three facts about your family?

ALLIUM:What’s the best thing you can cook?

ORANGE BLOSSOM:If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?

CALLA LILY:If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?

POINSETTIA:Favorite holiday dish?

OXLIP:Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?

PRIMROSE:Favorite kind of soup?

DAFFODIL:What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?

ROSE:Are you currently in love with someone?

AMSONIA:Would you ever become a vegan?

PEONY:What’s your favorite hot beverage?

TULIP:For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?

MYRTLE:Do you like going on airplanes?

HIBISCUS:Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?

ZINNIA:Who was your best friend when you were six years old?

POPPY:What color was your childhood home?

HYDRANGEA:Starbucks order?

VIOLET:Do you like where you’re from?

LOCUST:What was your favorite book as a child?

RHODODENDRON:What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had?

QUEEN ANNE’S LACE:Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?

MAGNOLIA:Favorite kind of candy?

ASTER:Would you rather be cold or hot?

MARIGOLD:Do you listen to what’s on the radio?

HELICONIA:Do you like when it rains?

AZALEA:What’s a movie you cried while watching?

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.