Struggle & Grow.

They say, “if you love them, set them free.” I’m letting you go… As much as it hurts, it’s the only right thing to do. For your sake and for my sanity.

In the beginning, I could not see past our friendship. In the past, we were just each others go-to person. I had you and you had me. There were no feelings involved. But as you pursued me, I saw how sincere you were. I was so afraid. Afraid because I’ve been hurt countless times in the past but at the same time, I felt safe, that was the scariest part. I didn’t want to let my walls down. “I just want to hug them,” you said. I believed in them wholeheartedly. And that’s where I failed, miserably. I had so much certainty in your words that I didn’t need actions for you to prove it. We were both so effortlessly happy, what more proof did I need? We both just clicked on all levels. We were so compatible. I found things in you I never found in anyone else.

But things started to change. What I thought was, wasn’t. I did everything, ultimately everything, to prove my loyalty and faith to you. I wanted to show you how much I cared for you with every inch of me, but for some reason it just wasn’t enough. I was fighting with myself internally to just give up and let go, but I couldn’t without a fight. I’ve given almost four months of fighting for you. But I felt like ‘she’ was the reason. It killed me, and literally broke me to pieces each time I thought about it. I questioned it countless times. “Why?” “Won’t this damage you even more?” “Did she say something to you to get you back?” “How?” “How did you give up on us so easily?” After I asked all those questions. I began to question myself. “Was I not worth it?” “Did I not make you happy?” I really believed with all of me that I could finally make you genuinely happy, that you wouldn’t have to worry anymore.