never fuck with girls like u

mat: stone cold fucking sober bc ur local plug actually did something productive

mat: also congrats

he’s missed lou a lot. more than he cares to admit to anyone, and he’s honestly so fucking scared. when things like this happen, he’s always worried that his friends will disappear, leaving him out to dry in his loneliness. with lou, things have never been like that. it always seems lou is ready to come to his rescue, and with each phone call he wonders if he’s closer to their last. “ of course not !! now hurry up !!” there’s a childlike energy about him, something he hasn’t possessed in a long time. he’s been gone so long, gone through so much, and for once in his life mat doesn’t feel like the pressure to be something he’s not is crushing him. he’s allowed to be raw, but he’s also allowed to be something more than the angry boy with too much time and too much money.

“ i hope not.”

mat has never been this starkly sober in his life, and he’s happy to finally be out of rehab. his mom picked him up and dropped him off at home, a drive filled with misty eyes and happy proclamations of love. he can pretend his skin doesn’t fucking itch with a desire to destroy himself all over for that ride, but as soon as he arrives back in his house, he pours himself a cup of tea and scoops up his excited pup in his arms to distract him. he calls lou almost instantly his phone pressed between his shoulder and his ear. “ can you come over ?? i miss you and i need to tell you something.”

“ me ?? get angry and do something rash ?? NEVER.”

“ dead.”

“ even if it kills me.”

mat: i'm getting out of here today so... if you're around i'd love to see you

mat: would it be too much if i asked u to check on her and my siblings

mat: idk i dont hide it just look around

mat: go to my house and flush all my coke

“ technically i just wrote it, but i’m over boyfriend. i just don’t think it’s worth the hype. “