Burger King Ghidorah

Now, as is often the case with lists like these, this isn't absolute - there are THOUSANDS of Ultra kaiju. I am going to neglect to mention a few who definitely, absolutely deserve to be here. I'm gonna do my best!

Likewise, this order is a lot more of a suggestion than anything - I'm comfortable giving the number one spot to the one in question, but everyone else is kind of a nebulous cloud of simultaneously sharing the same spot. The numbering is pretty arbitrary.

Also, I'm going to gender them as I see fit, and you have no power to stop me.

Without further adieu.

10. Neronga

Who doesn't love a recycled Baragon suit?

Neronga here is neither the first nor the last of that surprisingly vast genre of kaiju, but she always stuck out to me the most. There's just something instantly recognizable about that mug, with its HUGE red gums and enormous tusks that push them out into a permanent angry Kermit sneer. Neronga somehow gives off the impression of being pudgier than the kaiju whose body she's borrowing, despite being nearly identical from the neck down.

The most distinctive feature of this kaiju, besides the face, is probably those big beetle pincers that sit on joints, and can read as slicked back, faintly draconic horns, or sit upwards, like massive antlers. They also vaguely read as cute little twintails, which might contribute in some part to me reading Neronga as feminine.

Neronga's origins were never really delved into - Ultraman is set in a world where giant monsters just emerge from the ground sometimes and we've gotta deal with that. Sure, there's a history of her being sealed away by an old samurai in the Edo period, and over the years she grew giant and fed off electricity, but that doesn't actually explain where she came from to begin with. And it doesn't really need to either.

What's important is that Neronga is here now, feeding on electricity and turning invisible, which is a combination of abilities that feels weirdly common, despite seemingly being unrelated? Neronga can do it, Electro can do it, Miles Morales can do it, Invisibo can do it...

Neronga was one of a small handful of kaiju lucky enough to get a roll in Shin Ultraman, where she was given the best sort of revamp: the kind that watered down NOTHING, keeping those goofy lips, that comically wide maw, and all of that wonderful texturing, even building on it with several additional rows of teeth. Here, she's reinvisioned as one of several biological weapons placed on Earth by Alien Mefilas - this is apparently a common practice around the galaxy as there is a massive embargo on bringing technological weapons to underdeveloped worlds, but living things are fair game, thereby justifying every single alien invader who shows up with a giant monster to wreck our shit, instead of relying on any sort of technological siege. It's not a question that ever needed to be answered, but I respect that we answered it anyway.

Neronga is also going to have a role of indeterminate size in the upcoming Ultraman Rising. While I don't expect it to be particularly huge, the fact that there's a whole track dedicated to her suggests that it's at least going to be more than a blink-and-you-missed-it cameo. I'm hopeful, at the very least, because I love seeing our pudgy electrovore getting attention so many years after her debut.

9. Silverbloome

Silverbloome is an interesting villain, as it was the first of an entire faction of new kaiju that showed up in the final quarter of Ultraman Leo, all guided by a unified theme - the ability to transform into flying saucers(With a rather broad definition of what that actually means) - and serving the same master: An alien known as Black Directive who may or may not be the extension of a malevolent planetoid called Black Star. It seemed that they decided Leo needed a unified villain, so the last several kaiju all serve him.

The saucer gimmick and the cosmic horror of a sentient planet that hurls kaiju at you aside, Silverbloome is my favorite of the lot, for the simple reason that it decided to kick off the arc with a bang by mozying on up and devouring the entire supporting cast of the show at once.

I've been on the internet for a long time. I've seen some shit. I've been paid to draw some shit. I've drawn some shit of my own volition. And lemme tell you, there's a borderline sensual horror to the image of a creature just emerging from the stars, enveloping a space station with all your friends inside, swallowing it whole, and then leaving without a word.

Silverbloome isn't sadistic in the manner of a villain hyping themselves up. Silverbloome isn't sadistic in the manner of a serial killer who wants to prove how edgy and nihilistic he is. Silverbloome is sadistic in the manner of a person describing their darkest neotare fantasies to the artist they are paying to illustrate them.

But I respect the hustle of any monster who decides they're going to eat an entire faction of characters at once. Silverbloome also apparently impressed Jordan Peele too, given that he would later have them star in his 2022 masterpiece Nope.

8. Gazort

Cryptid kaiju are nothing new to the franchise, but it's not often atmospheric beasts get the spotlight.

Belonging to a race of creatures that dwell in our upper atmosphere called 'Critters'(And ONLY Critters. Accept no other localizations!) these creatures are totally harmless - to us. With few other sources of food, they're a tremendously cannibalistic species. And when they're exposed to our society's vast and inescapable web of radio waves, they tend to coalesce into enormous stingray/cobra monsters like the one we see here.

But of course, our humans aren't xenophobic warmongers - the promise of a society of intelligent beings existing right under our noses is something to be studied, not annihilated! Working quickly to translate the beast's cries, they extend it the hand of friendship, hoping to be able to make peaceful contact with the monster.

Gazort(in its eerily childlike voice) accepts this offer of friendship. Because friends just taste better than strangers!

Suffice to say, the humans decide that maybe they'd best resort to violence after all.

Still, as creepy as Gazort is, I do have a bit of a theory about how its society operates. See, when the kaiju is defeated, a swarm of critters rise back up into the atmosphere, presumably going home. And the kaiju itself is, of course, composed of multiple critters joining together.

So what if their notion of cannibalism is simply different from ours? Whether becoming a gazort is natural or unnatural, the fact remains that merging together is awfully similar to absorbing one another, and it does not seem to be a fatal process. If you consume your peers so you can all join together into a giant monster, would it not be more desirable to absorb someone you like than a total stranger or someone you hate? I mean, if you're going to be part of the same hive mind and all, it's just common sense.

Could be, there was neither malice nor callousness to Gazort's interpretation of friendship.

7. Aboras

Aboras is usually part of a package deal with her arch rival, Banila, but I'm going to focus on my favorite of the two - not that I'm throwing shade at Banila. The freaky, fiery seahorse is certainly a lot of people's favorite, and he deserves it!

Aboras is most notable for being of the "previous kaiju with a different head" subgenre. In this case, Red King, painted blue and given a huge, grotesque, vaguely dinosaurian head. And yet, it works. Aboras' head is riddled with bizarre little details like the placodont-esque ridges in place of teeth on the lower jaw, contrasting the more conventional teeth above. Or the way the jaw shoots backwards before bending forwards, almost like a pelican eel. Or even simply the elaborate, carved, stony texture of the head itself.

One of a pair of apparently demonic beasts who were sealed in a liquid form inside a pair of capsuled by an ancient civilization, Aboras feels like she and her rival have a lot of history that we never really get to learn much about. Were they created by the civilization? Summoned? Did they just turn up one day? Are they literal demons or is it one of those things you give to someone as a title when they're really destructive and scary?

No answers! But sometimes it's fun to speculate.

Aboras and Banila have a strong yin/yang thing going, with Banila being red and fire-themed, while Aboras is blue and watery. And while Banila spews the expected fire, Aboras' breath weapon is, um... caustic soap suds.

Traditionally, the elemental attack of 'water' themed characters is usually cold or pressurized water or occasionally lightning, but there's something I love about going with acid instead. It's not water, but it is a liquid, and it does reduce whatever it touches to liquid. Is it not, if anything, water squared?

Also, you gotta give major props to a lady who can tank three specium beams before going down. That just doesn't happen!

6. Kingsaurus III

Confusingly, there is no Kingsaurus I or II. This kaiju gets his name from the fact that he's the third "king" monster, following Red king and Eleking... and also King Joe, but that one doesn't count apparently, since its name was a pun .

One thing you may notice about our boy here is that, unlike a lot of quadrupedal kaiju, he's standing on all four feet, as opposed to crawling on his hands and knees. This is generally an uncommon practice because it requires the suit actor to have their butt elevated way in the air - not a problem for a dinosaur, who tend to have a lot of junk in the trunk by default - and because it tends to completely murder the actor's spine - still very much a problem, sadly.

Still, what a handsome monster he is. Kingsaurus is another of the "appeared one day and started eating something we very much want it not to eat" genre of kaiju. In this case, uranium, making it one of the few non-Godzilla Japanese kaiju to actually be radiation-based. An unused script also suggested he was from Atlantis, so there's that.

5. Gomora

The man, the myth, the legend, the prince of monsters!

Gomora's always been popular, but it wasn't until he got to be the hero for a couple series that I truly began to appreciate him. It was a long time coming too, IMO, given that until then, Gomora had only ever been a victim of circumstance, unjustly exploited by humans and being killed for it each time.

As a design, Gomora is simple and memorable: A gojiroid with a spiky underbelly and a distinct crescent-shaped head crest. He's unlikely to be intended to be any specific type of dinosaur, but his crest, nasal spike and beak give me the impression that he's some kind of bipedal ceratopsian. But that's just speculation.

When he became a main character for Ultra Galaxy, Gomora got to play a role that seemed to be half Anguirus and half Showa Godzilla, being scrappy, cunning and OH so tenacious! Rather than having a flashy signature attack that can one-shot other monsters Gomora was given a more conventional beam fired from his nasal horn - one that can nuke weaker opponents, but not quite enough to finish off the major villains. And he got around this limitation by simply jamming his horn into those villains' guts and firing it point blank, incinerating them from the inside out!

The kaiju have always been given respect in the Ultra series - one of the things that makes it stand out from a lot of monster of the week series, IMO - so Gomora took to a heroic role like a fish to water. I'll never forget the fight with Zetton, where the script called for a traditional "villain beats up all the heroes and then leaves" type scenario, only for Gomora to stubbornly refuse to go down, hanging on by a thread until he finally, eventually, BARELY, overwhelmed Zetton and defeated it, only collapsing when it was done.

A simple design, for sure, but Gomora has a lot of heart. Even besides the obvious appeal of being a dinosaur, it's no wonder he's as popular as he is.

4. Bogal

One part Orga concept art, two parts those dudes from Beastmaster, Bogal is a major arc villain for Ultraman Mebius, being both the force drawing the kaiju out of hiding and being a white whale for our main ultra's anti-heroic rival, who seeks revenge upon Bogal for devouring the civilization he was protecting.

Bogal's reason for drawing the kaiju out of hiding is simple: They're her preferred food source! Those horrible toothy wings there are her primary means of feeding, engulfing victims like the leaves of a venus flytrap and absorbing them directly, each one working to fuel her metamorphosis to her final form.

Admittedly, I prefer her original form, but Bogalmons is still pretty fetching. More importantly, if killed in this form(or while in the process of digesting a kaiju in her previous stage, for that matter) Bogal's body will erupt into a devastating explosion, ensuring that the heroes don't dare kill her until they're sure they can contain it - too bad her Ahab doesn't care about things like collateral damage. This means that in addition to being an inciting incident and a frightful beast herself, Bogal is the focal point for a good old fashioned heroic redemption arc!

Bogal's a kaiju who offers a lot of bang for your buck, even outside of simply being a formidable, freakish, fangly femme.

3. Silvergon

Ultraman Tiga was a continuity reboot for the Heisei era of the Ultra series, and a lot of its kaiju were pretty deliberate allusions to ones from the Showa era. Silvergon here was essentially Tiga's answer to that most iconic brute, Red King!

Residing in a personal dimension called the Rainbow Underworld(Which admittedly looks prettymuch identical to the Japanese countryside), Silvergon was the tyrant of his domain - though apparently not its sole inhabitant - Preying on any who stumbled into his world. But he was less of an evil overlord than he was a petulant child who happened to be stronger than everyone else.

As a design, Silvergon is slightly more complex than his "stack of pancakes with a brachiosaurus skull head" counterpart, though ultimately still pretty elegant, essentially being a dinosaur made of huge slabs of metal, sporting curled ram horns, a long, surprisingly gracile tail, narrow, stalagmite-like dorsal spines, and a goofy, grinning face. All in all, he sells the image of a beast who's as jolly as he is unstoppable.

Though he lacks any special powers beyond tremendous brute strength and durability, Silvergon is still a lovable dork who, when confronted with Ultraman Tiga's finishing attacks and transformation gimmicks, attempts to mimic them by copying the gestures - and throwing a tantrum when they don't work.

There's also a bit of a Jurassic Park T.rex thing about his vision, where he can only see you if you're moving, leading to this awkward image.

2. Gagi

Fittingly, our next entry actually appeared in the same episode as Silvergon, though she had one to herself a ways before. If Silvergon is Heisei Red King, Gagi is pretty blatantly Heisei Gudon - Minus any sort of rivalry with Twintail's Heisei counterpart.

Appearing in an amusement park, Gagi begins dragging people underground to act as incubators for her eggs, meaning she's one of those kaiju who gets to interact with humans on a somewhat finer level than most, as facilitated by those tendrils and the massive energy dome she generates to keep her catches contained.

As a design, Gagi is very pleasantly lizardly, with a broad, somewhat splayed shape, huge hands and feet, and a soft, hissing cry. Her tendrils aren't particularly squamate, but they give the vibe of a slinkier, more insidious creature who might be lurking just under your nose, pulling you into her clutches when you think you're safe, or inappropriately groping you while you're in the middle of another kaiju's focal episode.

The One

Officially localized as "Beast The One" though it really feels like it should be "The First Beast" given the context behind that name.

The One(Or The first, but I'll stick to the name everyone recognizes) is the first kaiju of the alternate continuity series, Ultraman Nexus(Specifically of the pilot movie, Ultraman The Next).

Effectively a retelling of Bemular, The One is sort of a dark counterpart to Ultraman, being an energy-based alien entity who arrives to Earth in a glowing sphere and possesses a human host. But where Ultraman lives in harmony with his host, relying on his own power and only taking over to save the day, The One prefers to absorb other fleshy creatures and take on their abilities to grow in strength, completely subsuming and devouring its human host.

The One actually goes through several stages, initially just covering its host in scales and spikes before transforming him into increasingly grotesque, increasingly spiny, reptilian forms, using each new transformation to meet Ultraman where he is, before absorbing more critters and ascending to more and more horrible forms.

Its final form comes after absorbing what appears to be every crow in Japan, transforming them into a pair of enormous, black pinyons with which to follow Ultraman into the sky and beat him in his home turf. I especially love this part because when Ultraman eventually severs the wings, both the severed portions and the now useless stumps explode back into those very same crows, who all fly to safety as The One plummets back to Earth. Woulda been nice if maybe we could save all the lizards and rats and whatever else he absorbed to get to his final form, but I suppose they were more heavily integrated into its biomass by that point.

Anyone who knows me knows that tokusatsu monsters and bio horror are two of my very favorite things ever, so seeing a kaiju who combines them both so seamlessly was a rare and wonderful treat. The One has the shape of a traditional kaiju, but the most grody and unwholesomely fleshy texture, combining the wet puppet horror with snarling man-in-suit monster goodness.

In a long-running franchise with literal thousands of monsters to choose from, picking favorites is difficult. I'll probably do an honorable mention followup. But, as tough as it is, ultimately I feel comfortable giving my number one spot to The One.