breakaway

I would apologize for being MIA for the last two weeks, but really I have no reason to. I know you all missed me, because let’s be real, I’m awesome. How could you not miss me? But no worries kids, I have returned.

The ego is strong with this one. But welcome back.

I just saw the newspaper. A severed hand? Oh my god. What the hell?

I know, it’s insane. I’m honestly a little creeped out. It’s even weirder that all they found was a hand.

No? That’s a bummer. It sounds like it was either hit or miss with the Pokemon catching thing. Quinn caught a Cubchoo. I’m super jealous that I missed the festival, though. Was it spectacular? I mean…. It was a Marikarp festival, so it probably wasn’t that exciting, but…. 

Yeah, it probably was. Mostly a miss in my case, I guess. I mean, it was as spectacular as any regular carnival. There were fun games to play and I managed to actually win myself a giant teddy bear, so that was pretty amazing.

Good, you were supposed to.

Perfect then. I think I can work with being ‘tough as Pokeballs’.

I did. I figured it must be a super fun challenge to try and train one. Plus after all the hard work you get a super powerful pokemon when it evolves.

True. I guess the payoff is pretty worthwhile. I’m crossing my fingers that you get a Magikarp eventually! I doubt I’d have the patience to train one, but I commend you for wanting to take on that challenge.

Right? I earned myself a long soak in the tub after that, let me tell you. How was your trip? You went to Johto, right? Tell me all about it, so I can live vicariously through you. 

I’d agree with that. God knows I couldn’t stand doing all of that myself. I did! And it was pretty nice. I didn’t actually catch any new Pokemon over the trip, though. Nothing really called out to me, I guess. And I mostly just kind of enjoyed being out of Kanto. It was fun, though! The festival, especially.

Toughs as balls, Cohen Chang. You’re tough as pokeballs.

I’m going to take that as a compliment.

You make a valid point, but when you think about it, it’s not my fault. I can’t help it. You put me in front of a pretty girl and it’s too hard to resist. I’m a flirt by nature.

Of course it’s not your fault. Like you said, it’s your nature. But see? My accusation, even if it offended you, was absolutely right.

I’m offended by that accusation. What kinda guy do you take me for?

I take you as being generally well-meaning, but also a huge flirt, Mr. Weston. And I don’t think you can argue that.

I get it, the timing’s a little off, but it’s true. I see you around some days and I gotta stop to take it all in. You’re definitely not the same girl you were when you first stepped foot on campus. I bet you can’t argue that.

No... I can’t. I’ve spent about a year here, so I’ve definitely changed. You’re right about that. I bet you say that to all the ladies, though.

Huh. Looks like it. Tina, my dear. Have I mentioned how good you’ve been looking lately?

Oh, no. No, no. I am not letting you charm me into doing it. And no, you haven’t, but isn’t it awfully convenient that you mention it right at this moment?

Easy. Solid solution for the long term, but what am I gonna do about right now? You’re the brains here, I need your expertise.

Well, if we’re talking about right now, I’m afraid what I said before is your only hope. Unless you manage to get someone to get them for you.

I’m feeling personally attacked here. You’re the second one today. I’m just saying, if she’s gonna send me a box at all she needs to hook me up. I don’t think that’s too crazy. 

I wasn’t attacking, just offering a solution! And no, it’s not. Just write her back and thank her and tell her you miss her, but then subtly slip in a request for more sweets. Easy, right?