millie

The studio was warm when you stepped inside, heels clicking loudly against the polished floor as you walked over to the chair. Soft lights kissed your cheeks as you sat down and smiled towards the woman who was standing behind the camera.

“Hello Reader, thank you so much for joining us today.” She greeted as she crossed the threshold of tape to come and shake your hand.

Smiling you stood back up again to meet her hand halfway, “thank you so much for having me!”

After the quick and brief introduction you both made your way back to your respective places in front and behind the camera.

She adjusted a couple of the buttons before turning back to you, “all we need is a quick intro, then we can get straight into the calls.” She smiled at you, “is that okay?”

Beaming up at her you nodded, “oh yeah that’s perfect thanks!”

You crossed your legs while manoeuvring your skirt so it covered your thighs fully.

Looking towards the camera you painted on a smile before speaking, “Hello! I’m Reader and today I’m going to be prank calling my friends and family.” You laughed lightly, “this is phoning it in with Elle.”

They then asked you to talk to the camera about your history with prank calling.

You looked up for a moment, trying to think back. "Erm..." you laughed quietly. "I don't really remember doing it that much, to be honest."

You tapped a finger against the arm of your chair before another memory surfaced.

"Actually, there was one time me, Sophie and Maisie were on set and decided it'd be really funny to prank call some of our Thrones co-stars." You smiled, already shaking your head. "We were absolutely awful at it."

A laugh escaped you at the memory.

"I remember Richard just interrupted us halfway through and went, '...Is this Reader, Sophie and Maisie?' You buried your face in your hands for a second. “We just sat there, like full blown stuttering and he goes, ‘You three do know I can recognise your voices, right?’ Your shoulders shook as you continued to laugh, "We were mortified! We just hung up immediately."

CHALLENGE: “tell someone you’re injured and don’t know what to do.”

You read from the little black book that they had perched up against the prop phone.

You looked up from the page with a small laugh, "Oh..."

Your thumb hovered over your contacts as you scrolled through them, lips pursing in thought. "Who do I trust enough not to immediately hang up on me?" you joked, earning a quiet laugh from somewhere behind the camera.

A familiar name caught your eye. "I think..." You smiled towards the lens. "...I'm going to go with Mr Jensen Ackles."

Your thumb stopped just above the call button.

"Oh shit, I need to think of an injury first." You frowned dramatically, tapping your chin. "I think... a broken ankle should do it." You looked towards the camera. "Right?"

A couple of muffled chuckles came from behind the lens.

"Okay..."

Taking a steadying breath, you pressed the call button. "Let's hope he picks up."

The phone rang once.

Twice.

Then the line clicked.

"Hey, sweetheart." Jensen's familiar voice came through the speaker, warm as ever. "You okay?"

You closed your eyes for a second, trying not to smile as you slipped into character.

"Hey... um..." You let out a shaky breath. "I think something's wrong and I don't really know what to do."

The warmth disappeared from his voice almost instantly. "What? What's wrong?"

You swallowed, "Okay, so... I'm on set filming right now and..." You hesitated, trying to make yourself sound flustered. "You know how I always like doing my own stunts?"

"...Yeah."

"Well, I landed funny and my ankle's really hurting." You looked down at your foot as though he could somehow see it. "It's starting to swell and it's gone a bit purple and..." You exhaled sharply. "They've said we've still got more stunts to film and I don't know what to do."

Silence.

Just for a second. A split second.

"Can you stand on it?"

You paused, "...Not really."

"Reader."

Even through the phone, you could hear how serious he'd become. You recoiled the phone away from your face as you winced.

"You need to go to first aid. Right now."

"But they said we still have to keep filming-"

"No." His voice cut straight across yours. "I don't care what they said." Your eyes widened slightly at his tone, "If your ankle's swelling and changing colour, you need to stop. Go and get it looked at."

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying desperately not to laugh. "But the director said it wasn't that bad and if I stopped we might not finish today." You pulled a face towards the camera, mouthing, What the fuck?

Jensen, unsurprisingly, wasn't amused. "They actually said that?"

"Yeah..."

"No."

His answer came immediately, "Look, aren't you filming in the States right now?"

"Yeah..."

"If you're anywhere near me, I'll come and get you."

You blinked, opened your mouth before you closed it again.

"We'll go and get it checked out because that is not how anyone should be treated on a set. You shouldn't even be thinking about finishing the day if you're injured."

The words hit you like a punch to the chest and your smile disappeared almost instantly, replaced by guilt. You glanced helplessly towards the camera before looking back at the phone.

"Jensen..."

"Yeah, kid?"

A small sigh escaped you, and you bit into your lip, "I feel really bad."

"...Why?"

You covered your face with one hand. "I'm actually on set with Elle filming Phoning It In."

Silence.

"I just pranked you."

More silence.

"I'm not injured." You winced, “I'm completely fine." Still nothing. "And... I'm really, really sorry because that was genuinely so sweet and you absolutely didn't deserve that."

Another long pause.

"...You're kidding."

You laughed nervously, "No..."

There was another beat before he finally sighed, "You're gonna be the death of me, kid."

A relieved laugh escaped you.

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, yeah."

You could practically hear the smile in his voice now, "I was halfway through trying to work out how long it'd take me to get to your set."

"Oh my God." You dropped your head into your free hand, "Now I feel even worse."

"You should." He chuckled. "But... I'm glad you're okay."

You smiled despite yourself.

"I've got to go now."

"Alright."

"Love you."

"Love you too, kid." He paused for a second, "And next time you call me sounding like you're dying..." You groaned quietly. "...At least have the decency to actually be dying."

You burst into laughter, "I'll keep that in mind."

"See you soon."

"Bye."

The call ended with a soft beep.

You slowly lowered the phone back on to your lap before letting out a long breath. "Oh my God..." Dropping your head into your hands, you laughed, "I feel awful."

A quiet voice came from behind the camera, "I wasn't expecting him to offer to come and get you."

"Neither was I!" you groaned, looking up. "I thought he'd just tell me to put some ice on it or something."

Another laugh rippled through the crew.

Shaking your head, you smiled towards the camera.

"He's actually the sweetest ever."

CHALLENGE: Scare one of your friends with a lie surrounding a separate relationship.

"Oh! "You didn't even have to think about it, "I know EXACTLY who I'm calling." Your thumb was already scrolling through your contacts. "I'm going to call my very good friend, Livvy DiMartino."

You hit the call button.

As the phone rang, you turned the screen towards the camera, revealing a photo of you and Liv wrapped around each other, both grinning from ear to ear. "Look at her." You smiled at the photo, "She's so cute, I actually want to eat her."

The crew laughed quietly.

Almost as soon as the words left your mouth, the call connected.

"Hey, babe."

"Liv!" you beamed. "Hi!"

There was a bit of shuffling on the other end before Liv laughed. "Ugh... Isaac wants to say hi." A second later, another voice practically shouted down the phone. "HEY, READER!"

You couldn't help laughing, "Hi, Isaac. You alright, mate?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just wanted to say hi."

There was another rustle before Liv reclaimed the phone, "Okay, I'm back. What's up?"

You took a deep breath, "Okay..." You deliberately hesitated, "I need to tell you something."

"...Okay?"

"And you need to stay calm."

"Reader..."

Another pause.

"...You're scaring me."

You stared at the phone, your lips pressed together so tightly they were beginning to tremble.

From behind the camera, someone snorted.

"Reader?" Liv asked again, sounding noticeably more concerned. "What's going on?"

You took one dramatic breath.

"I THINK I'M PREGNANT."

Silence, utter silence.

Your fist shot up to your mouth as your shoulders began shaking with suppressed laughter.

"...What?"

"I think I'm pregnant."

There was a sharp inhale, "Is it Arthur's?"

Your eyes widened. Before you even had a chance to answer, another voice exploded through the speaker. "WHAT?!"

You had to physically turn away from the camera.

"Isaac, shut up!" Liv snapped.

"What?!"

"I'm trying to hear!"

You bit your lip so hard it almost hurt, "...Yeah." You nodded into the phone, "It's Arthur's."

"Oh..." Liv sounded completely floored. "Oh my God."

Meanwhile, Isaac's commentary only became louder. "WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT’S ARTHUR’S?"

You dropped your head, laughing silently into your knees. You somehow managed to compose yourself enough to continue, "I've taken like... six tests."

"Oh my God..."

"And I don't know what to do because I've got all the Spider-Man press coming up and..." You took another shaky breath. "How do I even tell Arthur?"

The line was quiet for a moment. Then Liv spoke, her voice impossibly soft, "Okay."

there’s a small pause, "Everything's gonna be okay."

You glanced towards the camera, "I'm with you, alright?" Your smile faltered ever so slightly, "We'll figure it out together."

Isaac was still talking somewhere in the background, though now much quieter.

"We'll work out how to tell Arthur." She paused, "And the press..." Another breath, "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

You nodded instinctively, "Yeah..."

"...Yeah."

There was one more beat before guilt finally won, "Oh..."

You rubbed your forehead and closed your eyes, "There's something else."

"What?" Both Liv and Isaac spoke at exactly the same time.

You grinned, "You've just been PRANKED."

"Oh, you EVIL-"

"WHY?!"

You burst into uncontrollable laughter, doubling over in your chair, "I'm sorry!" You could barely get the words out, "I'm so sorry!"

Liv groaned dramatically, "I was literally about to order an Uber." Another groan, "I was fully ready to come and get you."

"I know!" You laughed, wiping tears from your eyes, "I'm sorry."

"Don't ever play in my face like that again."

"I won't."

"Reader. I know you will."

The crew laughed.

You smiled, "...Probably."

Liv sighed, "I hate you."

"No, you don't."

"...No." A reluctant laugh escaped her, "I really don't."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

There was a brief pause before Liv laughed again, "Have you called Arthur yet?"

You shook your head, "He's my next victim."

"Oh, please tell me how that goes afterwards."

"I will."

"I need every detail."

"You'll be the first to know."

"Good."

You smiled, "Love you."

"Love you too."

There was another rustle before Isaac suddenly reappeared, "BYE, READER!"

You laughed, "Bye, Isaac."

The line disconnected.

You slowly lowered the phone onto the table before turning back towards the camera, shaking your head with a smile.

"I love them both so much oh my god.”

CHALLENGE: Tell someone you're being made to do a massive stunt for press for your new film.

You barely looked up from your phone, "I think we all knew I was going to call for this one." A grin tugged at your lips as you turned the screen towards the camera, "It's Arthur!"

He picked up almost immediately, "Hey, love." His voice was warm, slightly distracted. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good." You tucked one leg beneath the other. "I just need to tell you something."

There was a small pause, "...Okay."

You absent-mindedly picked at the chipped polish on your thumbnail, "So... you know how for Spider-Man they want to do, like... big press stunts?"

"Yeah."

"Well..." You took an unnecessarily dramatic breath, "They've said they want to put me in a harness..."

"Mhm."

"...and throw me off a building."

"...What?"

"They want to throw me off a building."

"WHAT?"

You had to pull the phone slightly away from your ear, "I know!"

"THEY CAN'T DO THAT!"

You bit the inside of your cheek, "They said it'll be completely safe!"

"I DON'T CARE!" His voice echoed loudly through the speaker, "THEY'RE NOT CHUCKING YOU OFF A BLOODY BUILDING!"

A laugh threatened to escape, but you withheld and composed yourself quickly, "They said the harness is really secure!"

"I don't care if they've tied you on with the strongest rope known to mankind!"

You turned away from the camera, your shoulders already shaking.

"They are not launching you off a building for a press tour!"

"But apparently it'll look really cool- "

"I BET IT WILL!" He sounded flabbergasted at the idea of you being that high up only being held by a harness, "Because you'll be FALLING OFF A BUILDING!"

The crew behind the camera were beginning to laugh. You pressed your lips together. "They've done loads of safety checks..."

"I don't care if they've done a million safety checks!" He huffed. "Whose idea was this?"

"I think Marvel."

"I'm having words with Marvel."

You looked directly into the camera. "Arthur, you can’t just fight Marvel, it’s a whole ass company."

"I WILL! I’LL SUE!" Arthur insisted, "They've got enough money, build another building that's, like... six feet tall!"

You snorted, "That's not how buildings work babe."

"I don't care!" Another beat, "Can't they just CGI it?"

"I asked."

"And?"

"They said it'd be more authentic."

"Oh, authentic."

You could practically hear him pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So authenticity is more important than keeping you alive?"

You completely lost it, bending forward as laughter escaped despite your best efforts.

Arthur immediately paused.

"...Why are you laughing?"

You tried to answer, really you did, you just… couldn’t. "I-" Another laugh cut you off.

"Reader…”

“…what.”

You covered your face with one hand, "I'm really sorry."

"...Why are you apologising?"

"I'm actually filming Phoning It In with Elle. And this was one of the challenges. It wasn't real."

There was no ounce of a reply on the receiving end of the phone causing you to wince slightly., "They're not throwing me off a building."

He stayed silent for a moment more, "...I cannot believe I've just spent the last five minutes preparing to argue with Marvel."

The room erupted into laughter. You dropped your head onto the table. "I'm sorry."

"No, because I was genuinely thinking about who I needed to email." You looked up in surprise. "You were going to email Marvel?"

"I don't know!" He laughed. "I hadn't got that far. I was just trying to stop you being catapulted off the Shard."

You laughed so hard your eyes began to water, "I'd appreciate the effort."

"You're unbelievable."

"I know."

He sighed dramatically, "You owe me some emotional compensation."

"Emotional compensation?"

"A nice dinner would do."

"Done." There was a small smile in your voice.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

He chuckled, "...And if Marvel ever actually asks you to jump off a building..."

"I'll say no."

"You'll ring me first."

"I'll ring you first."

"Good."

The call ended. You carefully placed your phone back on the table before looking straight at the camera.

"...He gets worked up very easily. But, I love him for it."

“Thank you, I’m Reader, and this has been Phoning it in.”

@elle

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elle she’s phoning it in!! watch yourusername on our latest episode of phoning it in live now on youtube now!! link in bio.

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yourusername thank you for having me!! 🩷

⤷ elle 🩷

impala67 awh her relationship with jensen is so cute

angryminion bach mentioned

livvydimartino I’m smiling but it ain’t funny

⤷ italianbach most stressful phone call ever.

arthurtv marvel was about to get a strongly worded email thank you very much

bangboompow AWH ARTHUR AND READER MY PARENTS

ilikerainbows okay but her outfit ate DOWNNNNNN

georgeclarkeey that would explain why arthur looked so disheveled when I saw him

finchytv diva is back