don't sass me.

              WELL,

                             they're never gonna get me--

                                                    like a 

                                               BULLET

                                through a flock of doves

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it could have been careless on his behalf to allow the other the name of said organization, but once again, it was something they would be bound to stumble across eventually. but jesse allows for this moment to stay lighthearted, for it may be the first in a while. and that was jesse being optimistic about it.

❝ bigger the head, bigger the brain, right? ❞ an amused expression still playing on his features. ❝ surprisin’, i know-- i get ‘peabrain’ a lot, but doin’ business and fightin’ takes a lotta’ thinkin’ than most believe. the nerve o’ some people... ❞ 

❝ learn to cherish every second o’ shut-eye, if that’s true-- don’t want you goin’ days without sleep, ❞ nothing stops jesse from naturally being protective, as it is supposed to be his job here. or, rather, goal. if he can prevent one demise, you damn best believe he’s going after it.

❝ we’re headin’ up to one o’ my contacts up ahead. get us some papers to get ‘cross the border, aliases to not draw any suspicion. we’ll have to wait a day or two, but then we’ll be on the train straight for dallas. sound good? ❞

although jesse’s cybernetics were nothing close to what genji had done (and, as far as the cowboy knew, was still a work-in-progress) it still took plenty of time to cope with his loss. anyone in his position would be insane to not react similarly, knowing that you aren’t exactly 100%... authentic. a part of him finally began to understand the kind of frustration that genji had been facing, always introspective, bordering grimness and even cynical. 

the reassurance definitely helped, even if it only soothed him slightly. he had no doubts that angela knew just the right things to say and just how to explain it. she was right, of course, that losing arm wouldn’t be the end of the world. it just meant that everything was barely getting started. a warm palm cups his cheek as he raises his gaze. jesse stays silent, but not in a way to express doubt; he had nothing but faith in the woman, confidence that she would do nothing but try her hardest.

she’s just that type of person to never give up. stubborn, really.

her promise puts his mind at ease, the tension releasing from his shoulders along with a breath he hadn’t realized he’d held in for so long. a smile creeps on his lips at the pinch on his cheek, uneasiness lifting from the air.

the naivety that once flooded his gaze and expressions when he first arrived had grown into something much more; dare he say that he’d consider himself wiser now, and not just the brawn with no brains back in his teenage years.

though JACK and GABE were always that constant, their leaders and family all the same, the situation wasn’t faring well for either of them. this, JESSE noticed, of course; but he had to be completely honest with himself, with angela. this wasn’t about feeling sorry for them, or taking pity on their stress.

❝ you care ‘bout ‘em. i do too, ❞ everyone cared for each other in their own way. ❝ everyone knows i would’a been a nobody if it weren’t for REYES. ❞

❝ on second thought... not much o’ a family guy myself, ❞ he feigns an expression of nervousness and pure horror at hinoka’s mention of her father, but laughs it off quickly afterwards. never really had the chance to meet anyone’s parents, the more he thought about it.

the cowboy shrugs as he’s still wearing a smug grin on his face, upon seeing her roll her eyes.

he plucks off his hat from the crown of his head and plops it down onto the other with a solid pat. ❝ there y’go. now both o’ us are happy, ❞ he pats again as they continue. he wouldn’t mind having to deal with a darker tan...

not a single doubt passed jesse’s mind that angela would not take well to the idea he was hinting towards. after all, like she said, every life saved was a victory, and sometimes victories are made by retreating to ride out the storm. jesse didn’t want to face the possibility that one day, he might not come back from a mission.

a lost arm had snapped him out of that delusion.

however, what he truly didn’t expect was for her to go as far as to aid him in his attempts to leave. the fingers taking his wrist were warm, soothing, and instantly felt nothing but acceptance and safety. she just had that charm about her.

❝ you’d do a thing like that? for me? ❞ he didn’t really believe his own two ears at first-- the benefits of dealing with a leader that was so headstrong it was unbearable. ❝ i don’t wanna jeopardize a mission by havin’ them be a man down so short notice. our numbers are already small ‘nough as is... ❞ in conclusion, he didn’t want his disappearance to be the cause of more deaths. he wouldn’t be able to deal with the guilt...

everything just felt quiet. too quiet, but you can’t blame the cowboy and his paranoid way of thinking. reyes always taught him to keep an eye open, that anywhere can be a battlefield if the battlefield is brought to you. he’d notice that the cyborg indeed wasn’t as... anxious as him, so perhaps he should think the same? but in the back of his mind, his paranoia gnaws at him as he eases into his seat.

❝ y’want the real answer or the fake one? ❞ he finally tears his gaze from the window, making an internal agreement to calm down. no one knows they’re here... at least... they shouldn’t. ❝ real answer: not so much. i gotta bad feelin’ ‘bout the upcomin’ job, but ‘s not like reyes to listen to someone like me, ❞ drinks eventually come around and jesse grips tightly around his glass. drinking here, in a deserted bar... really didn’t put him in the best mental state, either.

❝ fake answer: i’m just enjoyin’ the liquor. ❞

if this was the usual standards for a vacation, then it’s safe to say that jesse  was always on a vacation, but avoiding the killjoys trying to put his vacation to a swift and quick end.

❝ i like to think i’m the kind o’ man you can bring home, show to your mother, ❞ he’s winking now as a hearty chuckle escapes his lips. ❝ i ‘preciate the compliment... huh... handsome... i like the sound o’ that... ❞ it wouldn’t be the first time being told he was attractive, but it still never got old.

[ previous post ] ~ @sworn-to-protect·

there is no doubt about it that angela ziegler was one of the agents in overwatch that did far more than anyone ever expects. she reaches above and beyond and everyone knows that, wanting only the best for both her patients and the soldiers out in the field. that doesn’t go without saying that she wouldn’t mind avoiding the fight altogether if possible.

he knows of the pleading she’d made to jack, to ana, to everyone-- but it wasn’t like anyone was going to listen to a doctor only there to heal everyone’s wounds. it was sad, it was stressful, and it was harsh; but that was the reality of the situation. for all requests to fall on deaf ears was simply humiliating... and jesse just felt done with it.

❝ i lay in my bunk every night hopin’ we’re not sent off for another mission, ❞ his features soften as he tears his gaze from hers to focus staring at his feet on the floor. ❝ i used t’be excited for ‘em. knowin’ we’d be hittin’ the enemy right where they least expect it, y’know? ❞ jesse’s head hangs low. ❝ now i feel... i feel like every mission... it’s a deathwish. ❞

he’s shaking his head and closing his eyes, squeezing them shut. ❝ angela, i liked stickin’ ‘round ‘cause i felt like i was makin’ up for my past mistakes. but now? it’s like... some kind o’ higher bein’ is trynna get us all killed. ❞

to be perfectly honest, jesse doesn’t know what to believe. back in his glory days of blackwatch, jesse wouldn’t be the interrogator. in fact, he’d just be sitting behind the one-way glass, arms crossed with an unfazed expression as the higher-ups would be the ones slamming their hands on the desk demanding a confession. so this... this was all new to him.

years of watching someone do something did not equal years of experience, and that much jesse knows.

now away from the restraint of tents, he’s reaching for a cigar in a pouch attached to the side of his belt, lighting it swiftly. he had not taken a notice that he may be walking a little too quickly for her for the moment, but maybe it was the graveness of the situation that caused him to be a bit absent-minded.

❝ i like ‘yer thinkin’, ❞ he praises towards her placement of trust as he places the cigar at the corner of his lips, viewing a portable holographic map while they move. ❝ i know it’s a whole shock to the system, leavin’ behind everythin’ you know. but you’ll be back. ❞ the seriousness that was evident in her voice did not go unnoticed from the cowboy, as shown by his reassurance.

the heat of battle is where blood is shed, tears wept-- the stench of sweat filling the air from bodies fighting as though it would be their last fight. for many, certainly; and it should be a given that anything can happen out in the battlefield. in all of jesse’s years, not once would the thought ever occur in his mind that he’d be short a limb. he’d remember the bullet clenched between his teeth, the searing pain at his side on places he didn’t even know he could hurt. the scientist tried her best to heal the wound, a stub of what was left-- but it’d still hurt. the ride back to HQ was grim, silence in place of what used to be small chit-chatter, whether it be of annoyance or of the mission itself. but there was nothing left to be said of what happened... and the team knew that.

he had left blackwatch shortly after getting the prosthetic, of course; allowing time to heal the wounds and leave behind a scar of the deeds he had done. but he knew he needed time to move on, and that was the hardest part.