Sly Trashery

suddenly everyone was DMing Harry Styles like "am I ravioli approved???" And he mostly said yes, but the ones he said no to died. And the next day it would come out that they had been murderers or just terrible people.

They gave Harry Styles his own government Bureau of Ravioli Approval (BORA) and every baby born got an approval/disapproval rating with their social security number. Infant mortality dropped because every baby except the Disapproved ones lived.

Eventually he did like a 12-hour live special of him reading the death records of the last 20 years and approving/disapproving of their deaths. There wasn't any earthly repercussions to that but im pretty sure it meant he was sending them to heaven or hell?

The dream ended with a looney tunes ending card, except instead of porky pig it was harry in the middle with the message "This Dream Is Ravioli Approved." And i woke up.

I’m glad all you SHEEPLE are finally seeing the light about alleged “human being” Harry Styles. If you examine “Harry”’s birth certificate, you will find that “he” is, in fact, SIX PEOPLE. MANAGEMENT has been foisting them on us for years. Open your eyes. Learn with your brain. The six “HARRYS” are very easy to distinguish once you know what to look for.

HAROLD

The original “Harry Styles.” A harmless idiot. Died in 2012 from eating too many guavas. 

JEBWARD

A glamorous pajama magnate who owns AT LEAST three monogrammed juice carafes. Dictates his Tweets to an assistant. Wears his pants too long so no one will suspect he has somewhere between six and eight toes per foot. 

BART

A simple farmer. Was once bankrupt from buying too many riding mowers. Has several children that he birthed at home, in a bathtub, and named after famous trees of history.

FORTINBRAS

Shy and reclusive. Easily startled. Lives in the mountains, emerges only to climb in and out of cars (his true passion). Wears makeup and wigs to mask fact that he is only eight years old. MANAGEMENT, FREE THIS CHILD.

GARBO

Found in a jungle. Eats eucalyptus leaves. Preys sexually on older men. Speaks English only when fed lines phonetically. 

REPTOID

O’BAGONAGALL

This jaunty 1,000 year old leprechaun was discovered working on a Norwegian whitefish trawler in exchange for a daily allowance of fish skin. You may ask him only ONE question, but as long as you keep a piece of iron in your pocket, he MUST ANSWER TRUTHFULLY.

HELMORG

HELMORG is believed to be a professional THESPIAN but his motives are SINISTER. He graduated from the Royal Academy of the Dramatic Arts with a degree in Complaining and appears to be INVISIBLE ON TRADITIONAL FILM, although his image can still be captured DIGITALLY. A skilled and deadly knife fighter. APPROACH WITH CAUTION.

LORRAINE

LORRAINE is sixty-two years old and just wants to go to her LADIES YOGA class in PEACE. 

DIPPITY

DIPPITY is an innocent LARPer caught up in Modest! Management’s POWERFUL MIND GAMES. He has been told that all the world is an enormous Live Action Role Playing Game, within which he has a “secret mission” to identify himself as “Harry Styles,” an “actor.” In return, he is permitted to pretend to die in the arms of one (1) famous person per day. WE MUST ENLIST TOM HARDY IN THE FIGHT TO FREE DIPPITY.

CORN TOAD

1) I don’t think young people on stan twitter are very good at discerning sources, so they are easily led astray. They tend to believe the people they trust [read: the people they LIKE] but don’t always investigate sources on their own to make sure what they read is true and unbiased. They believe without verifying. 

2) Young people in general tend to have more moral clarity. It’s easier to see the world in black and white. As you get older, and you live through more things, many people (not all) learn that things are more complex and nuanced. Twitter does not allow for nuance, and stan twitter REALLY doesn’t allow for much nuance either because now we’re talking about people with lots of information, very decided black and white views, and teams of people behind them who will take their side and lend “moral” strength to their argument.