to err is human

he just didn't get it, did he..?

for a painstaking handful of seconds, miri only stared at the other; stock still and frigid. he watched as caio winced, as pain colored his expression and drove him to curling into himself. as if the action would stave off the waves of hurt that he'd endured. miri couldn't find any pity for him. likewise, there was no real joy in seeing the other experiment hunched and hurting. for the most part, he felt very little in the way of being moved in any direction. the most prevalent thought in his mind now was just how boring this all was - how he'd kill for some chewing gum, if only to have something to do.

"you're kinda pampered, huh?" it came out like a question, but he obviously didn't care for an answer. "you're handler's pretty soft on you. treats you nice? nice enough ta let you out long enough to play doctor..." it was still a pretty wild concept to miri, one that he hadn't made his mind up about: should he laugh at caio, or should he be jealous of him? since their respective owners were working together (for now), it probably wouldn't be that big of deal for miri to run at the mouth a bit. . .

he got comfortable where he stood, propped up against a cold metal counter, pale arms draped loose over a slim chest.

"all that was pretty standard entech testing. if anything, you should be happy they didn't personally cut you open." he drawled his latter sentence, as if he were giving the other information that should've been well known. one errant hand gestured languidly. "your dr... dae, yeah? pretty sure he's the one who said not ta be too rough with you."

another mean smile curled at his lips.

"maybe you should thank him later." though he didn't laugh this time, there was nevertheless a sort of laughter in his words. treating this all like it was a joke, just like caio had just accused him of. wasn't it, though? wasn't their lot in life just one big, unfunny joke? perhaps caio wasn't in on it, too caught up in pretending to be a part of the audience, but miri had never been so disillusioned as to believe he was the one in control. no... they were both but puppets being played with, for the enjoyment and morbid fascination of both their puppeteers and the degenerate few, so lucky as to have front row seats. this too, their little backstage break, was just another performance; the cameras that stared unblinkingly with their one red eye said as much.

He listens to Miri chastise him — lecture him — as though there was fault to be found in finding this entire experience unpleasant. Pampered coded as an insult. Standard suggesting that this should be the norm for them both. The notion that he should be grateful that he wasn’t gutted or was shown “mercy” is ludicrous. To be ripped from his apartment and thrown into an inescapable pit is nothing deserving of gratitude; to say nothing of the reason they were both there.

If he had the breath to bite back or argue immediately, he would. However, the most he could do at present is just breathe and focus on not aggravating his injuries too much before he stood. The other’s stance is clear; trying to make him see “reason” is a moot point.

He didn’t care — not about whatever the fuck this was, certainly not about Caio, and whatever he could possibly gain from arguing would only serve to exhaust him more.

The raven stares at Miri for a couple moments more, even as the other male’s attention drifts up towards one of the cameras that dotted the corners of the room. It’s not long until his gaze drops, though, and he heaves himself up from his curled position. He’s a bit unsteady on his feet, but that matters less to him ( at present, at least ) than being able to shuffle over to some other corner of the room and use the wall to keep himself upright.

“I would’ve been better of if you hadn’t held back.” he says after a couple breaths, “And if you knew any better, you would’ve wish that this experience killed you too. But good for you... they can count on you to listen.”

Kisumi x Caio

Oh. Shit, he just did exactly what some of his own fans have done to him, didn't he? He shifts to pull up his cap some so his face is more visible. There's color creeping up his neck from being flustered at his own fumble, but he tries not to look wholly unfriendly. Till isn't unaware of their own resting bitch face at this point, enough people have pointed it out.

He finds himself relaxing a bit easier now with the other’s cap lifted a bit, confirming his suspicions. The fellow musician doesn’t relax entirely but it’s enough to where he doesn’t seem as on edge with Till now. He casts a glance over to their surroundings — as though out of caution — before looking back and nodding.

“No — I understand. I was just… unsure.” Yeong-su then says slowly, “In my experience, people tend to act a bit strangely when it comes to music tastes…. Or what they think is the appropriate music preference.”

— and him enjoying anything other than what’s expected of him would always come as a shock. In the same vein, rock artist enjoying his work could also elicit that same measure of shock.

“I, ah…. I really enjoyed your performance. A lot of the songs played tonight are ones I play myself frequently.”

Honestly, when I think of him in any context, it's always in service of his partner. He may want to have some measure of control during sex, but only the control that he's been allowed to have, if that makes sense. So it only goes to a point precisely because he is playing a role that his partner wants but it's not necesaarily what he desires. There may be some gratification in watching his partner enjoy themself and more so in giving them pleasure, but playing that role doesn't gratify him much. He doesn't get that much out of it.

He's commonly in the mindset of pleasing as opposed to being pleased, which he is trying to unlearn.... slowly. I have mentioned it in the past in one post that i honestly really like because it's... a role for him. He doesn't negatively about it but it is a fraction of what he desires or needs to feel fufilled.

And its like kinda strange because he is into manhandling. Is into just... grabbing and holding his partners and can be very firm, but it's not from a place of having control or wanting to pin them down. Or wanting to be pinned. Tbh, its more from a place of want and the desire for contact. Very touchy, but doesn't do more than that ( doesnt feel up or grope his partners very often, if at all ) because in his head, he needs that permission. And i think that lines up with his personality in that Yeong-su can be a hardass but authority he has is given to him as opposed to him taking it for himself.

Its not to let loose and forget himself. It's permission to want and that its okay to do so. It is the contact and the warmth and the pressure. He wants to touch, to pull, to drown himself in these sensations with his partner. That isnt to say that it can't happen if he was strictly dominant, but more that it... just doesn't. Because he wants that to be shared.

When his hunt comes short of finding the cowardice he expects, bitterness nestles in his throat. It's dry and powdery like he'd been forced to swallow a lump of chalk. Deluded or not, Caio, to him at least, meant it, and that makes him uncomfortable. His world exists under the rules of survive and thrive. Being selfish with your life meant running a lot more than he tends to admit. It's something he prefers to avoid thinking about, yet it's the buzz of a gnat in his ear. ... Does that make his way of living cowardly?

A faint twinge of ozone lingers in the air, then fades. Beneath his shades, in the depths of his listless gaze, a sliver of blue glints. When their explanation concludes, he shrugs it off. The sensation doesn't go with. It'd be better for him if he could pick a fight, throw some shit, and yell, but... as much as he wants to, he doesn't. If there's one thing he does realize... he won't have to. Caio, like snow, would linger and melt away, inevitably, and all he'll have is the soft chill to remind him he'd been alive at all. Bummer. That's his lot in life.

"Makin' fun of me?" Making a point of jabbing his finger towards them, he snorts. "Words cut deep, man. Next time a monster comes stompin' yer monster chow, good sir."  

He caught it — a whiff of something burning and the air itself heating up. It’s brief but there. For a moment, his body is caught between recognizing that said heat is external ( and not internal ) and wondering if it too should respond it kind. Yeong-su does not — he cannot, for no reason — but the reaction, too, is there.

Hazel eyes drop down to the offending finger that prods at him, flicking back up not soon after. It’s then that the raven fixes the man with furrowed brows and a judgmental looking tilt of his head. It’s then followed by by the slightest furrow at Kai’s tone of voice. The expression doesn’t stay for very long but he has to make a point to express how displeased he is at the misinterpretation.

“I didn’t realize that I was speaking for you as well as myself in answering that.” he then says, “If I had known that, I would’ve said more.”

With a shake of his head, he continues. “I’m speaking of my own life… not yours. Running is not easy, and staying hidden is even less so. I don’t know what that means for you, and I won’t even begin to suggest whether or not it’s easier for you to do so.”

“And if we’re talking about monster encounters, you would leave your charge to defend himself? On purpose?” A purposeful once over is cast in Kai’s direction. “I’ll make note of that for next time.”

modern: powerless; this man is calling yeong-su every variation of ma cherie he can manage, in every language he can manage that happens to have similar word pronunciations. it will always be his go-to, the day-to-day, but... strangely, i think he'd use other terms of endearment, like babe, mon coeur, darin (japanese), ti or 'tite- (cajun) ahead of his name... in the end, he rather prefers yeong-su's name, though i think that may come from a coping skill he learns in therapy. he will use every pet name under the sun before he'll say it, unless things are serious and he needs to.

main: cardworld; but this verse is so much more simple and straightforward, because all the words loux will have to describe yeong-su... ah, is linivè, and that's the most important one of all. here, while not the only pet name he'd use, it is the one he will use the most often. (context below for the word, for those curious or don't remember).