ava aka vani aka lucas/25/lesbian/androgynous (she/he/they/it)/white/autistic fuckin uhhhhh hey i mostly post about my special interests and my love for my girlfriend (header by lgbtloids) like my art? feel free to commission me or donate!! https://ko-fi.com/butterscotchbrigade
this is basically a way for me to earn some money while i search for a stable job in the meantime. you can c0mmission me (censored to avoid attracting bots), or just donate/leave a tip!!! it really means a lot!!!
currently the only art i have on there are just examples of older art to give c0mmissioners an idea of what to expect, but i hope to add more as i do more c0mms for ppl!!! check out more of my stuff under the "my doodles" tag on tumblr if u want to see other examples :)
i currently have 10 slots open to start with!!! depending on how it goes i may open up more!!! if u do c0mmission me, make sure to read my terms of service first!! if u cant c0mm or donate, then pls spread this around!! tysm!!!
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SADLY, MY BABY QAIS HAS DIED. THOSE MAY BE THE FIRST WORDS you READ FROM ME TOMORROW.
Tonight, he was admitted to intensive care after losing his ability to breathe, now surviving through machines, and I will not forgive anyone who sees this post and does not support me with a single word and ignores me.
The doctors told me his condition has become extremely critical, and without immediate treatment, he may not survive another night, so so I ask, can you help me get treatment for my baby Qais??
I am begging you as a persecuted mother in Gaza, watching my baby bleed in front of me, unable to stop it. Please donate now and help me save his life before itβs too late.
I am standing outside the ICU, waiting for any sign that he is still fighting, but every second feels like a goodbye I am not ready for. Please donate now and help me save my baby Qais.
Unfortunately, Qais has run out of medicine, and I cannot afford more. To everyone who helped before, I beg you again today. Your kindness kept him alive, and he still desperately needs support.
Iβm saying this with a heart that canβt take more pain. If you read this and scroll away, I wonβt forgive you. My baby is slipping away. Please donate now, please shareβsave Qais.
I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it
what ralsei does with her hands is so important to me
call it a pattern more than a hard rule - but often, whatever's desperate enough to be expressed finds its way into the hands. thought, coalescing into action. affection, pooling into touch. fear, stalling into hesitation.
which may well be why i'm so fascinated by the way ralsei stows hers at the back
kept like that, they're removed from the situation - too far back to reach or interfere, merely ever cinching around what was antecedently given
ralsei is the ultimate embodiment of hands tied.Β
the prophecy's "prince" from the dark, meant only to assist and interpret, never to do. then comes chapter 5, and - SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT! -
suddenly... her hands are everywhere...?
her hands help when she wants them to and clench when she doesn't
her hands twine with kris', guiding them both through a puzzle she would've ordinarily waited to see solved first
her hands push flowery away
they swat at him, also!
her fingers pluck up the drink vouchers, eyes gleaming at her favorite among them
they help themselves to a bit of cheese, purely on a whim of taste
her palms cast an offensive spell for susie, instinct overriding a lifetime of learned passivity
and... loveliest of all... her hands fall naturally to her sides. loose and comfortable. tasked with nothing whatsoever, only where they happen to be.
in the wake of it all, ralsei kneels by the water, palms pressed together, praying like begging, begging like praying - doggedly convinced this is the far shore of who she can be.
and if the water answers at all, it does so with a reflection. one whose hands protected and defied. the change plain to any with eyes.
β¦you'd think a prophecy would know a better knot than that, wouldn't you?
ralsei's none the wiser. ask her, and she'd vehemently insist she can't alter a thing - least of all herself. but why ask at all? just take a gander at those mitts; they tell you plenty.
save some faith and belief for yourself, too, princess
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π¨ Surviving the surgery means nothing if she dies in the ICU.
My mother survived a high-risk surgery, but she is still in the ICU fighting for her life. The surgery was only half the battle we cannot afford the daily medication keeping her alive.
The Goal: We urgently need $465 for this week's ICU care.
The Crisis: We only raised $35. The donations have completely frozen.
The price of a single cup of coffee could buy my mother's next breath. Please don't let everything she survived be in vain.
If you canβt donate $1 or $5, you MUST REBLOG this immediately. Your reblog is what keeps her alive.
THESE MAY BE MY LAST WORDS ABOUT MY WIFE.
This could be the last time I write anything while my wife is still alive, and I will never forgive anyone who sees this and scrolls past without caring or even sharing.
Today, my wife's medicine ran out. Since leaving the intensive care unit, her condition has remained critical, and without her treatment, I fear she could stop breathing again. I have no way to afford the medication she urgently needs.
I am begging you from Gaza, watching the woman I love struggle for every breath while I stand helpless beside her. Please donate now and help me get her treatment before it's too late.
Please donate now. GoFundMe.
Literally of course I believe everybody can be reformed however the willingness of white queers to laugh about having a Nazi phase and the prevalence of 4chan to the point of claiming itβs some sort of universal experience and right of passage is insane like you laughing about how youre a reformed former nazi really doesnt do much to make me think youre reformed
please wear sunscreen!!! I've seen "fuck the beauty industrial complex" posts about complicated skincare regimens and am 100% with them except sometimes they mention sunscreen and no. no. absolutely not. sunscreen is a wonderful supportive friend who wants to keep you safe, and you should let her do it. throw out all your other cosmetics and skincare products if you want, but keep your sunscreen. and if you're not wearing sunscreen, start wearing it!!!! this is not about terror of aging, this is not about every tiny imperfection our fucked-up culture has made you feel insecure about, this is about protecting yourself from skin cancer. wear the damn sunscreen.
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Please, we urgently need β¬700 for emergency surgery for my nephew. His health has deteriorated significantly; he is now in a coma and unconscious, suffering greatly. Time is running out, and every moment is crucial for him.
My nephew is his parents' only child. He lost his father in this genocide in the Gaza Strip and suffered multiple traumas during this war. He has already had one operation and now needs another. Please don't leave him alone. Donate towards his operation. I don't want to lose him like I lost my mother and brother. Please donate, donate!
I swear to you, watching a child in pain right before our eyes while we are helpless to assist him is a feeling beyond words. Please, do not let my nephew suffer any longer; help us secure his surgery before it is too late. Please donate. π₯Ίπ
I write to you with tears in my eyes. The genocide killed our provider, the one who gave us food and clean water. My older brother was our support; he provided food for us and my mother, who was suffering from cancer. My brother was killed by a treacherous bullet to the head; he died instantly. My mother's health deteriorated afterward until she died from the hunger and disease that ravaged her body. My brother, my father, and I were left alone, with nothing to satisfy our hunger or silence our gnawing stomachs
Our bodies have been weakened by lack of food and clean water, and diseases have taken hold. I am now suffering from chest pain; I have been struck by a wheezing that causes shortness of breath and has confined me to bed. I find it difficult to move. Meanwhile, my younger brother and my frail father, who is suffering from the pain of loss and hunger, remain
Help support Mohmd Hlywat by donating or sharing with your friends.
My father suffered greatly after losing my brother, and shortly after, my mother. Now his other son is bedridden and unable to do anything, and his other son is a young child. Our lives have been turned upside down. We are being killed in a genocide. My father looks at me every day and cries because he can't provide us with food, and my health is deteriorating day by day from hunger. Please help us. Save this helpless little family who don't even have enough money for food. Please save me before I die. My father has lost enough. Please don't leave us alone. Help us in any way you can. We need $300. Please help us. Don't let us die. Please. πππ
TRAGICALLY, MY BABY QAISβS HEART STOPPED BEATING TONIGHT SUDDENLY.
I stood there frozen, unable to breathe as I watched my child collapse in front of me, and I will not forgive anyone who sees this post and does not support me with a single word and ignores me.
The doctors said severe bleeding and weakness caused this terrifying moment, and without urgent treatment it could happen again anytime, so I ask, can you help me get treatment for my baby Qais??
I am begging you as a persecuted mother in Gaza, watching my baby bleed in front of me, unable to stop it. Please donate now and help me save his life before itβs too late.
OH MY GOD, I felt my heart break as I saw my baby Qais unable to move or respond, lying there in pain, and I could not help him. Please donate now and save him
Tonight I thought my baby Qais had died after his body suddenly stopped moving in my arms, and I screamed his name while begging him to open his eyes again. Please, I beg you from my shattered heart, donate now before I lose him forever.
Today I smelled infection from my baby Qaisβs wound before I even saw the blood. I knew something was terribly wrong. Please donate now and help me save his life.
Every night, I promise myself I will stop begging and somehow find another way. Then morning comes, Qais still needs medicine, and I return with the same broken heart, asking for help again, please donate now.
The donations stopped, but his pain didnβt stop. His wound is still bleeding, his body still weakening, and I am still here begging, as if his life paused waiting for someone to care.
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