a KISS with a FIST★

I was clearly hella hyped when the latest trailer dropped and mY GORGEOUS AND UPDATED QUEEN WAS SHOWN ON SCREEN FOR THE FIRST TIME! It really did remind me of how much her existence matters to me??? And, for a while, I thought I might have been ready to face this blog again. Unfortunately, after giving it some thought and talking to a couple of friends about it, I’m not sure that I am ready to return yet… or ever. I don’t really WANT to use that word, but I also don’t want to make promises I cannot keep by suggesting otherwise. 

It took me some time to understand what exactly it was that made it so heckin difficult for me to write here like I used to, and I think I’ve figured it out in what is probably the best way I’ll ever be able to explain it: This community just doesn’t feel like home anymore.

And this isn’t anyone’s fault! No one here has made me feel unwelcome whatsoever. I’m just ready to move on for now, I think. I see my dashboard and feel like there’s no place for me there (wow there is really NO WAY to say that without sounding tragic,  huh? LMAO But again, I promise that this does not stem from a negative place at all)

So, as of right now, this blog is officially retired, I guess. I may or may not return when the game releases?? It’s unlikely, but not exactly impossible.

Either way, thank you so much to everyone I’ve ever interacted or spoken with here! And to those I may not have had the chance to speak with, but continued to grace my dashboard anyway, y’all have been amazing. And even though it was hilariously short-lived, I cannot express how genuinely grateful I was that so many people celebrated my brief return. That means a lot to someone like me.

“I feel trapped.”

HE’LL SOMETIMES CATCH a glimpse of her on the battlefield, somewhere within all the  c h a o s, the way she commands the space & her enemies like they’re merely pawns on a game board. And he’ll sometimes  w o r r y  about her unassuming stature, her lack of a weapon, the way she lets her fists do all the dirty work, even when he knows he shouldn’t concern himself. From the time it takes for him to  w a r p  from one daemon to the next, she’s already dusting off her gloves, readying herself for more. 

          It’s fine, she says. Maybe so ——— but that doesn’t mean he likes it very much.

WITH A FROWN, HIS GAZE shifts just a  f r a c t i o n  of an inch, from deep blues & purples to soft brown. Fingertips linger where they are led, rough, battle-worn skin against the smoothness of her lips. Then they slide away, to  c u p  the side of her face, head bowing down so that foreheads can meet, a low sigh hovering in the space between their lips. 

            “ Guess I can’t protect you from everything, huh? ” he mutters. “ Much as I’d like to. ”

sora vc: my friends are my power // @rhapscdos

I actually got sent lots of these and tbh that’s great and it makes me so happy so lemme start of with this loser-user @lockethart. I jk. Oto is not a loser, Oto is the shit ok. Legit, for real, hands down, real talk, no filter, straight up. I love Oto so much and I’d make hell rain down on Earth if anybody tried to start shit. I’m that way ok, with everybody I consider buddies. I’ve honestly admired Oto since the day I was following. I can hear Oto a mile away rn: I BARELY POST SHIT YOU LOSER! Ok but that’s not the point or got anything to do with it. Technically the first time we had any sort of interaction (ooc or ic) at all Oto sent me an ask of Tifa booping Cloud’s nose and I remember pretty well cause I was like omg what a cute ask to send to Cloud and why is someone as awesome as Oto even wanting to interact with a lowly peasant like myself??? Ok so the first time we started to talk was when I posted some DNT stuff and Oto like immediately hit me up with like a: I know we’ve never talked before but NT has me so hyped I gotta scream about it!!! Also hi! Honestly it made me laugh, not in a bad way or anything. I know how much it even takes to approach someone you wanna get to know a little bit? (I struggle with that too) So it meant a lot. It made me very happy too cause I’ve always wanted to approach and talk to Oto but I never knew how. I also thought I was too lame and that i could possibly come off as annoying so there was that too. And to be real here I still worry about it lmao but I’m grateful for Oto.

Oto loves Tifa so much and like I can even go days just reading what she’s got in mind and like how much she means to her. Oto’s so amazing and I just really and genuinely feel so lucky to even be someone she considers to hit up from time to time regardless of the why y’know? She’s like that person I’m thankful to see around, we’re talking or not. She’s got such a wonderful sense of humor and she makes me smile and laugh a lot, not a day where Oto sends me a message and I’m not smiling. I’m not trying to be cheesy, I’m being for real, like that’s a freaking fact ok that’s how much of a wonderful person Oto is. I’ve also gotten to see some of her writing too and it’s great! Her portrayal of Tifa (who I also love so much) is amazing! I hope to one day be able to thread with her and *looks at smudged writing on hand* Theresa. But really Oto is great, jokes, shenanigans, the plotting, the screaming about our muses, and just everything ok? Oto’s an amazing person who I’m always gonna be there for you, always have her back, since all she’s done was show me an immeasurable amount of kindness and filled my days with laughter and smiles. I hope to one day return the favor.

Throat tightening up Eyes burning with tears Heart aching