John âSoapâ MacTavish x reader
a/n: a little short blurb :)
The night had that kind of quiet that only comes after the first heavy snowfall. Soft, thick, and still. The world around him had gone pale, but all Soap MacTavish could see was her.
He leaned against the hood of his truck, breath fogging in the bitter air, eyes fixed on the light spilling from her apartment window. It wasnât much, just a dim glow framed by half-drawn curtains, but it was enough to keep him standing there longer than he probably shouldâve. Enough to remind him what warmth looked like when the rest of his life was all frost and steel.
He wasnât supposed to be here. He wasnât supposed to want to be here. But somewhere between the gunfire and the ghosts, sheâd found a way into the cracks of him, quietly, naturally, like sunlight sneaking past the blinds.
He thought about the last time heâd seen her, hair mussed from the wind, cheeks flushed, laughing at something heâd said that wasnât even that funny. Heâd never known someone so soft without being fragile. Someone who made him want to be gentle.
A shiver ran through him that had nothing to do with the cold. Heâd crossed countries for missions that meant nothing compared to this moment, standing outside her place, heart pounding like it was trying to break out of his chest.
Heâd crawl through the snow for her if she asked, bare hands and bleeding knuckles, didnât matter. If she needed him, heâd go. If she wanted him, heâd stay.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, another mission, another call to leave, and he stared at it for a long time before letting it fall silent.
From the window, she moved. Just a silhouette, maybe making tea, maybe humming to herself. He couldnât hear her, but he imagined it anyway.
Soap smiled faintly, a kind of ache in the curve of it. âYouâve no idea what you do to me, lass,â he whispered to the quiet, voice low and rough with something that wasnât quite sadness.
He wanted to tell her everything. That heâd shout her name from the nosebleeds if thatâs all he could ever be, that heâd freeze in the snow if it meant being close to her, that he was down for her in every way a man could be.
But for now, he just watched.
Watched her light flicker against the frost, warmth against the dark.
And when she finally opened the window just a crack, just enough for the cold to slip out and his heart to lurch, he swore she looked right at him.
At least, thatâs what it felt like.
Her silhouette paused in the windowlight, hand hovering mid-air like sheâd forgotten what she was doing. Snow drifted past her glass in lazy spirals, landing on his jacket, melting down the back of his neck. He didnât move. Didnât breathe.
For a second, he thought about turning away, slipping into the night like he hadnât been there at all. But heâd been gone too long, seen too much, and he was tired of leaving things unsaid.
So he raised a hand. Just a small wave. Nothing grand.
Still, it felt like the bravest thing heâd done in months.
She blinked, then smiled, slow, soft, surprised. The kind of smile that didnât ask for explanations, just offered warmth. She disappeared from the window, and before he could think to doubt it, the front door opened.
Her voice carried across the snow, warm against the cold. He swallowed hard, boots crunching as he stepped forward.
âHey, lass.â His breath came out ragged, like her name had stolen the air right out of him. âDidnât mean to wake ye.â
âYou didnât,â she said, pulling her sweater tighter around herself. âYouâre freezing. What are you doing out here?â
Soap hesitated. There were a thousand answers, none of them simple. âJust⊠needed to see ye.â
She laughed under her breath, soft and disbelieving. âYou couldâve texted.â
âAye, couldâve,â he said, his accent rougher now, the way it got when his guard slipped. âBut you mightâve said no.â
Something flickered in her eyes. Sadness, maybe, or something gentler. âAnd if I had?â
He looked down at the snow, scuffed the toe of his boot through it. âWouldâve stood here anyway. Guess Iâm just that daft.â
The silence between them stretched. The only sound was the quiet fall of snow and the slow thud of his heart.
She stepped closer. He could see the reflection of the streetlight in her eyes, could smell the faint trace of her perfume, something warm and sweet that didnât belong in the kind of world he lived in.
âJohnâŠâ she started, and he could hear it, the worry, the question, the ache she didnât know how to name.
âIâm not askinâ for anything,â he said quickly, voice low. âJust wanted ye to know⊠Iâm proud of ye. Of the life youâve built. I see itâhow good it is. Youâre⊠youâre light, love. And Iâm justââ He laughed, a broken sound. âIâm just a fan in the nosebleeds, yeah? Clappinâ for ye from far away.â
Her brow furrowed. âDonât say that.â
He shrugged, trying for easy, failing miserably. âItâs true enough.â
She took another step closer, close enough that he could feel her breath against his jaw. âYou donât have to stay far away.â
âMaybe not,â he said softly. âBut itâs safer for ye if I do.â
She frowned at that, and something in him twisted. He reached up, brushing a bit of snow from her hair with trembling fingers. âIâd crawl through a bloody blizzard just to see that smile again. Doesnât mean I should.â
The words hung in the air like smoke. He wanted to take them back and mean them all at once.
Her hand found his wrist, small and steady. âThen stay for tonight. Just tonight.â
He looked at her, really looked, and for the first time in a long while, he let himself imagine what peace might feel like.
He nodded once, sharp and quiet, and followed her inside.
The door shut behind them, muting the world to nothing but the sound of melting snow and the heartbeat heâd been chasing all along.
And though he told himself it was just one night, he already knew, heâd fall for her again in the morning.