poems i keep at night

Supreme Court of the Philippines, a powerful branch of the government that shall seek a fair and just due process of law, presented to the country in 2016 by a unanimous vote, which the corpse of the former president Marcos will be put to rest in the “Libingan ng mga Bayani”.

After hearing, some people’s faces cannot be traced in admiration nor in awe—but instead it was a look of disgust, hatred and betrayal. Dismal, as it may seem, the people’s reaction cannot be denied for they are still chained by the atrocious history that they tasted during the Marcos’ administration, such as; the declaration of martial law ; institutionalization of extra-judicial killings: historical fabrication and unmerciful stabbing of dignity and humanity against his own Filipino people. Marcos, therefore, a symbolism of a “killer”, should not be put in the Libingan ng mga Bayani.  Because he himself doesn’t have the same fabric as their estimated standards of a hero.

 What is a hero, then? It is defined as a man that is admired through their courage and outstanding achievement (Oxford, 1911). Marcos, a hero or not, given his alleged abused position of privilege to run society for his own benefit—was only one of the subtopics of his issues. The Oxford’s Dictionary’s definition of a hero is the total opposite of Marcos’ reflection; a monster. A monster who ordered soldiers to kill thousands of Filipino; a monster who made the idea that he is a veteran, who fought against the Japanese colony; a monster who was the President of the Republic of the Philippines— with two terms. And having a monster be put to rest with the most influential historical figures in the Libingan ng mga Bayani, is a disgrace that destroys the image towards the international community that was long taken care of by the ever responsible Filipinos.

What is hero, then? Not from a dictionary, nor the standards of the society but from the basis of the social justices that voted the decision of “YES”. Or is Marcos’ corpse be put in the LNMB, is he already considered a hero per se? If you are a vegetable placed in a fruit basket, will that make a vegetable, a fruit? No. A vegetable will stay as a vegetable, but just like the other fruits, they’re both perishable goods, they serve as a source of nutrients, though they have their own differences, they will still be in the same place.

Marcos, in turn is not a hero, but he served the country; as a President. You can label him, mock him, and disclaim him as being part of the country.  That you yourself is scraping the idea of “For humanity’s sake” is an idea of; denying a person a proper burial; dragging his skeletons out from the LNMB; killing a person that is already dead; wiping to him all of the deaths during the martial law?; blaming every single rape victim, every abused Filipino, every man in the country that he did it, can be safe to say as an acceptable notion for the sake of humanity?

We are magnifying the idea that those people who mobilized the scheme during the martial law, the soldiers who were involved, the soldiers who did all the “dirty jobs, the soldiers who abused their sense of authority, were in a clean slate?, when in fact, those soldiers aren’t 5 years old that cannot decipher what is wrong from what is right. If were talking about humanity here, better ask the people behind the mask, all the people who made it possible to drive their inner monsters.

NEVER DATE A GIRL WHO TALKS. She’ll always have a tough desire to share everything about every day. Even if she’s tied up in; taking a nice warm bath; doing piled up laundry from last week; running errands-on the deadline; eating her already cold dinner and even reading an erotic book, she will find time to squeeze you in.

 NEVER DATE A GIRL WHO TALKS. She will challenge you. In the middle of your conversation, you will find yourself debating issues about napkins, countries and even peace. Your dates will be full of challenges that will push you to spit some ideas in mind. Yes. She talks a lot. But no. She’s not shallow.

  NEVER DATE A GIRL WHO TALKS. She is not a good listener. Aside from having the need to avoid the “you’re-talking-too-much-i-can’t-speak” panic attack. But if it’s your turn to speak, her whole world will focus only on you. But you will have to expect some interruptions-that can’t be stopped, but she will let you finish after that.

 NEVER DATE A GIRL WHO TALKS. She has a lot of friends; consider boys. Sociable people fuel their conversation by focusing positive qualities from others. She will not mind what kind of human they are, for as long as they get along, they will totally become friends-even best of friends.

 NEVER DATE A GIRL WHO TALKS. She is harsh. If she’s upset, she needs to talk it out. If she’s mad at you, she will say it. She can be harsh but that’s how she can cleanse the stress off from her chest. And you will just have to listen, let her finish-just shut it– just let her. And after that, she's fine.

And hes beside me

MEMENTO MORI by Camille Tapec

As my tired cheeks felt the cold tears from my swollen eyes

As my mouth tasted the saltiness from the pain of these holy waters

I am drowned by the rain that I made, so dark, so loud

 that what I only wish for it, is to stop.

 But I can’t. I won’t. 

Though I’m falling apart, I can only see grey and not art

But by washing away the canvass that I had drew on my face

 I can only pray to forever not chase

 A paint that aces a  very colorful one 

Though I did not only create

 I drew strokes and lines 

but someone colored it with the kisses of highlights

I painted it plainly with white, 

and yet someone blended it with intoxicating flames of red

 I traced it with lead to make its borders strong

 but someone smudged it,

 to soften the features of it all.

 I changed

  I let someone paint the guards of my art.

 And now I’m left with my fading art,