imagine your super hunky husband has been in space for years and years, and you’re so excited because he’s finally back and you’ve been dreaming of all the things he’ll do to you when he gets back because he’s a freak and loves you sm only for him to be like “hey, I found this squishy jello leaky alien thing who’s built like a worm, and can sense things we can’t, and speaks in clacks and chatters and little harsh sounds. I owe it my life so we’re keeping it and I’ll kill everyone on this planet and then myself is smth happens to it.”
And you’re like… “okay??”
and he’s like “great! it needs its own environment because it’ll die if it touches ours. we also need to make food for it. also we should let it teach our kids because it was a teacher on its home planet. Have you considered polygamy?”
It happened to my close personal friend, Adrien.
















