SO THE FELL STAR CONSUMES EVEN DARKNESS ITSELF

room is a novel by emma donoghue. 

‘ you’ve got some nasty cuts there. ’

‘ i’ll carry you. ’

‘ you’ll be exhausted if you don’t have a nap. ’

‘ up you go. ’

‘ would you like a lullaby? ’

‘ we save our hugs for people we love. ’

‘ just try lying down and closing your eyes. ’

‘ did you have a bad dream? ’

‘ drink your juice. ’

‘ i know it’s scary. ’

‘ would you like a blanket? ’

‘ you’re shouting again. ’

‘ i wouldn’t lie to you about this. ’

‘ probably just a twenty four hour bug. ’

‘ what about a story? ’

‘ stay. ’

‘ night-night, sleep tight, don’t let the bugs bite. ’

‘ too tired for a story. ’

‘ lift me up? ’

‘ i’m not sleepy, i just need to watch tv and not think for a while. ’

‘ don’t you want your breakfast? ’

‘ just shut up for a second and let me think. ’

‘ i’ve got a long list of things to ask for already. ’

‘ i’m sick of listening to you. ’

‘ you’re going to enjoy the world so much. ’

lines taken from various characters and events found in  american mcgee’s  game  ,  alice : madness returns  ( 2011 ) .  feel free to change pronouns   ( he , she , they , i , etc )   &  tenses as you feel necessary .

“ another day  ,  a different dream perhaps ”

“ i know what’s real ”

“ i know i’m guilty of something ”

“ punishment hardly ever suits the victims of a crime ”

“ you’ve used me and abused me  ,  but you will not destroy me ! ”

“ i want to forget ”

“ it’s not a dream  ,  it’s a memory ”

“ how is one to find her way ? ”

“ i didn’t kill my family ”

“ i’ve not come back here looking for a fight ”

“ i’m not afraid to die ”

“ when you’re not on edge  ,  you’re taking up too much space ”

“ threats  ,  promises  ,  and good intentions don’t amount to action ”

“ every picture tells a story .  sometimes we don’t like the ending .  sometimes we don’t understand it ”

“ delusions  ,  too  ,  die hard with memory ”

“ only the savage regard the endurance of pain as the measure of worth ”

“ forgetting pain is convenient  ,  remembering it  :  agonizing ”

“ a secret is only a secret when it is unspoken to another ”

“ different denotes neither bad nor good  ,  but it certainly means not the same ”

“ how fine you look when dressed in rage ”

“ is our situation not dismal ? ”

“ every adventure requires a first step ”

“ only a few find the way  ,  some don’t recognize it when they do — some don’t ever want to ”

“ everything’s a nail  ,  is it  ,  miss hammerhead ? ”

“ forgetting’s just forgetting  ,  except when it’s not ”

“ a good guest does not overstay  ,  a perfect guest stays home ”

“ who benefits from your madness ? ”

“ what you claim not to know is merely what you’ve denied ”

“ authority must be obeyed  ,  or it must be overthrowned ”

“ you shouldn’t ask questions you know the answer to ”

“ make your survival mean something ”

“ memory is more often a curse than a blessing ”

“ the past must be paid for ”

“ you’re as randomly lethal and entirely confused as you ever were ”

“ return to whatever hovel’s home to you ”

“ your presence here is unwelcome ”

“ everyone here has an excuse for doing nothing ”

“ this world is not so either  /  or ”

“ what’s true of the living is often true of the dead ”

“ this life is full of random death ”

“ death is the ultimate equalizer ”

“ all have the right to be eaten ”

“ you’re not that good a liar  ,  and i’m not that stupid ”

“ your madness will be punished ”

“ come to receive your punishment then ? ”

“but real life isn’t a movie.”

“ you’re looking for answers, but answers aren’t looking for you.”

“because life is a gradual series of revelations that occur over a period of time, it’s not some carefully crafted story. it’s a mess and we’re all gonna die.”

“life doesn’t make narrative sense.”

“you don’t wanna have a baby, do ya’?”

“we tell ourselves that we’re in a movie, each one of us thinks we got the starring role. the truth is sometimes you’re the lead and sometimes you’re an extra just walking by in the background.”

“people aren’t characters, they’re complicated and their choices don’t always make sense.”

“that being said, it’s really messed up that you banged your ex’s dad.”

“i know this town like the back of my hand, but i’m not such a fan of the back of my hand cause if you look really close at those hairs and veins, you’re like “hands are sorta gross”, it’s hard to explain.”

“but, before you feel too great, remember that we suffered.”

“the enemy of romance: the group hang.”

“do we really need all these nachos?”

“i’m so afraid of horses!”

“now you’re telling a story about this dude named jeff and the time he “sprooched”, whatever that means…”

“i had a friend named jeff once, he took bad mushrooms and jumped off of the roof of our dorm!”

“it makes me so sexy-sad!”

“and now the most dreaded part of the group hang: the check.”

“we’re in a yoga class, now is the time to let your mind go blank and focus instead on how awesome the yoga teacher is.”

“look at me, look at me, i’m so good at yoga!” 

“i do shit with my body that no human should be able to do.”

“i’m so much better than you.”

“i’m not afraid to get tattoos and they’re all in sanscript.”

“i used to be afraid of so much in this world, i’d tiptoe through the day like a frightened little girl. one day i realized i can’t just run and hide from life.”

“now if someone pulls a gun on me, i pull out my knife.”

“sit on my lap like i’m santa and listen to me.”

“don’t be scared, stand your ground.”

“if a bear runs at you in the woods, don’t run away. look it deep in the eyes, put your hand on its chest and say “bear i’m not afraid!””

“what’s a girl to do when she’s stuck between men? it’s like she’s a barbie with two perfect kens!”

“i’m just in love, i can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

“i have no underlying issues to address, i’m certifiably cute and adorably obsessed”

“they say love makes you crazy, therefore you can’t call him crazy. when you call him crazy, you’re just calling him in love.”

“do you ever feel so alone that if you were to pick up the phone, no one else would be on the other end?”

“now you’re beaten and tired with no one to call a friend…. he doesn’t count.”

“no one else is singing my song, no one knows the rhythm enough to sing along.”

“these people are human beings with feelings and you’re using them to make money!”

“jk, lol! let’s do this!”

“loves not a game, none of us would ever say love is a game.”

“they’re our dear friends, they are not horses.”

“we’d never soil that with a death pool on the side, but ____ at age 52. parasailing accident.”

“we definitely shouldn’t do this, this is bad, we’re going to hell, this is bad.”

“i just talked to jesus and he said that it’s cool.”

“we’ve all had enough of this. come on you two, your relationship is important to us!”

“you say that you’re broken up and that it’s over, yes you’ve both been ‘bout as stubborn as can be! but, we see from afar just how cute you are and the thought of it makes everyone just squee!”

“it’s confirmed, it’s official, the group mind has decided you’re in love!”

“now you might say i just need a distraction, from the stress and drama from my life–”

“my whole life i’ve wanted to be bad, but whenever i tried the result was always sad.”

“so sad, so pathetic, weak, and sad!”

“now i know a certain beau who doesn’t worry about what’s decent or right! that’s you.”

“pound away  my morals, spank off all my kindness, expose the dormant bitch that lies beneath.”

“let’s make war not love all night and day.”

“let me choke on your cocksureness.”

“you’re like professor snape in his sad dungeon with his potions, cause somehow you don’t have that sucky thing called emotions.”

“but, why do i feel like i want more?”

“despite it all if ___ called, i’d be there on bended knee, because deep down i still hope that maybe ____ would settle for me.”

“i’ve seen a lot of hallmark movies and the look on peoples faces before they run and confess their feelings? that’s your face.”

“trust me, i know guys and that look in your eyes means your in love.”

“i’m way too badass to be someone you settle for.”

“why not just settle for them? they’re a nice smart person and we do get along…well, most times.”

“as soon as i’m done peeing, it’s time to start being a little more realistic than i’ve been.”

“you can’t monopolize the bathroom at a taco festival!”

“i pee my pants, i get up from the bar to find pee on my pants. i say it’s water but, all it takes is a glance for people to realize that i peed my pants.”

“i puke on my cat, i fall through the doorway and puke on my cat. i try for the toilet, but puke on my cat.”

“i try to be good to others, treat my fellow men like brothers and sisters.”

“oh my god, i’m the villain in my own story, i’m the witch in my own tale!”

“though i insist that i’m the protagonist, it’s clear that my soul is up for sale.”

“when i go to hell, i’ll run it as satan’s cfo! he needs someone to do the books. actually, i shouldn’t do that…i’m terrible with money!”

“we’re told love conquers all, but that only applies to the hero.”

“being bi does not imply that you’re a player or a slut.”

“sure, i like sex but i’m no hoe! i take things slow until i feel at ease.”

“well, you’ve done it now, karma’s come to tap you on the shoulder.”

“you’re just a lying little bitch who ruins things and wants the world to burn.”

 “i was so close to paradise, but now the only thing i’m close to is defeat.”

“won’t stop the self-pity, ‘cause i’m on a roll!”

“you’re just a poopy little slut who doesn’t think and deceives the people they love.”

“real-life fighting is awkward, it’s not like movie fighting.”

“i’m not sad, you’re sad!”

“i tell the uber to race that bitch as i rant about lilo and stitch. that movie is cinematic art.”

“to quote stitch: ohana means family.”

“for the most part, the universe is chaos and that’s just how life goes.”

“sometimes life decides to be annoyingly obvious about when it wants you to make a change and you’re just supposed to be in awe like a putz and go “wow, life sometimes you’re magically strange.”

“i’ve known something was wrong but, mom said weakness causes bloating.”

“fake it ‘till you make it, that’s how i got by.”

“i’ve never heard voices, but maybe it’s time to start.”

“i’m ready to blow this joint, and by joint, i mean my inner sense of confusion.”

“yes, i like penises, but who doesn’t?”

“you’ve reached for the moon, and landed among the stars!”

“oh god, do i have to sing an inspirational musical theater song right now?”

“i am the moment, the moment is me.”

“you’ve done it now, you’ve gotten everything you said you wanted.”

“finally i’ll be the hero of my own story, the princess in the tale, in an unexpected twist it turns magic exists.”

“and then in a wonderful way, everything in the past will just fall away.”

“do you remember back when we had problems? oh man, that was annoying!”

“now our love has magically solved our problems, and there won’t be any more problems in our future at all.”

“fine. i guess i’ll just soul train out of here, loser.”

“never worry about paying the bills, the only money we’ll need is sunset.”

“i don’t need gasoline, my car will run on love. elon musk is developing that kind of car, the first test failed but that’s because it wasn’t true love!”

“and though i like my men and my booze, i pray to above that i’ll find true love, but no one wants a lady who’s used.”

“can someone lasso me a husband? i’m nothing without a husband.”

“the menfolk give me a dollar and a smile, but that don’t lead to walking down the aisle.”

“get me off of my back and standin’ up straight, so i can be the type of person that you’re not ashamed to date.”

“i’ll wear white and pray to matyrs, i’ll trade in my guns and garters.”

“there are only two types of people, me and the virgins you commit to.” 

“i’m angry and pleased and a little bit diseased.”

“no other fruit can do quite what an apple can.”

“they’re marvelous in the morning, they’re lovely late at night, they’re delectable in the daytime, an apple always tastes just right.”

“we are merely pretzels, that is all we are.”

“but, now, we are a symbol, such is our twisted fate.”

“we didn’t ask to be in charge of someone’s mental state.”

“we are hurting from the burden of being someone’s life motif.”