he can still see it. bars of inhumane metal between two men who were forced to face reality far too quickly. separating the human from the immortal ── like they were two monsters destined to be locked away. he still remembers the anguish, the pain that stabbed him in the gut like a relentless sadist every time the thought crossed his mind. flames ── his whole childhood engulfed in the embers that held the ones he kept closest. as he was ripping at the doors, the heat unbearably scorching fragile skin of his palms, he was torn away. taken prisoner. the next thing he remembers is waking up next to him. a similarly grief - stricken stranger at the time, but eventually the reason he was able to hold on.
derek spent the years following his untimely escape with loss plaguing his heart like a morbid & rampant virus. he had nothing left to cling to but the memories of the torture. of the needles stuck into every vein inside of his body, the pain inflicted with the excuse of experimentation. every breath he took was another sad tale of grief. a sick & grueling reminder of what he was mourning. the family home that was now abandoned in smithereens as a keepsake of tragedy to the quiet town. the friend that he had left behind, without bothering to turn back. a trauma response, is what he read. a selfish decision, is what he decided.
he shut it off. decades passed with the hurt being swallowed & ignored like the bitter taste of cold medicine. dreading doing it, feeling like it was an easy way out from the pain that many go through in their every day, human lives. but the simple path or not, it relieved the anguish. even if the solution was temporary. it may not be a decision that others could make ── but he wasn’t human. death was ripped from him at a time he needed it most ── not feeling was his only practical means of unwanted survival.
the ground is ripped from beneath his feet ── as quick as it went, the steadiness of the revolving earth returned. even with the years that had passed, he can recognize the floorboards that lay rotten under his mud tainted shoes. he can still smell the remaining ash that exists as a result of untouched tragedy, an agreement to preserve the memories he wishes to forget. his eyes tear away from the familiar broken glass of the front window, focusing instead on the phantom. it’s a delusion! ❝ how can you… ❞ raspy voice trails off, swallowing the knot that threatens to suffocate him. ❝ how are you here? ❞
there it is, his humanity elongating its traitorous claws and making an inexorable attempt to part the floodgates keeping it locked away. it’s risk-free there, it’s at peace there, it’s devoid of any more suffering there. enzo grew weary of it unfailingly getting in the way, he’s called it a hindrance on more than one occasion, and as he continues without said humanity intact, it’s how he vows to so remain. yet with derek standing before him, scintillating emerald now gazing back at him, the vampire can’t help but note the ghosts that still haunt those eyes, just as they did when in those cells. while everyone’s chosen to so willingly leave enzo behind one way or another, he recalls derek’s family being involuntarily torn from his very hands. a blazing fire had raged, torching them one by one until oxygenation was snuffed from their lungs, until all that remained was ash.
the clawed clutches of humanity, there they go giving the doors of his soul yet another violent tug. that’s the funny thing about flipping the switch, it may free one from the constraints of heart and soul, prohibit the manner in which recollections wound, influence, and debilitate, but it does not eliminate them. memories remain, and sometimes with a particular person, such recollections can stir fierce enough sentiment until it breaks free — resurfacing to once again be a hindrance. for a split second, it’s what occurs within enzo, for a deep ache churns within, jolting and augmenting until the evidencing emotion is trounced by masked apathy and detachment. that alone should’ve been his telltale sign, that derek hale still had such power over him, well he’d be damned to continue allowing it.
gaze snaps free of @bentrule, russet hues trailing the rotting hardwood beneath their feet as he takes a step back and begins to turn with agonized leisure. his body angles away just a fraction at first, until he pivots entirely, he doesn’t know what he’d do with the hybrid still so close — within arms length — and he wasn’t about to find out. ❛ how am i here. ❜ he echoes bitterly, bitingly for his own ears but for another, a care wouldn’t as little as be detected in his voice. ❛ you mean mostly breathing and not a pile of swept up ash in a wrought iron cell ? i could ask you the very same, mate. ❜ hands slip into pockets of dark denim, shoulder hazardously taking a rest against a soon to be decayed banister. ❛ let’s just say that a certain scientist wasn’t the best at his job. i was eventually freed. ❜
images flash behind his eyes — sharing blood rations, recounting tales to keep one another off the brink of insanity. honesty, secrecy, trust, grief — they shared it all. after a long while, nothing appeared to be off the table for them. until now. it’s now safe to say that derek hadn’t died, so had he left him, too ? something torrid rages within enzo then, we’ll call it that pesky humanity, and it’s screaming for liberation. he doesn’t know what to think, he doesn’t know what had happened to derek, all he knows is that yet again, another may have chosen to abandon him. he doesn't face him, back to derek’s front, enzo’s shoulder continues pressed against splintered wood and his gaze is settled on a broken window. ❛ all those years after damon left us in that cell. i believed you’d died. ❜ a pause, pin drop silence in the space between them, around then, until it’s filled with what would’ve been the deepest ache. ❛ tell me, derek, did you leave with him ? ❜
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